Downward Spiral
by CrimsonRaine87
Summary: Circumstances arise to create complications between Anders and Fenris, driving an even bigger wedge between them. Could the return of a woman from Anders's past and Fenris's encounter with a lovely tavern woman be the end for them? Sequel to The Best Kind. Mature content.
1. Chapter 1

The long-awaited sequel to The Best Kind!

**Warning!: **Guy on guy action again! So once again, if you're not into that you might wanna mosey along. Contains more mature content, assault, violence and lotsa drama. It's my second attempt at erotica, so bear with me if it's still newb level ^_^; I was a little reserved in the first story, but I tried to be more dirty in this one.

Some game facts and dialogue in the story may be a little off base or incorrect cause I'm just making some chit up. It's fiction after all, lol. Anyway, enjoy.

{*} = short passage of time or change of events in the same passage.

* * *

**Downward Spiral**

Anders's mind felt hazy as he walked through the door to his clinic. Perhaps he'd had too much to drink at the Hanged Man? He felt unsure for some reason. He was rubbing his temple when he came to a stop upon noticing a figure standing in front of the desk at the front of his clinic. Fenris was leaning on his hands and looking down at the desktop where Anders's manifesto sat. He seemed to be reading it intently and didn't notice Anders's return. Anders hesitated a moment, then began to casually approach Fenris.

"What are you doing, elf?" he asked. It's true Fenris came to the clinic pretty often over the past few months, but he'd never hang around in plain sight to wait for Anders. The elf preferred not to be seen.

Fenris turned his head to look at Anders and straightened himself. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. This caught my eye and I couldn't help taking a look. It's very deep, moving even. I can't deny you make some good points. I suppose I never thought of the injustices mages suffered, only the injustices they dealt."

Anders folded his arms and tilted his head a little, giving the elf a small smirk. "You don't say?" he asked with sarcasm. "I never would have guessed, you seem to like mages so much after all."

Fenris gave Anders a half-smile, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I suppose I deserve that. I don't hide my dislike for mages, after all. But after being with you all this time and reading your words, I think..." He glanced to the side, an unsure expression on his face.

Anders unfolded his arms. "What?" he asked, starting to get an uneasy feeling.

Fenris looked back at Anders and moved closer; he suddenly caressed Anders's cheek, catching the mage off guard with the affectionate gesture. "I feel like my view on things is changing. I've hated mages for so long, but I never stopped to think about what they go through outside of Tevinter where they have no rights. I never stopped to think about what you go through. You're my lover, yet I never support you or your cause. You have been fighting alone for mages' rights all this time, and I have been giving you nothing but grief. I want to change things, for our sake..." He stroked Anders's cheek with his thumb.

Anders swallowed hard and blushed lightly as Fenris looked at him with those beautiful elven eyes. The elf held his cheek and leaned in kissing his lips softly. He put a hand on the mage's hip and pressed their bodies together. Anders felt light-headed as he returned the elf's kiss, wrapping his arms around Fenris's waist and held him tightly against his body. They started kissing passionately, panting softly and swirling their tongues together.

Fenris broke off the kiss and kissed along the side of Anders's neck up to his ear. "Do you want me?" he murmured, his voice changing to a more seductive tone.

"Yeah..." Anders said softly.

"Do you need me?" Fenris asked with that same seductive voice.

"Yes..." the mage responded.

"Then take me, and give yourself to me as well..." Fenris whispered in Anders's ear causing a shiver to run down his spine.

He rubbed his hands up the elf's tight stomach to his chest and whispered into his long pointed ear. "I will..."

Anders's hands suddenly began to crackle with electricity. "...take you out."

Lightening erupted from his hands and burst through Fenris's chest sending the elf flying back several feet screaming. He crashed onto the floor of the clinic on his back, a gaping hole in his chest crackling lightly with electricity.

Fenris grabbed his chest coughing up blood and gasped for breath looking up at Anders with wide eyes, a look of shock and betrayal on his face. "W-why...?"

The look on the elf's face made Anders pause, but he quickly composed himself, taking a few steps forward and folded his arms. "If you're going to impersonate someone, you should at least do a good job of it...demon."

The figure on the ground before Anders scowled in anger and flashed with a bright light as it began changing shape. After the light faded, a desire demon lay on the ground looking up at Anders in place of Fenris. She gripped the wound in her chest as it bled heavily. "So it wasn't enough..." she said in a hollow voice. "Perhaps I should have gathered more information before attempting my possession." She coughed again, blood running down from the corner of her lips.

Anders smirked. "I'm rather glad you didn't. Nice try attempting to disorient me, but I can usually tell when I'm in the Fade." He wasn't going to admit he didn't realize it at first, of course. "You're no good at impersonations, though. It takes more than looks and a half ass personality imitation. The elf isn't the affectionate type, nor would he be sympathetic toward mages. And he certainly wouldn't call me 'lover', as it implies romantic feelings. But more importantly, he was a slave and never received an education. He can't read."

Anders had found out about the elf's illiteracy by chance. Fenris had discovered a letter in his room and had to inquire about the contents because he couldn't read it himself. He admitted the fact reluctantly, seeming embarrassed. Fenris said it was only curiosity, but due to the feminine handwriting it was obviously from a woman, and the elf may have suspected that it was some sort of love letter. Anders told him it was a thank you letter from a grateful mother whose sick son he had healed. The elf's jealousy was kind of cute sometimes, somehow it made Anders feel wanted. Well, wanted in a different way than usual.

The desire demon gritted her teeth and scowled fiercely. "I was too hasty, I wanted to take you before it was too late."

Anders frowned, losing his smug expression and narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you talking about?" he asked, unfolding his arms.

The desire demon grinned weakly, adopting his lost smug look. "You know what I mean... The corrupted spirit that inhabits you, you're slowly losing yourself to him. He continues to grow stronger, becoming a greater part of you more and more as time passes. Your 'good deed' will be...your downfall..." She began struggling to breathe and lay back closing her eyes on the verge of death. "No one can save you, Grey Warden mage...you are...doomed..."

She exhaled her final breath and was gone. Her body began growing transparent until it disappeared, leaving only a pool of blood on the ground where she had been laying.

Anders hung his head and closed his eyes, no longer feeling triumphant. The demon had been right. Justice was growing to be a bigger part of him, and he himself was growing ever closer to his end as a Grey Warden with each passing year. If Justice didn't take over him first, he would reach his Calling. And then...

"No one can save me..." Anders murmured with a heavy heart, repeating the demon's words.

"She almost had you." A deep, menacing sounding voice said, seeming to appear from nowhere.

Anders sighed heavily. "Give me some credit, would you?" He turned to face the owner of the voice.

Justice stood looking at Anders with those sharp, glowing blue eyes, his arms folded and the usual look of anger on his face. He had Anders's own appearance with only slight differences. "If demons are trying to use that elf against you it means he's trouble."

Anders rubbed his forehead. "Not this again, Justice." he said in exasperation.

"It's true!" Justice's voice boomed. "This elf is a distraction, he will corrupt you! He will get in the way of your duty toward the mages you are to help!"

Anders was growing tired of this conversation, but there was no persuading the spirit. "It's just sex, I'm not going to change anything for him. So relax already."

"Is it?" Justice suddenly said, stepping closer to Anders. "Is it only meaningless sex, nothing more?"

Anders looked at Justice, his chest suddenly feeling tight. "O-of course. The elf and I...there's nothing there. We just do it for the enjoyment, not because there are any feelings between us." That's what he told himself at least, but sometimes the elf stirred up uncomfortable feelings in him.

And Anders didn't like it.

"I don't understand how you can carry out this act of depraved debauchery so shamelessly." Justice said with a disapproving tone.

"That's probably because you've never had sex." Anders muttered absentmindedly. He realized afterwards that it was an awkward comment to make to a virtuous spirit, and Justice frowned deeply with a look of discomfort.

"There were memories inside of Kristoph, of him and Aura when..." Justice cleared his throat and quickly changed the subject. "But spirits do not indulge in acts of mindless lust. Those are the actions of demons. I mustn't have interest in such a thing." His self-righteous tone had returned; the spirit really was a straight arrow.

Anders shook his head. "You're reading into it way too much, Justice. Sex is sex, it doesn't have to involve feelings for your partner. The elf and I aren't like Kristoph and his wife, it's just not the same."

Kristoph and Aura had loved each other deeply, but outside of sex Anders and Fenris were still rivals. They had opposing views and feelings that created animosity between them often, and it would take more than great sex to change that.

But the Fenris Anders shared moments of passion and ecstasy with was an almost different person, one that created conflicting feelings inside of Anders. He tried not to think about it though.

Justice narrowed his eyes. "Don't forget, Anders, I am you... We share one mind and body. Remember that." Without another word, Justice turned and started walking away, suddenly vanishing and leaving Anders standing alone in silence.

"You're wrong," Anders said softly, even though Justice wasn't there anymore. "I'm alone. That's how it must be. It's my fate..."

He didn't want to be there anymore, he wanted to wake up. Anders closed his eyes and willed himself awake, exiting the Fade.

* * *

Anders's eyes opened quickly and he took a deep breath through his nose then slowly exhaled and closed his eyes again. Why couldn't he have more pleasant dreams like he used to? Ever since he became a Grey Warden they were often dark and miserable. But that wasn't a Grey Warden dream. He put a hand over his eyes and lay in the still silence for a moment.

"How do you expect me to sleep if you keep tossing like that?" A sleepy voice grumbled.

Anders lifted his head and looked down at the head of white hair rested on his chest, the tip of a pointed, dark-skinned ear poking out through the soft strands. Anders laid his head back again, sighing quietly. "Sorry, just an unpleasant dream."

"You seem to have those often, mage." Fenris murmured.

Anders picked his head up again quickly. "What? How do you know that?"

Fenris shrugged lightly. "You get restless, and you talk in your sleep sometimes. You speak of dark things... Something about calling, the Deep Roads, darkspawn and archdemons, and something about an architect."

Anders sat up abruptly making Fenris sit up as well. "What do you know about the Architect?" he asked with a hard tone in his voice.

Fenris looked at him startled. "Nothing, you don't say much. I mean, other than wanting him to stop, as if they're doing something to you, but you don't really say what is." He hesitated a moment, then asked cautiously, "Who is this person?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Anders answered quickly, looking away. He really didn't want to talk about the horrible experience, but there was also the matter that it was Grey Warden business. The truth was they wanted to keep the identity of the Architect a secret from anyone outside of their order, and it was probably for the best. Though Anders was no longer with them, he respected their wishes in that matter. He still remembered the first encounter with the Architect; he had captured him, the Warden Commander, and a couple of other comrades and made them prisoners. He experimented on them, used them, took their blood. Anders still had nightmares about the painful experience. He cringed at the thought of what their fate would have been had Velanna's sister, Seranni, not help them escape.

Anders tossed the blanket aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, turning his back on the elf and signifying that the conversation was over. He bent over and picked up his pants off the floor where he had dropped them the night before. As he was putting them on, he tried changing the subject. "I need to get going, I have things to do." He put on his boots then stood pulling his pants up and grabbed his shirt.

Fenris started dressing as well, pulling his pants on and picked up his top. "More 'mage revolution' stuff?" he asked with a grin, not needing to see the mage's face to know he annoyed him.

Anders turned around, putting his coat on. "Would you quit saying it like that, you damn elf!" he snapped.

Fenris chuckled lightly, attaching his gauntlets. He got amusement out of teasing the mage. "You're almost cute when you're annoyed, mage."

Anders walked to the door and opened it. "Sometimes I think you're not cute at all, you bothersome bastard." he muttered. He heard another amused chuckle from the elf as he lifted the board that hid his bedroom door and walked out with Fenris close behind him. When they neared the desk at the front of the clinic Fenris came to a halt.

"What's this?" he asked curiously.

Anders turned to see Fenris looking at his manifesto. He felt an unsettling sense of déjà vu. The image of dream Fenris flashed in his mind, a bloody mess with a look of pain and betrayal on his face. The dream seemed to have a bigger effect on him than he thought. He shook off the feeling, reminding himself that it wasn't real.

Anders gave the elf a wry smile to conceal his feelings. "I'm writing an adventure novel about a brave and handsome mage who fights for justice and has an annoying, horny elf for a sidekick." He had no intention of telling the elf the true contents of his writings, he'd surely receive some criticism for his beliefs and he wasn't in the mood for another argument.

"Hmmph, brave and handsome mage, huh? Certainly sounds like fiction to me." Fenris said with a smirk.

Anders should have expected that. He frowned in irritation. "I was just getting to the elf's death scene where the mage sets him on fire after the elf annoys him one too many times."

Fenris grabbed Anders's arm and pulled him aside, pushing him up against the desk and pressed his body against the mage's. "Like you'd kill me, mage. What would you do without me?" he murmured with a grin. He kissed Anders's neck and sucked on it lightly, drawing a small groan from the mage.

Anders tilted his head as Fenris's lips caressed his sensitive spot. "Mm...probably get some peace for a change..." he muttered. They had sex frequently, almost everyday. The elf's sex drive was active, but Anders couldn't complain, and he couldn't deny that the sex was great.

Fenris held Anders's waist and pressed their hips together, rubbing up against him. He moved his lips to Anders's and kissed him deeply, slipping his tongue into the mage's mouth. The two men made soft groans and pants in their hot, sensual kiss, pressing and rubbing their hardening groins together. Fenris thrust his hips against the mage's more, and their sounds of ecstasy began to grow.

Anders suddenly pulled out of the kiss and tried to catch his breath. "Wait, this isn't a good place to do this."

Fenris grinned mischievously. "That's what you said about that alley in Lowtown, but you seemed to enjoy it just fine."

Anders frowned. "Yeah, and I'm pretty sure we traumatized Aveline's guards woman."

Fenris shrugged casually. "It'll teach her to stick her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Because investigating strange noises isn't part of her job." Anders replied sarcastically.

Fenris chuckled lightly, taking hold of Anders's cheek and spoke into the mage's ear, his lips brushing against the skin. "But it made you more excited, didn't it?" he asked in a low, sexy voice. "Getting caught in the act like that. Being seen bent over and getting rammed from behind..."

Anders swallowed hard and turned his head, trying to hide his reddening face. "D-don't be an idiot, elf. It was embarrassing!"

Fenris chuckled and turned the Anders's face back to him. "Admit it, you're just a slutty, kinky little mage. But I wouldn't have you any other way..." He leaned in to kiss Anders again, then suddenly froze in place.

"What?" Anders asked.

There was sudden stomping on the wooden steps outside the clinic that Fenris had obviously heard coming with his elven ears. He jerked away from Anders quickly just before the door to the clinic swung open and three men ran in panting in exertion. They wore the robes of mages, but were obviously not from the Circle.

"Anders, we have a problem!" one of them said in a panic.

Anders pushed off the desk looking at the three men startled. "Calm down, what's wrong?" he asked, grateful that he wore baggy pants and a coat so hopefully none of them would notice his raging erection.

One of the others looked like he was about to say something but halted when he saw Fenris. He was partially sitting on the edge of the desk with one leg crossed over the other, trying to hide his own hard member. He had a displeased look on his face; the elf didn't like being interrupted.

The young mage seemed reluctant to say anything in front of a stranger, especially one with such a scary expression on his face. Anders glanced at Fenris then back to the other mages. "Don't worry, he's just..." Anders hesitated, realizing he wasn't sure how to introduce the elf. "Uh, he's...an acquaintance. Another one of Hawke's companions."

Fenris frowned and looked at him arching an eyebrow, seeming critical of the weak excuse for an introduction. Anders cleared his throat, trying to ignore him, then motioned the other mages to the back of the clinic. He knew it wouldn't matter if they put some distance between them and the elf, though. Fenris had great hearing after all, and would most likely be able to hear them even in the back. But it would probably make the others feel better to get further away from him before discussing the situation.

Fenris turned and stood with his back to the other men, feigning interest in the papers on Anders's desk so it seemed like he wasn't paying attention. He felt some dissatisfaction with the mage's introduction of him, though he wasn't sure what else he could have said. They weren't friends really, and lovers sounded too romantic for their situation. The title was normally used for couples who had feelings for each other, and they were simply screwing around for fun. He supposed the mage didn't want to use the term 'sex partner' either. Perhaps 'acquaintance' was sufficient after all.

Despite coming to that conclusion, the term 'lovers' drifted back into Fenris's mind. A curious thought, but he quickly tried to suppress it and focus on listening in on the mages' conversation.

"Ok, what's going on?" Anders asked once they were near the back of the clinic. The look of distress on the others' faces was causing nervous knots in his stomach.

"It's Lenora," the youngest mage of the group said. "they're going to make her Tranquil!"

Anders's eyes widened, he felt the color drain from his face. "What? They can't do that! She passed her Harrowing back when we were kids in Ferelden. They have no right to make her Tranquil!"

"But that was when we were in the Ferelden Circle." the young mage said. "Things are different in this Maker forsaken Void. Ser Alrik is more vigilant than any templar over there, and determined to make us all into drooling, empty shells."

Anders tightened his hands into fists and scowled angrily, the lost color in his face returning as red. "Alrik..." he growled through clenched teeth. "That was the bastard who made Karl Tranquil." He would never forget what had been done to his friend and one time lover. Even after all these years the pain hadn't subsided, and it probably never would. He was forced to kill someone dear to him in order to free them from the misery of being a Tranquil; a fate often considered worse than death to mages. If Anders had just reached him sooner...

Anders pushed the memory aside and tried to focus on the current situation. "How did this happen? What did she do that could have caught anyone's attention? She's a good mage, she's never done anything wrong."

The young mage hung his head, trembling lightly with anger. "That paranoid bitch, Meredith, she had the tower mages' belongings searched unexpectedly the other day to look for evidence of any 'wrongdoing' or 'conspiracy'. They found Lenora's love letters..."

Anders became tense with anger. "That's it? Love letters?" he asked in disbelief. "Because she loves someone she has to be made Tranquil and void of all feeling and emotion? Isn't it enough that our freedom and rights are taken from us? They would also take away our right to have feelings for someone else as well?! We can't live free lives, we can't get married and have families, and we can't have feelings for someone. It's bullshit!"

The young mage shook his head. "Those bastards think if a Circle mage has feelings for someone outside the tower they'll try to escape to be with them, and if they were desperate enough they'd even turn to blood magic to do so."

Anders scowled in resentment. "Are they really so ignorant? Those fools are just looking for any excuse they can find! They would deny mages every comfort they could get to make the Circle the least bit bearable. Lenora doesn't deserve to be punished for simply looking for some consolation provided by those letters!"

Fenris turned his head to look over his shoulder at that point and glanced at the group out of the corner of his eye. Anders was getting more and more worked up over this woman by the second. Why was the mage so upset about her being punished for being in love? And who was she exchanging love letters with? He looked back down at the papers on the desk in front of him and recalled the time he saw a letter in Anders's room that had obviously been written by a woman. The mage said it was from a mother whose son he had helped, meaning it was someone who was already married with a family, but Fenris had no way of knowing if that were true. After all, he couldn't read it himself to verify.

Fenris tensed his fingers on the desk, causing the tips of his gauntlets to dig into the faded wood. Why should he even care? What did it matter to him? He and the mage didn't mean anything to each other, there was nothing between them. It was simply meaningless sex, mindless passion and nothing more. So why should it bother him if there might be someone the mage actually had feelings for? But if that were the situation, what did it mean for him? Fenris was starting to feel ill for some reason, but continued listening in on the conversation.

"What do we do?" one of the other mages asked. "We can't just let this happen to her!"

Anders folded his arms, a grim expression on his face. "Isn't it obvious? We're getting her out of there. We're going to help her escape by any means necessary."

Fenris's body became tense, his eyes widened. Was he serious? Was he really going to try and break a mage out of the Circle?

"Our inside informant said we have less than a week before they brand her." the third mage said. "We have to figure something out, and fast."

Anders nodded in agreement. "Go get the others together, I'll catch up to you guys in a bit."

The others nodded and started to leave as Anders headed for his room. Fenris turned to watch them as the group started to pass by. One glanced at him, seeming to look below the belt as if checking for something, then quickly looked forward again. Fenris noticed and groaned inwardly. Perhaps he hadn't concealed his erection well enough after all.

The mage who had looked at him whispered to the younger one, probably thinking Fenris couldn't hear, "Hey, Andru, is Anders, uh...you know? I thought he liked women..."

The young mage, obviously named Andru, looked at him. "What? Oh. Um, he isn't, not really. Sex is sex, you know? We are from the Ferelden Circle, remember?"

"Ohh..." the other two said in unison, as if that explained everything.

Fenris shook his head in disbelief. Was the Ferelden Circle really that famous for its debauchery? A Circle tower full of horny, perverted mages? If Anders was any indication, then it might not be so farfetched.

The men left the clinic closing the door behind them and Fenris was glad for their departure. At the sound of Anders's bedroom door opening he looked over to the see the mage walking out with his staff at his back. Anders didn't even look at him as he started to walk by. "Might as well go home, elf. I have business to attend to."

Fenris grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "You're not seriously going to break a mage out of the Circle, are you? It's insane!"

Anders glared at Fenris and yanked his arm away. "I won't leave her there, they have no right to turn her into some emotionless drone! Alrik is going too far, he won't have his way again! He already took Karl from me, I'll be damned if he takes Lenora too!"

Fenris remembered the mage, Karl. He remembered Anders killing him at the other man's desperate plea made during a brief moment of freedom from the Tranquil state. Fenris never thought about how painful it must have been for Anders until now. The mage must not want to go through that again.

"Who is Lenora?" Fenris finally asked, giving in to his nagging curiosity.

Anders's angered glare slowly transitioned into a sad look of nostalgia. "She's someone important to me; we were in the Ferelden Circle together. I looked out for her when she first came to the tower as a kid. She was a frightened, mistreated young girl who hadn't known kindness since her parents found out she was a mage. They treated her awfully and neglected her, keeping her at home instead of turning her in to the Circle for Maker knows whatever reason. If a neighbor hadn't reported her to the templars..."

Anders sighed, shaking his head. "I took it upon myself to take care of her and protect her, seeing as how we had similar beginnings. We became close, and I always regretted leaving her behind after I got out. Karl too. I knew he'd take care of her in my place, but it wasn't enough to ease my conscience. Now she's alone, and about to suffer the same fate as Karl. I failed to save him, but I won't fail this time..." His voice trembled slightly as he spoke.

Fenris felt a strange discomfort at the mage's words, at his adoration for this woman, but brushed it aside. "It's suicidal, mage. All these foolish things you do with this mage underground is bound to get you killed. Are you really willing to take that chance?"

Anders looked at the elf angrily again, a hint of conviction in his eyes. "If I can do any good for these mistreated, persecuted mages I would gladly die for it!"

"You really are an idiot!" Fenris shouted. "You can't tell when someone is a blood mage, they look just like everyone else! Only they pose a greater threat than anyone! Are you willing to risk releasing a blood mage? And what about your comrades? What if they're blood mages trying to break their brethren out?"

Anders took a step forward, glaring at Fenris, but the elf stood his ground. "I trust the mages I associate with." he said sternly. "All they want is to live their lives freely and have the same rights as everyone else! If they can just have that, then mages wouldn't need blood magic! There are just as many dangerous people out there who aren't mages, if not more! So why are mages the ones targeted even if they've done nothing wrong? Plenty of people kill without using magic. Look at you, for example. You kill people yourself without needing some demon to make you do it. What's your excuse?"

That struck a chord, and what truly angered Fenris about it was that the mage didn't even think about the reason. He clenched his fists, the sharp points of his gauntlets threatening to pierce the skin of his palms. "I am fighting to protect myself, to save myself from Danarius! If I don't kill those damn slave hunters they would capture me and bring me back to him! What else am I supposed to do!?"

Anders folded his arms giving the elf an incredulous look. "Is that so? Well, what about being a mercenary for a living? The people you kill aren't trying to capture you."

Fenris looked away, a hint of shame on his face. "I...know nothing else. I have no memories of my past, so all I've known is what I was made to do as Danarius's slave and bodyguard. Fighting and killing are the only skills I have."

Anders slowly unfolded his arms, his expression softening. Now he felt like an ass. Perhaps he was as harsh on Fenris as the elf was on mages. They really couldn't understand each other it seemed. If they could, then maybe they wouldn't fight as much as they did. Maybe they wouldn't have hated each other for years. Maybe they could even...

Anders shook his head, pushing the thought aside. He looked at Fenris, his anger subsiding. "And all I've known is unfair treatment and persecution that I don't deserve. All I want is to do what I can for mages with what time I have left to live."

At the look of surprise and confusion on the elf's face at that last part, Anders realized he probably shouldn't have let that slip.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Fenris asked.

Anders looked down and turned away from the elf, walking forward a few steps. He folded his arms and held his chin as if contemplating something. After a moment, he turned back and walked up to the elf again, unfolding his arms. "Do you know how a Grey Warden becomes a Grey Warden?" he suddenly asked.

Fenris was caught off guard by the strange question. "Not really, no." he answered, unsure of what the question had to do with anything.

"They drink darkspawn blood and take the taint into themselves."

Fenris's eyes widened, he felt his stomach turn. "That...that's madness! Drinking darkspawn blood is suicide! It's no different from poison!"

"Not if they can survive it." Anders responded. "Surviving the Joining means becoming immune to the darkspawn's corruption; that's why Grey Wardens are the best at fighting them. But the immunity doesn't last forever. Eventually, the taint becomes too much for their bodies to handle. Eventually, it will kill the warden..."

Fenris stared at Anders in shock, unsure of what to say. He had never thought about what the price was for becoming a Grey Warden. It seemed the price was death. It was no wonder why the details of the order were kept secret. And the mage had just shared with him possibly the greatest one.

Anders turned to lean against the desk looking down, he didn't want to look at Fenris's face. If the elf showed any sign that he was unconcerned or uncaring of his plight, Anders felt it might actually hurt. He gripped the edge of the desk tightly, staring at the ground. "There comes a time in every Grey Warden's life when he reaches something known as the 'Calling'. They have terrible nightmares about darkspawn and the Deep Roads, worse than any other time in their life as a Grey Warden. That means their time has come. When that happens they go to Orzamar, to the Deep Roads, where they continue fighting darkspawn until they fall in battle. If they don't die, they eventually succumb to darkspawn corruption. They're barely even people anymore." he said softly.

Anders closed his eyes. "That is my fate as a Grey Warden, and if I'm lucky I have a little more than 20 years left at most. I want to spend what time I have left helping others instead of living selfishly. Justice was the one who convinced me it was the right thing to do. When I really started to think about it, I realized he was right. That's why I've taken on this mission. It's the only reason I have to live in this life that is doomed to end so miserably." It made Anders's heart ache to talk about his fate. He tried not to think about the future as best he could.

"Is that why you think no one can save you?" Fenris suddenly asked.

Anders turned to face the elf in surprise. "What? How do you-?"

"I told you, you talk in your sleep." Fenris responded. "I didn't understand what you meant by that, I thought it was just part of your bad dream, but I think I understand now." Actually, all of the things the mage talked about in his sleep made sense now. To his surprise, Fenris actually felt bad for Anders. He had no future to look forward to; his fate wasn't entirely uncertain, and it was a bleak one indeed. It almost made Fenris feel remorseful for some reason.

Fenris cleared his throat lightly, feeling awkward. "I'm...sorry to hear what you're going through. It really is an unfortunate fate. I don't think you deserve it."

At the look of somewhat amused surprise on Anders's face, Fenris grew agitated. "W-what? Don't give me that look! I'm not heartless, mage. I can feel sympathy too, you know!"

Anders give the elf a small smile, though it almost looked sad. "Even for someone you hate?"

Fenris glanced to the side, feeling a strange discomfort in his chest at that question. "Give me some credit, mage. I wouldn't wish that sort of fate on you simply because we're rivals." he muttered.

Fenris didn't like the awkward feeling in the atmosphere, it was becoming too uncomfortable. Wanting to change things, he suddenly moved closer to Anders taking hold of the back of his head and brought their faces closer together. "But if there's anything I don't hate about you, it's definitely the hot sex." He kissed Anders deeply, taking hold of the mage's hip then slid his hand behind him to grab his ass and gave it a little squeeze.

Anders groaned softly in the kiss pushing his hips against Fenris's. He gripped the elf's back, ignoring the sharp jab of his armor against his chest as they pressed their bodies together harder. They began making out more passionately, their arousal growing greater by the second.

Anders quickly broke out of the kiss and pushed Fenris away shaking his head. "No, stop." he panted softly.

Fenris frowned in disappointment. It had been more of a maneuver to try and change the subject, but maybe it was a bit too selfish. He had no idea how to be comforting, and it was difficult to be genuinely affectionate when he was unsure of how to do so. It was an awkward situation for a mistreated ex slave who had never been treated kindly.

"I have to go, they're waiting for me." Anders murmured, looking away from Fenris. Having nothing else to say, he turned and quickly walked to the clinic door. Anders grabbed the handle then hesitated. "Actually," he said quietly, not opening the door yet. "I'm not going to have time for this anymore. I think we should stop."

Fenris's jaw nearly dropped. "What?" he asked in disbelief.

Anders wouldn't face the elf, he felt he might lose his nerve if he did. "We had fun, but it was bound to end eventually. Don't worry, elf, you're pretty handsome, so you won't have any problem finding a new partner to satisfy that overly active sex drive of yours." Anders turned his head to glance over his shoulder with a little smirk, concealing his true feelings. "I'm sure Isabela would be happy to oblige."

Fenris frowned, not amused by the mage's joke. "You're mad if you think I'd stoop to that whore, mage."

Anders shrugged. "Well, like I said, you'll find someone easily I'm sure." He turned away again and opened the door. "Later, elf."

Without giving Fenris a chance to respond or object, Anders left and closed the door behind him. The elf stood alone feeling a mixture of surprise, frustration and confusion. Was the mage actually serious? Did he think to end things so easily? For months they had been in this physical relationship, spending more time together now than they had in the past three years combined. Now he was calling it off just like that? And the mage's sex drive was just as active as his own. He had some nerve implying Fenris was the only one.

But when he stopped to think about it, Fenris realized he came to Anders's place more than Anders went to his, and most of the time Fenris was the one to initiate the sex. He got a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, had the mage simply been obliging him all this time?

Fenris stared at the ground feeling anger overtake all other emotions. He didn't need a partner who was simply humoring him, he didn't need that annoying mage at all. He was perfectly capable of finding a much more suitable partner. After all, there were plenty of women he could bed, if he so desired. Fenris was well aware of his handsome appearance, and well aware of the number of women who had their eyes on him. All he had to do was find one that caught his interest.

Except no woman ever really caught Fenris's attention before. The mage had been the first and only person he ever desired since they first started having sex. He'd never even had an interest in sex before the first night they spent together, and now he desired it often.

Or was it Anders he desired?

Fenris sighed in exasperation, putting a hand over his face. He shook his head, feeling like he needed a drink. He wanted to be numb again. Perhaps he'd do it in the comfort of his own home, just to be safe.

Fenris walked to the door and swung it open, exiting the clinic without even bothering to shut it behind him. He left Darktown, heading for Hightown and his large, empty, lonely mansion.

* * *

It had been a few days since Fenris came around the clinic, and Anders had been too busy to go to the tavern where the group gathered to hang out. He hadn't seen Fenris at all in almost a week. Anders felt a little surprised the elf had actually listened to him about not coming anymore. Normally he'd pay no mind to anything the mage said; he seemed to be the one in charge in the relationship. Maybe Fenris didn't really care about ending things after all. Maybe the sexual relationship between them didn't matter to him as much as Anders had thought. Maybe he didn't matter to him. But if that were the case, why did Fenris get jealous over him at times? Perhaps Anders read into it too much. Maybe the elf saw him only as a possession, a toy he didn't want anyone else to play with. For some reason, Anders was both angered and saddened by the thought. Did he want to mean something more to Fenris?

No, that couldn't be. It was a foolish thought, and he didn't have time for such foolishness.

Anders sat at his desk working on his manifesto again. Ever since the dream with the desire demon he'd felt uncomfortable with it. The demon had known its contents, learned about it to use it in her attempt to deceive him, and Anders didn't like it. It felt unclean somehow, so he spent what free time he had rewriting it. It was pretty much the same message though, just worded differently with a few new additions.

While he was working, the door to the clinic opened. Anders finished the sentence he'd been writing then looked over to see who had entered. He stood quickly in surprise, nearly knocking over the chair he'd been sitting in.

Fenris stood in the doorway, but it wasn't the elf's presence that surprised Anders, it was his appearance. He had blood splattered on his clothes, though it obviously wasn't his, and his right thigh was poorly bandaged with a torn cloth. A large bloodstain was spread out on the front where the wound bled through. He had a slight limp as he walked in. "Little help here, mage?" he asked, trying to conceal the obvious pain he felt when he walked on his injured leg.

"What happened?" Anders asked, assisting the elf to a table where he had him sit so he could examine his thigh.

Fenris sat on the edge of the table with his legs hanging over the side while Anders began undoing his poor attempt at dressing the wound. "Bandits. I ran into a group on my way back from the Dalish camp. I didn't see the archer and got hit."

"What were you doing at the Dalish camp?" Anders asked, tearing Fenris's pants and widening the hole the arrow had caused so he could get a better look. It was caked in dried blood now and needed cleaning.

"I was running an errand for Varric. He ordered some special bolts for his crossbow from that craftsman and someone needed to go get them. Seeing as how I would have made better time walking there than the dwarf, I went for him." Fenris leaned back on his hands watching the mage as he went to work. Anders grabbed some material from a kit by the table and began cleaning the wound. Fenris winced at the sting from the cleaning solution, sucking air sharply through his teeth and making a hissing noise. When Anders puckered his lips to blow on the wound and soothe the burning, Fenris felt a small tingle of desire to feel the mage's lips comforting a different area of his body. He glanced aside and suppressed the feeling quickly, lest the urge he felt in his groin become obvious.

"I can't believe you were actually caught off-guard, elf. I expected better from you." Anders said with a playfully mocking tone. He finished cleaning the wound; the heavy bleeding was mostly over now.

Fenris shrugged. "He was concealed in a tree, and I was too distracted by the other three attacking me to notice him. Fortunately, though, I didn't have to worry about him after the first shot; the fool lost his balance and fell off the branch he'd been standing on. Broke his neck when he hit the ground."

Anders chuckled lightly. "You got lucky, elf. Unfortunately you weren't so lucky in removing the arrow." Now that the wound was clean, Anders was able to examine it more clearly. In Fenris's attempt to yank the arrow out, a part of it had broken off and was still embedded in his thigh. Anders looked at the wound with an expression of contemplation on his face. He started murmuring to himself, as if thinking out loud. "It's lodged about two or three inches below the surface, so if I numb the area then make an incision here to widen the opening, I could probably extract it using-"

"That will take forever, just let me do it." Fenris said impatiently. Anders blinked, looking back up at him in confusion. Without warning, Fenris's lyrium markings suddenly began glowing with a bright blue light. He slowly phased his fingers through his flesh and into his thigh. Using his thumb and forefinger to grip the broken shaft of the arrow, Fenris slowly pulled it out, gritting his teeth and letting out a grunt of pain. He yanked the blood soaked arrowhead from his thigh as the blue light faded and his hand became solid again.

"See? Easy." he said casually, tossing the broken piece aside. Despite his cool demeanor, his voice had a hint of pain in it.

"Well, that's one way of doing it." Anders remarked. "I'll finish it then." He put his hand over Fenris's wound and a ball of white blue light began glowing in the palm of his hand. Before he could apply the healing power to the injury, Fenris suddenly grabbed his wrist, catching the mage by surprise.

"Wait." the elf ordered.

Anders lost his concentration and the ball of light disappeared. "What?" he asked startled.

Fenris looked at Anders with a grim expression on his face, his hand still gripping the mage's wrist. "Treat it normally." he said sternly.

Anders looked at him in disbelief. "You're joking, it's just healing magic! You can't seriously-"

"I said no magic, mage." Fenris almost sounded angry now.

Anders narrowed his eyes. "Why did you come see me if you don't want me to heal you?"

Fenris stared at Anders for a moment in silence, then looked away with a frown. "I just...don't know anyone else who has any medical skill. That's all. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

Anders's expression softened as he looked at the elf's profile. That response didn't seem entirely true. Or that wasn't the only reason he came to his clinic, but Fenris wasn't good at being honest about his feelings. Anders let out a sigh then nodded. "Alright, but it's going to take longer to heal, and the pain will last longer as well."

Fenris released Anders's wrist. "I'll manage." he said bluntly.

Anders shook his head and took bandages out of his kit then began wrapping Fenris's wound. "You're really stubborn, elf. You're going to have to remember to take care of this or else it could get infected."

Just as Anders finished bandaging Fenris's leg, the elf grabbed the front of his coat and pulled him forward bringing his lips close to the mage's ear. "Perhaps I'll need a nurse to take care of me..." he murmured with a grin.

Anders swallowed hard, feeling Fenris's warm breath on his ear. He suppressed the shudder of excitement that deep, seductive voice caused. "Uh, I..."

Fenris suddenly wrapped his legs around Anders's waist and pulled the mage against him. He gripped a handful of sandy blonde hair and planted a deep, firm kiss on the mage's lips.

Anders was caught off guard by the elf's sudden action and became caught up in the kiss for a moment, the feel of those familiar lips igniting his desire. He felt the elf's tongue probe his lips and slip into his mouth brushing over his own tongue.

Suddenly, for the third time, Anders grabbed Fenris's shoulders and pulled back. "Wait, we can't."

Fenris frowned in frustration at being rejected yet again. "What now? Don't tell me you really planned on stopping our romps in the sheets, mage. Is it the location again? We'll just go in your room then."

Anders stepped back, making Fenris let go of him. "No, we can't go in there right now." There was a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Fenris slid himself off the table folding his arms and raised an eyebrow. "What, you have something to hide, mage? Don't tell me you've got yourself a woman in there or something."

Anders scratched the back of his head, glancing aside. "Uh, actually I-"

The sound of a door opening interrupted him and both men turned to look at the back of the clinic where Anders's room was. The board moved aside and Fenris's eyes widened slightly when a young woman stepped out, rubbing her eye sleepily. She looked as though she had just woken up.

She had a slightly dark complexion, a little lighter than Fenris's, with dark, wavy brown hair that hung to her mid back and big brown eyes. She looked a little younger than Anders, mid 20's or so, and was kind of short. But most noticeable to Fenris was that she wore the robe of a mage.

"I thought I heard voices." she said with a yawn.

Anders moved past Fenris and approached her. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you. How are you feeling?"

She brushed some of her dark hair back from her face. "I'm ok. I don't think I've slept so well since I was little."

Anders chuckled lightly. "Well, you were pretty exhausted. I guess last night got a little rough. Sorry about that."

The woman shook her head smiling. "No, it's ok. My bum kind of hurts, though."

The two laughed and Fenris simply stared. He felt a lump form in his throat that he couldn't seem to swallow down. The mage had actually found a new partner already. Or maybe he'd had her all along but was simply separated from her. And now that they were reunited, he didn't need Fenris anymore. This woman could only be one person.

Fenris cleared his throat, directing Anders's and the woman's attention back to him.

"Oh, right." Anders said, as though he'd actually forgotten about the elf. He walked the woman over to where Fenris was standing. "This is Fenris, he's another one of Hawke's comrades."

Fenris's fingers curled slowly, turning his hands into fists. It was an introduction worse than the first one he'd used. Worst of all, the mage seemed oblivious to the offense it caused him.

The young woman had to look up to meet Fenris's eyes due to their difference in height. Upon seeing her up close he had to admit she was lovely, but her looks couldn't distract him from his feelings of displeasure.

Anders put a hand on her shoulder. "And this is Lenora."

"I suspected as much." Fenris stated. His voice came out a little harsher than he meant.

There was a brief look of surprise in her eyes before she quickly smiled up at him. "I didn't know I was famous." Her voice had a hint of nervousness in it.

Fenris folded his arms. "A Circle mage breaking out of the Gallows would make anyone famous."

The nervousness she had tried to conceal surfaced and she glanced down wringing her hands anxiously. "I-I hadn't planned on it, really. Even when Karl told me about the plan to get out with Anders's help I declined. Of course I would have liked to, things are...difficult in the Circle. But I was too scared, so I decided to stay. The letters I received always helped give me some comfort, but those same letters were going to doom me to a life of Tranquility. It wasn't fair! I was going to be punished just because I was in love with someone. And worse yet Karl was gone. Having him with me like in the Ferelden Circle helped put me at ease because I had someone close to rely on. But then he...he..." She sniffled, tears forming in her eyes as her small body began to tremble. "I didn't want to end up like him! I didn't want to be Tranquil! I'd rather..."

Anders took her by the shoulders and turned her to him, looking down into her eyes. "You don't have to worry about that anymore, Lenora. You're safe now, ok? My clinic is the safest place for you for the time being, it's a good place to hide. I'll look out for you, just like I did in the Ferelden Circle. So don't worry anymore, ok?" He smiled warmly at her, resting his hand on her head and stroked it gently.

The sadness and nervousness in Lenora's eyes seemed to melt away at the mage's words. She nodded, wiping her eyes and her smile returned. "Thanks, Anders." She hugged him tightly with her head rested on his chest.

Fenris felt an unexplainable pang in his chest when he looked at the two being affectionate, but he wasn't sure if it was jealousy or envy. Being a slave, he was never shown kindness or any kind of affection like the two of them shared. The closest he ever got to affection in his current life was the after sex 'cuddling' with the mage, and he mostly slept through that part. The sex was pretty exhausting, after all. But now that this girl was here, there would be no more of that.

Fenris cleared his throat again, and for the second time was looked at as if his presence had been forgotten. "You know it's madness to harbor an escaped mage, right? They templars will be looking for her."

Anders turned to him folding his arms with a frown, the look of kindness disappearing from his face. "And they won't find her here." he responded, sounding sure of himself. "As long as everyone keeps their mouths shut, that is." he added pointedly.

The look in the mage's eyes implied that the person he was probably referring to was Fenris himself, and the elf felt anger at the unspoken accusation. Anders's past treatment and feelings towards the elf were beginning to filter through.

"If you've got something to say to me, mage, then say it." Fenris said sternly.

Anders shrugged his shoulders casually. "All I'm saying is you're the only one besides the underground who knows she's here, and none of them would say anything. If the templars showed up on my doorstep looking to take her back..."

Fenris clenched his fists in anger. "You think me some sort of snitch, mage?" he asked with a scowl.

Lenora looked between the two men worriedly. She took hold of Anders's sleeve and gave it a light tug. "A-Anders, you shouldn't accuse him like that. Why would he betray you? You're friends, right?"

Anders didn't take his eyes off Fenris. "I can't exactly say that, no. We're associated through mutual friends."

Fenris felt another pang in his chest.

Lenora's eyes flickered to Fenris then back to Anders. "But it's still unfair to him. Maybe you should have a little more faith."

Fenris couldn't help feeling irritated that the mage needed to be told by a complete stranger to trust him. For some reason, it almost hurt that he was being suspected in the first place.

Anders let out a soft sigh. "Maybe...but we have to be careful. After all, he hates mages."

Lenora looked back at Fenris with big eyes and took a step behind Anders looking almost frightened, possibly remembering the cruel treatment she received from her mage hating parents. It did nothing to help Fenris's growing anger, but his anger wasn't toward her.

Fenris's hand shot out and grabbed the front of Anders's coat, but the mage didn't so much as flinch. "Quit making me out to be a villain, mage!" he growled. "I have no reason to turn the girl in, so don't throw accusations around so carelessly!"

The tension in the air was growing, and Lenora fidgeted nervously. She gulped lightly, then tugged on Anders's coat again. "See? He said he won't say anything, so please, don't fight. Just give Fenris a chance." she pleaded. Lenora seemed to believe in Fenris more than Anders himself. And it infuriated him.

"I'm not cruel, mage." Fenris continued. "Besides, if you were caught harboring an escaped mage you'd be executed!"

Anders looked startled and Fenris nearly bit his tongue for letting that slip. His anger lessened and he released his grip on the mage's coat. The way he looked at Fenris was as if he was actually surprised that the elf didn't want him to be killed, and for some reason Fenris felt more annoyed by that than the accusation. In the past, he really wouldn't have cared. But now...

Fenris glanced aside, not wanting to see that expression anymore. "Don't get me wrong, I simply do not wish to cause Hawke any grief." he stated. "He likes you, for some reason, and I'd probably never hear the end of it if I got you killed."

Anders stared at Fenris for a moment with a scrutinizing look. "Right, of course." he said quietly. He hardly sounded convinced by the excuse, but he didn't pursue the matter.

An awkward moment of silence followed; no one knew what to say next. A loud grumbling sound suddenly cut through the tense atmosphere and the two men looked at Lenora. She quickly grabbed her stomach, her face turning red with embarrassment. "I...guess I'm a little hungry. I haven't eaten since supper last night." she laughed nervously.

Anders's smile returned. "Let's get you something to eat then. Now that you're up, I'm sure Andru and the others will want to see you."

Fenris took that as his cue to go, there was no reason for him to be there anymore. He turned away and began to limp out, silently cursing the pain from his wound that prevented him from moving faster.

"Wait, elf."

Fenris turned back at the sound of Anders's voice. The mage trotted up to him and held out a small jar. "Here, it's a balm for your wound. Since you won't just let me heal you at least use something to help yourself."

Fenris glanced down at the jar then back up at Anders. He was about to reject the mage's offer, but thought otherwise. He'd probably get a lecture or something if he said no. He slowly took the jar and noticed Anders seemed a little relieved. He'd probably been expecting some sort of resistance from the elf.

Fenris placed the jar in one of the pouches on his belt. "Fine, if it will keep you from nagging."

Anders folded his arms. "And be sure to actually take care of your wound. If you come back here with an infection I'll just amputate your leg."

Fenris snorted. "Hmmph, cut off my leg, mage, and I'll really shove my foot up your ass."

Lenora, having obviously heard the joke from where she was standing, grabbed her mouth trying to stifle her giggles, unsuccessfully. Anders turned his head to look over his shoulder at her and Fenris took the chance to lean in close to his ear and whispered, "Not that you aren't used to me shoving something up your ass..." He made sure to keep his face concealed from Lenora as he spoke, and gave the mage's earlobe and playful bite.

Anders's head whipped back to Fenris, his face turning red. He suddenly grabbed the elf's arm and started dragging him out of the clinic quickly. "E-excuse us a moment, Lenora."

Anders shut the door behind them and turned on Fenris, his face still flushed. "Are you mad? Don't do that sort of thing in front of other people!"

Fenris folded his arms looking at the mage with sharp eyes. "Is there a reason you don't want her to know about us?" Even though he asked, he already had an idea of what the answer was.

"It's just awkward." Anders said slowly, as if trying to make a point. "And besides, you're the one who doesn't want to be too open around others." he added.

That was true, and it made sense, but somehow the answer didn't satisfy Fenris. He wanted to hear it straight from the mage himself, if that woman was the reason he was simply tossing him aside like a toy he'd grown tired of playing with.

Anders sighed. "Look, I told you I don't have time for fooling around anymore. I have Lenora here now and I can't just screw with you anytime the mood hits you. Now, if there's nothing else, I really should get going. And you need to rest your leg, so just go home." He turned to walk away, but Fenris suddenly grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Blow me, mage."

Anders stood frozen in place for a moment, then slowly turned back to look at the elf. His face was blank, as if he had no idea what kind of expression he should have. "You can't be serious..."

Fenris gripped Anders's wrist and dragged him over to a dark corner backing him into it and blocked the mage in with his body. "Do it and I'll go." he said in a low voice.

If he could get that much, then he could go. Leaving now at the mage's order would mean he was obeying a command, just like when he was a slave. He knew it wasn't Anders's intention, but because of his past Fenris couldn't help the uneasy feeling it gave him. He didn't want to feel used, and he didn't want to just be pushed aside for another. It wasn't for the sexual gratification, if he could use the mage just once more then he could choose to walk away himself.

Even if it wasn't what he wanted.

Despite the dim lighting in the corner, Fenris could tell the mage's face was getting red again. "L-Lenora's waiting..." There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to or not. He actually seemed to be considering it.

Fenris hooked a finger around the chain on the front of Anders's coat and pulled him forward leaning down and kissing the mage's neck. He ran his tongue up to his ear and murmured, "Do a good job and I'll be quick."

Anders swallowed hard and stood silent for a moment as if thinking on the situation. He finally heaved a sigh of resignation. "Fine." he said in exasperation. "Maker, elf, you really are trouble."

Fenris didn't respond with words, but a deep, firm kiss, grabbing Anders behind the head and clutching his hair. He pressed his hips into the mage's and rubbed against him feeling the tingling desire return to his groin. Fenris let out a groan in the kiss when he felt the mage's hand reach between them and suddenly grasp his hardening manhood, fondling it through his pants.

Anders pulled back panting softly and pressed his face against Fenris's neck, sucking on it as he reached down the elf's pants and grasped his growing erection, stroking it roughly and making it grow bigger and harder in his hand. He got down on his knees and opened Fenris's pants, taking his dick out and gripped the base, giving the underside a long, slow lick drawing another sexy groan from the elf.

Anders stroked and pleasured the elf's hard erection with his hand and mouth, skillfully working both to heighten the other man's excitement. Fenris shuddered lightly, relishing the sensation of the warm tongue and soft lips he hadn't felt in almost a week. He rested his forehead against the wall and held the mage's head, watching as he licked and kissed his erection almost eagerly. Anders tilted his head, caressing the side of the elf's dick with his lips and curled his tongue along the bottom, running his tongue and lips up to the head. He wrapped his lips around the tip and teased it with his tongue.

Fenris licked his lips panting heavily then pulled Anders's hair to make him lean his head back and look up at him. "You seem awfully eager, mage. Did you miss sucking me off?" he asked with a teasing grin.

Anders's annoyed glare couldn't mask his embarrassment. "Shut up, elf! I'm just trying to be quick! Don't make me bite your-mmf!"

Fenris silenced Anders by pushing his dick deep into the mage's open mouth and began thrusting his hips groaning softly. "Mm...I wouldn't do that if I were you." he warned. "I might yell, people may come to see what's going on, including Lenora. I wonder what she'd think if she saw you sucking me off..."

Anders gripped Fenris's hips tightly letting out a little groan as the elf made him take his dick deep and hard. He did a good job of keeping his teeth to himself after that. Fenris eased up with his hips and allowed the mage to take him at his own pace. Anders took hold of the base of the elf's erection and started sucking him roughly and moving his head slowly at first, taking him deep into his mouth until the head pressed against the back of his throat. Fenris let out a moan of pleasure and closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of the mage's hot mouth enveloping his hard, throbbing dick.

Anders began moving his head faster and sucking harder, drawing more intense moans from Fenris. He gripped and stroked the base, moving and rubbing his tongue on the swollen member filling his mouth. Fenris's erection throbbed harder with excitement as his rising climax grew closer. He began thrusting his hips into the mage's mouth again, panting heavily. It felt like his dick was about to burst, but he struggled to hold it back, wanting to enjoy the feeling a little longer.

Finally, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm almost...ahhh!" Fenris pulled Anders's head all the way onto his dick and released everything down his throat. He shuddered from the intense waves of pleasure that gripped him. Anders gulped hard swallowing the entire load before sucking Fenris clean and slowly pulled back.

Anders panted heavily trying to catch his breath and stood, using his sleeve to wipe his mouth. "Well, feel better?" he asked breathlessly.

Fenris couldn't exactly say that, it didn't feel like enough to him. But there was no way the mage would go all the way with the girl waiting for him in the clinic. He simply shrugged his shoulders, not revealing his feelings. "It'll suffice, I suppose." he said with a smirk, tucking himself back into his pants. It wasn't what he really wanted to say, but the elf had trouble expressing himself sometimes. Without the aid of alcohol, at least.

Anders looked agitated and shook his head. "Honestly, elf, I think there's no satisfying that sex drive of yours." he muttered. He started to walk away, but seemed to experiencing some discomfort while walking. It wasn't hard to figure out what the problem was. Fenris suddenly grabbed his arm and yanked him back, shoving him back up against the wall and pinned him.

Anders looked at him startled. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up." Fenris ordered and buried his face against Anders's neck, sucking on his sensitive spot and reached down, grasping the bulge in the mage's pants and fondled it roughly. Anders let out a groan and grabbed Fenris's arms trying to push him back but the elf only became more persistent.

"W-wait..." Anders squirmed, but his struggling didn't last long. He gave in pretty easily to the elf's touch.

Fenris loosened the mage's pants and reached in grabbing his erection and pulled it out, stroking it hard. He grabbed Anders behind the head with his other hand and pressed his lips to the mage's, slipping his tongue in and deepening their kiss.

Anders moaned in the kiss as Fenris started jerking him off, giving his dick a squeeze and rubbing his thumb over the head. He could feel the semen starting to leak from the tip already. Fenris pulled out of the kiss slipping his tongue back out and whispered into Anders's ear, "Want me to make you come, mage?" He bit the lobe gently and flicked his tongue on the flesh between his teeth.

Anders panted and groaned softly, nodding his head with his eyes closed. "Hurry, I can't wait..." he pleaded.

Fenris ran his tongue over his lips feeling a shiver of excitement run through his body. He loved it when the mage begged. He got down on his knees gripping the base and ran his tongue over the tip tasting the mage's semen. Fenris wrapped his lips around the head and sucked on it while stroking the shaft.

Anders let out a groan leaning his head back and held Fenris's head, burying his fingers in his soft, white hair. Fenris went down farther on the mage drawing another soft moan from his lips. He began moving his head and Anders's squirmed slightly, moving his hips to the elf's slow, steady rhythm. As Fenris began going faster, he heard the mage groan again, but this one sounded muffled. He lifted his eyes to see Anders's lips pressed together as if trying to stifle his sounds of pleasure.

Fenris wouldn't allow it.

He picked up the speed and pressed his lips tighter, hearing a louder muffled moan. He could feel the mage's erection pulsing harder, indicating he was getting close already. Fenris suddenly squeezed the base and heard the mage let out a gasp.

"Ah!" Anders gripped Fenris's hair tightly and hunched over. "Bastard...!" he growled through clenched teeth.

Fenris almost grinned around the mage's dick as he continued to pleasure it while suppressing the growing climax. He gave a tighter squeeze and heard Anders finally let out a loud moan.

"L-let go..." Anders panted heavily. "I'm coming!" He stopped stifling himself and let his sweet voice out as his moans grew more intense.

Fenris finally granted the mage mercy and released his dick just as the mage let out a cry of pleasure and came inside Fenris's mouth. His hot semen spilled down the elf's throat as Fenris swallowed it all. He sucked Anders clean and slowly pulled back, licking his lips. Fenris looked back up at Anders and grinned mischievously. "Seems like you missed getting sucked off almost as much as you missed sucking me off, mage."

"Shut up, elf." Anders muttered, still trying to catch his breath.

Fenris put the mage's softening dick away and stood, putting a hand on the wall next to Anders's head and leaned in close taking hold of his chin with his other hand. "You can't seriously want to stop this..." he said, tilting his head and leaning in to kiss Anders.

Anders suddenly turned his head away from Fenris, preventing the kiss. "I have to go. We've been out here too long as it is." he said, closing his pants up again.

Fenris scowled lightly at being denied, but stepped aside to let the mage pass. He stood facing away as Anders walked by. The mage halted and they stood with their backs to each other, standing in silence. It seemed like Anders wanted to say something but wasn't sure how.

"It's not that I don't enjoy it anymore or anything like that," he finally said. "but with Lenora here I'm going to be busy taking care of her."

Fenris didn't care for that phrasing.

Anders turned to face Fenris but the elf kept his back to him. The mage hesitated a moment before speaking again. "This shouldn't have started to begin with..." he said softly.

Fenris's eyes widened slightly, he felt a chill through his body at those words. Did the mage regret having anything to do with him? And why did it even matter to him? If he and Anders didn't really like each other and merely screwed around for fun, why did Fenris not want to let go? What was it that he wanted to hold on to exactly? The chill in his body left him longing for the feeling of warm arms wrapped around him. Maybe what he really wanted was...

"Are you listening, elf?"

Fenris was startled from his thoughts and turned around to face Anders. The mage eyed him for a moment. "Did you hear me?" he asked.

Fenris hadn't even realized he was still talking. He didn't want Anders to know the discomfort he was feeling from his words. He simply shrugged his shoulders casually, giving the mage a small smirk. "The things you say are so uninteresting I tend to tune you out sometimes." he lied.

Anders heaved a sigh putting a hand over his face and shook his head. "I don't know why I bother. I should probably just let that leg rot off."

It took Fenris a moment to remember the throbbing pain in his thigh. He had been too distracted by a different, more enjoyable feeling to notice it. "What about it?" he asked.

Anders folded his arms. "I said to use that balm often, it'll help. Let me take another look at it in a few days or so."

Fenris placed a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were going to be too busy for me."

Anders shrugged lightly. "More like too busy to satisfy that insatiable sexual appetite of yours. I feel like if you could screw me 24 hours a day you probably would."

Fenris ignored his pain and moved forward, looking down into Anders's eyes. He lifted the mage's chin bringing his face close. "And who is the cause of my insatiable hunger?" he murmured, bringing their lips close together. He could feel the mage's warm breath against his lips as he took shallow breaths. Fenris heard Anders swallow hard and was about to plant another kiss on him when the sound of a door opening startled them both and Anders jerked away from him.

Fenris nearly cursed out loud in frustration.

Lenora carefully poked her head out and looked at the two men with a hint of concern on her face. "Is everything ok?" she asked cautiously. Anders's remark about Fenris hating mages must have left an impression on her if she was so nervous about them being alone for an extended period of time. It caused Fenris some irritation, but it was more at the mage than her for saying anything in the first place.

Anders looked at her and gave her a reassuring smile. "Everything's fine, we're just talking." he answered. Lenora looked visibly relieved at his words and smiled again.

"Actually, he was giving me a blowjob." Fenris remarked nonchalantly, as if it were a normal thing to say.

"Fenris!" Anders shouted looking back at the elf, his face turning red again.

Lenora gave a visible start, her big brown eyes going wide for a moment as she stared at Fenris in surprise. She pursed her lips together, the corners of her mouth twitching, then grabbed her mouth and burst into a giggling fit.

Anders sighed heavily, closing his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose shaking his head.

After a few moments, Lenora finally calmed down enough to talk again and took some breaths. "He's funny, Anders. He's kind of like you."

"No, he's not!"/"No, I'm not!"

Lenora only giggled harder at their shouts of unison. "You're so compatible. Are you sure you're not friends?" she asked with a playful smile.

"Lenora!" Anders admonished.

The feelings of nervousness she seemed to feel toward Fenris earlier appeared to have dissipated already. Somehow Fenris couldn't bring himself to really dislike this woman. She seemed happy and kind for someone who endured years of hardship, and was even friendly and understanding toward a stranger who was said to hate her kind. But most importantly, she was someone who made the mage happy. She was everything Fenris wasn't.

"Lenora, go back inside where you can't be troublesome." Anders ordered with a playful tone in his voice. "I'll be in there in a minute."

Lenora nodded to him then looked over at Fenris. "Bye, Fenris, it was nice meeting you." she said with a genuine smile.

She was even cuter when she smiled so sweetly, and it made Fenris feel awkward. After his earlier behavior, her politeness and kind nature made him feel like some kind of rude brute. "Yes, uh, nice to meet you too." he replied, feeling a little embarrassed.

There seemed to be a flicker of happiness in her eyes at the returned pleasantry before she turned and went back into the clinic.

Anders had a faint smile on his face as he shook his head looking at the door she had gone through. When he looked back at Fenris it faded. They stood in silence now, neither one sure of what to say next.

"Well, I better get going." Anders finally said. "Just make sure to take care of your wound."

He turned away from Fenris again and the elf felt his muscles tensing with a strange sense of dismay that he didn't understand. There was a tightness in his chest as he stared at the mage's back, knowing he was being left behind again like that time in Seheron. Except this time, he didn't want to be left behind.

Before he realized what he was doing, Fenris suddenly reached out and grabbed Anders's coat sleeve. He surprised himself with this act, and wasn't sure what to say when the mage turned around to look at him.

"What?" Anders asked expectantly.

Fenris froze in indecision. What could he say? He wasn't good at revealing his feelings, and he felt foolish that he was even bothered at all. But he was. How could he tell the mage this? And what would he think of it?

The uncomfortable feeling in Fenris's chest began growing, so much that it was starting to ache. He hung his head, clutching Anders's sleeve. "I-I...this pain..." he said hesitantly. "I can't...take it..." he finally managed to force out. Was he being too selfish? But sex with the mage was the only thing that brought him a sense of comfort he'd never really experienced before. Being wrapped up in an embrace of pleasure, lost in ecstasy, he found himself forgetting his past pain and present troubles when he became absorbed by those passionate kisses and warm touch. After all he'd been through, didn't he deserve something?

But even if he was being selfish, there was something he definitely wasn't being: himself. What had become of him over these past few months? Fenris couldn't even look at Anders as he awaited the mage's response.

"Why didn't you just say so?" Anders asked with a sigh. "Honestly, elf, you need to be more honest."

Fenris looked up quickly, somewhat surprised. He'd been expecting some sort of annoying remark about being needy or too sexually obsessed. Did the mage understand his feelings after all? He almost felt a sense of relief.

"If it's too painful, then just let me heal it."

Fenris blinked and let go of Anders's sleeve. "What?" he asked in confusion, his relief quickly vanishing.

"If your wound is hurting too much then let me use healing magic on it. Things will be much easier that way." Anders said.

Fenris simply stared at the mage in stunned silence. Of course he misunderstood, it would have been too easy otherwise. Now he felt even more like a fool. He never should have said anything in the first place. He should have just walked away, he should have just let go. There was no point in clearing up the misunderstanding, the mage had moved on.

Now it was his turn to do so as well.

"That is what you meant, isn't it?" Anders asked, a look of doubt starting to show in his eyes.

Fenris had to come up with an answer before Anders grew suspicious. If he told the mage it wasn't what he was talking about then he would have to explain and make a bigger fool of himself. But if he confirmed Anders's thoughts, it meant the mage would use magic on him. The elf had two choices: tell the mage what he really meant and reveal his feelings, or be touched by the thing he hated most.

Fenris hated complications.

"Yes, it was." he finally said. "It would be...difficult, fighting with a wound like this. I cannot have my performance in battle compromised." It wasn't a complete lie, the pain did make it difficult for him to move. He relied on speed as well as strength, and one would not be as effective without the other.

Anders studied Fenris for a moment, then nodded and walked forward. "Alright, just relax. Don't think of it as magic, think of it as fast acting medicine that heals almost instantly."

"Just shut up and do it, mage." Fenris muttered in irritation.

He became tense when Anders approached and the mage hesitated a moment, then reached forward and wrapped an arm around the elf's back pulling him against himself. Fenris swallowed, but allowed the comforting embrace and grasped the mage's sides. He felt childish for being so nervous over simple healing magic, ridiculous even. It wasn't the evil blood magic that had left its scars on his mind and memories, and this wasn't a wicked blood mage who sold his soul to a demon for power. It was just the annoying mage that Hawke liked having around for some reason and proved to be useful every now and then. Fenris closed his eyes and pressed his face against the mage's shoulder.

That's right, it's just Anders.

While still holding Fenris with one arm, Anders placed the hand of his other arm over the elf's injured thigh and the white blue ball of light began to glow in his palm. Fenris felt the soothing warmth of the healing light on his wound and felt the pain starting to subside. The warmth covered his entire right thigh, and Fenris could even feel the wound starting to close up. His tense muscles slowly relaxed and he felt a sense of relief when the warmth faded almost as quickly as it had appeared. It was over sooner than he thought.

The light disappeared from Anders's hand and he stepped back removing his arm from around Fenris. "How does it feel?"

Fenris shifted his weight to his right leg and put pressure on it, finding he felt no pain in his thigh when he did so. "It feels fine."

"Well, it was a small wound so it was quick and easy to heal."

Fenris cleared his throat. "Thanks, mage..."

Now they stood in awkward silence again. Departing was never this difficult before, there was always the assurance that they'd meet again every time. But now that the assurance wasn't there anymore, Fenris felt insecure. In the beginning of their adventures, all he wanted was to get away from the mage, but now that he'd grown accustomed to his constant presence, it felt strange having to go back to his solitary lifestyle. He was hardly alone anymore, not like before when he kept mostly to himself and only associated with the others for missions and the occasional game night. He really wasn't himself anymore, and it felt completely wrong.

Anders finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "I have to get going, for real this time. Tell Varric 'hi' for me."

Fenris had forgotten he was supposed to go to the Hanged Man to deliver the dwarf's bolts for his crossbow. It was a good thing the mage reminded him, it would have been irritating to head all the way to his mansion in Hightown just to discover he'd have to go all the way back to Lowtown to deliver them.

"If I must." Fenris said with a sigh, as if it were some sort of bother. He hid his childish insecurity behind playful sarcasm. Anders rolled his eyes and turned to walk away, but Fenris didn't stop him this time.

"Bye, elf." Anders said without looking back. He walked back to the door and entered the clinic, leaving Fenris alone again.

Fenris let out a soft sigh then walked away, heading to Darktown's exit. Maybe he was over thinking things. He always got by on his own just fine before, all he needed to do was get back into the normal state of things and everything would be fine again. Surely these foolish attachment issues would pass. But if worse came to worse, as the mage had said, he'd have no difficulty finding a new partner.

Perhaps he would test the waters after all.

* * *

When Fenris entered Varric's quarters the dwarf was sitting at his table working intently on something he was writing and didn't notice the elf's arrival. He stared at the page for a moment, then frowned with dissatisfaction and scratched out what he had written. He looked deep in thought for a moment, then wrote something new and smiled, looking satisfied with the change.

Fenris approached the table and reached behind his back grabbing a neatly wrapped bundle that had been tucked into his belt. "Got your order, dwarf." he said, startling Varric.

Varric jumped then looked up at Fenris. "Great Ancestors, Elf! Don't sneak up on-" He stopped mid-sentence upon noticing Fenris's bandaged leg. "Whoa, what happened? Are you ok?" he asked with concern.

Fenris looked down at his thigh, he hadn't removed the bandage yet. He looked back at Varric and shrugged. "It's fine. I got attacked by bandits on the way back to Kirkwall, but the mage took care of my wound. I just forgot to take the bandage off."

Varric put the story he was writing away in a small chest and set it aside. "Shit, Elf. I didn't think you'd get-" Again, Varric stopped in mid-sentence, processing what Fenris had just said. He sat back in his chair raising his eyebrows in exaggerated surprise. "You let Blondie heal you? Wow, you really have warmed up to him."

Fenris became slightly flustered and tossed Varric the bundle of bolts. "Don't be foolish, dwarf! I just...the pain was a hindrance! Some of us actually move around in battle instead of standing in one spot pulling a trigger, you know."

Varric chuckled, unaffected by the elf's words, and caught the bundle. He grinned playfully at Fenris. "Relax, Elf, I'm just messing with you. I knew there was a good reason for it..." His tone, however, suggested subtle sarcasm. He wasn't fully buying the elf's claims.

"Anyway," he said, unwrapping the bolts and examining them. "Thanks for the help. As promised, I'll go ahead and drop the coin you owe me so we're even." He reached down over the side of his chair and picked up his crossbow which was leaning against it. "Bianca says 'thank you', too."

Fenris looked at the crossbow Varric placed on the table. "Your crossbow is...thanking me?"

Varric looked up at him smiling. "Of course, she's not rude you know!" he chuckled softly. He could never resist bullshitting others. It was probably due to his storyteller personality. Most of the stories he told held little to no truth in them, and his fabrications often made their way into normal conversation.

Fenris shook his head lightly and walked over to the table taking a seat near the end close to Varric. "You're welcome, Bianca." he responded, humoring the dwarf.

Varric looked up from loading the bolts into Bianca. "You sticking around?"

Fenris shrugged. "Is it a problem?"

Varric shook his head. "Not at all, I'm just a little surprised. You usually keep to yourself and all."

"I know, I just...feel like talking to someone." Fenris kept his eyes down, watching Varric load his crossbow. He didn't usually have 'talks' with the others, and it felt too awkward to look at the dwarf directly.

Varric smiled as he loaded the last bolt into Bianca. "Really? I'm honored you'd come talk to me, Elf."

"I don't know where Hawke is."

"Well, I _was_ honored..." Varric mumbled.

Fenris gave the dwarf a small smile. "I'm kidding."

Varric chuckled softly setting Bianca back down on the floor leaning against his chair again. "Yeah, you seem to do that a little more often than usual now."

Fenris furrowed his eyebrows looking puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Varric gave a light shrug leaning forward and placed his arms on the table, interlacing his fingers. "Well, since you and Blondie became...'friends'...you have a better attitude than before. You're not nearly as broody."

"I don't brood."

Varric grinned playfully. "Not anymore. Guess all that uh, attention, puts you in a good mood."

Fenris started to push up from his seat. "Alright, I'm leaving."

"Sit down, I'm just messing with you, Elf!" Varric laughed. Fenris settled back into his seat and Varric took on a more serious tone. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

Fenris wasn't entirely sure where to start. Deciding to talk was sort of a spur of the moment idea. It'd probably be best to start with the main thing that bothered him. "Actually, the 'attention' giving is pretty much over."

Varric looked serious, a rare occurrence. "What? What happened?"

"Well, have you heard about the young mage woman who escaped the Gallows?" Fenris asked.

"Elf, with my spy network I know about things _before_ they happen."

Fenris chuckled lightly then looked down as he continued. "Well, her name is Lenora. She was a Ferelden mage who was sent to Kirkwall. She was going to be made Tranquil because of some love letters that were discovered in her belongings. It was meant to prevent her from trying to escape the Circle to be with the person she was exchanging the letters with, though she hadn't actually planned on it."

Varric looked taken aback by the elf's information. "How do you know all that? I don't even have all those details."

Fenris looked back up at Varric. "Because she is a friend of the mage, and he told me about her. They were in the Ferelden Circle together when they were younger and were...close. She's with him now."

"Oh." Varric said, leaning back in his chair. "I see..." He seemed to be putting the pieces together, and for some reason looked unhappy about the matter. "Then he and his buddies were the ones that broke her out last night. I heard it'd been a close call, but they made it out ok."

They had just broken her out the night before and the two of them had sex on the same night? No wonder she had been so tired. And the mage called Fenris's sex drive overactive. He frowned deeply and Varric seemed to sense the elf's displeasure.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked.

Fenris had expected a more joking tone in the dwarf's voice, but Varric had asked the question seriously. He was actually feeling bad for him. Did Fenris look that bothered over the matter? The elf shook his head. "No, I just...it was a bit unexpected is all." That wasn't the entire truth. If he wanted to really talk with the dwarf he'd need to say more.

Fenris adjusted himself in his seat, feeling uncomfortable, but it wasn't his sitting position that was causing his discomfort. "Actually, I'm not sure what I feel exactly. It's difficult to say. How does one understand things they never felt before?"

Varric took a deep breath then let it out through his nose. He steepled his fingers together and looked deep in thought, as if trying to figure out what to say. "Sometimes, we just can't make sense of things, Elf. The mind is a tricky thing, and not everyone can figure out how it works. When you try to hide or suppress your feelings, even the ones you don't understand, it can really mess you up and confuse you. And it's worse when you feel something for someone..." Varric stared straight ahead, a distant look in his eyes as if his mind was on something, or someone, else. Fenris got the feeling Varric wasn't talking about his situation.

"Who is Bianca?"

Varric looked at Fenris, seeming startled by the sudden question. He quickly hid behind a playful smile and reached beside his chair to pat his crossbow. "Come on, Elf, don't tell me you forgot about Bianca already. You'll hurt her feelings!"

Fenris simply looked at Varric with a serious expression and the dwarf sighed quietly, losing his smile. "Not today, Elf. Someday, maybe, but not today."

Fenris nodded. "I understand."

Varric gave the elf a smile of gratitude. "Thanks, Fenris." He rarely used real names with anyone he had given a nickname to. It was a sign of how serious he was at the moment. "So," Varric continued, changing the subject. "what about you? What are your feelings?"

Fenris looked down, an expression of discomfort and indecision on his face. He wanted to explain things, but he wasn't sure how. Plus it was an awkward feeling telling the dwarf about his emotions. His inhibitions were a burden to him sometimes.

Varric smiled, sensing Fenris's difficulty, and grabbed a cup and bottle of whiskey that was sitting on the table. "How about a drink, Elf? That usually helps relax you." He poured a cup and held it out toward the elf.

Fenris held up a hand and shook his head. "No, thanks. I'm good."

Varric shrugged and brought the cup to his lips starting to take a sip.

"Besides, if I get too drunk I might wake up in bed with you next."

In mid-swallow and mid-sip, Varric's eyes widened and he spit out his drink, dropping the cup and spilling its contents on the table. He began coughing and gasping for breath, and Fenris couldn't help a small grin of amusement.

"Holy shit, Elf! Don't do that to me!" Varric cried hitting his fist against his chest and coughed again.

Fenris chuckled lightly as a woman walked up to the table and began cleaning up Varric's mess. The dwarf finally caught his breath and looked up at her. "Sorry about that, Edwina. I-" He stopped short, staring at the woman. It wasn't Edwina.

She had medium length hair that was a golden orange color and hung in loose curls. A light speckling of freckles dotted the area below jade green eyes and across her nose. Red painted lips stood out in contrast to her pale skin. The low neckline of her dark green dress revealed ample cleavage of her perky breasts.

Varric stared at her for a moment, his mouth open, before he regained himself; he quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry. I was expecting Edwina."

The woman smiled sweetly. "Edwina's sick, I'm taking over her shift for her until she gets better." she replied, speaking with a thick Kirkwall accent. "I'm her cousin, Anna. But some folks call me Ginger."

"Because of your red hair?" Varric asked.

Anna gave a little shrug of her shoulders. "That...and because I'm so sweet." She giggled with a playful smile on her red lips.

"I bet you are..." Varric murmured with a little grin and a distracted look on his face. He quickly cleared his throat and regained his senses once more. "Uh, anyway, sorry about the mess."

She finished cleaning the table off with a towel. "No worries, hon. My shift's just about over and it's the last mess of the day. I'm quite grateful it's not urine or vomit."

Varric chuckled. "Glad I could make your day. I'm Varric, by the way."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard a good bit about you." Anna grinned lightly at him.

"If it's anything bad, it's a lie." Varric said quickly.

Anna chuckled then looked over at Fenris. "And this is?"

Fenris didn't seem to be paying attention. He sat with his elbows on the table and his fingers laced together. He had the lower half of his face rested against his hands and was looking down at the table. He didn't seem all that interested in joining the conversation.

Varric looked at the elf with a frown then spoke up, his voice a little loud. "This is Broody, the elf. You'll have to excuse him, he tends to have brooding fits when he's sad."

Fenris lifted his head and cast a glare at the dwarf. "I don't brood." he said sternly. That probably did count as brooding though, but he wasn't going to admit it. He looked up at Anna finally. "It's Fenris."

She gave him a charming smile. "Nice to meet you, too. You look a little troubled, something wrong?"

Fenris glanced to the side. "It...it's nothing. No need to be concerned." he murmured. If talking to his own companions was difficult, then talking to a complete stranger would probably be even harder.

Though she still had a smile on her face, there was a momentary look of curious concern in her eyes. For a moment, she almost seemed to be reading him. It passed quickly though and she nodded, her playful mannerism returning. "Alright, sorry to bug you, hon. Anyway, I better get going. It's Nella's turn to deal with these drunk perverts. But if you need anything, anything at all, just let me know." Though she looked at both men, her gaze lingered longer on Fenris.

Varric looked at her puzzled. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

Anna gave him a little grin. "Yeah, but I don't have to stop...servicing, outside of the tavern."

Varric gulped lightly, his face turning slightly flushed. "Uh, g-good to know." he said with a hint of awkwardness in his voice. He adjusted himself in his seat, seeming to press his thighs more firmly together. "A-anyway, it was nice meeting you."

"Nice to meet you too, darling." She looked over at Fenris. "A real pleasure."

Fenris got a strange feeling under her not so subtle gaze; it felt as if those jade eyes were looking right through him, into him. He simply nodded to her, a stoic look on his face. "Likewise."

Anna watched him for a short moment, the serious look briefly returning to her eyes. She then turned and started to leave. "Hope to see you boys again soon." she called back. She had a little sway in her hips as she walked away, drawing attention to her nicely shaped bottom.

Varric stared after her for a moment then shook his head trying to keep his mind clear of inappropriate thoughts. He caught everything that was there in her words, and who it was really directed at. Not that he minded, but he wished she hadn't been so...intriguing. He finally looked back at Fenris to see the elf's reaction.

Fenris's eyes were cast toward the doorway where she had walked out. His face had no expression, but his eyes held a hint of mild curiosity. Varric couldn't help finding it amusing and decided to have some fun at the elf's expense. He folded his arms and looked at Fenris expectantly. "Well?"

Fenris looked back at the dwarf. "What?"

Varric motioned to the door with his head. "What are you waiting for? Get going!"

Fenris blinked. "What? You...want me to leave?"

Varric smacked his hand over his face. "Come on, Elf. You'd have to be blind to not see that girl was completely interested in you! She obviously wants you to follow her. It's crazy to ignore a babe like that!"

Fenris folded his arms. "If you find her so attractive, why don't you go for it?"

Varric feigned some surprise. "What kind of guy do you take me for? I'm a one woman kind of man, Elf! And Bianca gets very jealous."

"You know, you can't have sex with a crossbow, Varric."

Varric shrugged. "You just have to be creative."

Fenris just stared at him. "I...did not need to hear that." he muttered.

Varric snickered mischievously, but it was cut short when Fenris suddenly stood up. "What, did I scare you off, Elf?" he asked.

Fenris walked away from the table without looking back at Varric. "No, I think I'm in the mood for something sweet..."

Varric's jaw dropped in surprise as he stared at the elf's back. He hadn't thought Fenris would actually go for it. In fact, he had been joking because he was almost certain the elf would brush the matter off. Varric was starting to get a bad feeling about this, and he didn't like getting bad feelings.

"By the way, the mage says 'hi'." Fenris stated before exiting Varric's room and leaving the stunned dwarf sitting slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

"Shit, maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Varric murmured to himself. "If Blondie and Elf both get themselves women, then..."

Even if feelings weren't involved, the sex between Anders and Fenris was the only thing that quelled the animosity between them. Despite still arguing over matters that they had differing views on, everyone knew it always ended the same way. For years the rivalry between the two men caused Hawke grief because two of his closest friends didn't get along, and he often had to get in the middle before things turned violent. He was finally getting a break from all the tension, but now...

Varric put a hand over his face letting out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his chair. What was going to happen now? Would things remain slightly civil between them, or go back to the way they were before? Varric hated not knowing the answer. There was nothing to do but wait and see how things turned out.

But he had a feeling they wouldn't be good.

{*}

After saying her good byes to Corff and the other tavern staff, Anna headed to the door and grabbed the handle, about to open it. Suddenly, a hand covered in a silver gauntlet shot past her from behind and was planted firmly against the door, preventing her from opening it. She turned her head in surprise and met a pair of light green, almond shaped eyes.

Fenris leaned over Anna looking down at her. "Need an escort?" he asked in a low voice.

Anna blinked, looking up at him with a startled expression as if she hadn't been expecting him. Then a flirtatious smile spread across her soft red lips. "Why, I believe I do need an escort."

Fenris opened the door for her. "Ladies first..." he grinned lightly with a mischievous look in his eyes.

Anna chuckled softly and sauntered out. "Mm, such a gentleman..." she said with a sultry tone.

The elf followed her out and shut the door to the tavern behind him.

* * *

Fenris lay on his back in bed with one bare arm under his head and the other on his stomach. His armor was off and his vest undone. He lay staring up at the bedroom ceiling.

But it wasn't his own bedroom he was in.

Anna positioned herself down by Fenris's hips and worked his pants open removing his half erect manhood. She ran her tongue over the head then began licking and kissing the shaft all over, causing it to grow thicker and harder. She slid her warm wet tongue along the shaft from base to tip then wrapped her soft lips around the top, swirling her tongue around the head.

Fenris closed his eyes and took a deep breath letting it back out with a little groan. He reached down with the hand that was on his stomach and held Anna's head as she went down on his erection and took it all the way into her mouth. She began moving her head slowly with a steady rhythm taking him deep, her soft lips wrapped tightly around Fenris's hard dick. Her mouth seemed to be smaller than the mage's, making for a more snug, pleasurable fit.

Fenris groaned softly and arched his back letting out soft pants as she began picking up speed, creating greater friction from her tight mouth. Her long curly hair hung down over her shoulders and head brushing on the skin of his abdomen and creating a tickling sensation each time she moved her head up and down. Fenris's excitement grew and he removed the hand from beneath his head and grasped her hair with both hands. His moans grew more intense and he leaned his head back closing his eyes and savoring the sweet sensation of her hot, tight mouth. He licked his lips and gripped her hair, gently making her move faster, being careful not to get too rough with her like he was with the mage. She sucked lightly, her warm wet tongue pressed tightly against the hard throbbing base.

After a few moments, Anna suddenly pulled up and released Fenris's dick without finishing him off. Fenris opened his eyes and he picked up his head quickly to look at her, but before he could say anything she turned around swinging a leg over him and positioned herself so her lower body was over his face. She reached down between her legs and spread the wet, pink flesh of her pussy that was on the verge of dripping. "Lick me," she pleaded with a sexy voice. "use your tongue on my pussy."

Well, this was new.

Fenris blinked and stared up at the soft pink lips and clitoris in an almost clueless manner. He hadn't thought about how oral sex was done on a woman. Her somewhat vague instructions was all he had to go on. As Anna got back to work on sucking him off, Fenris leaned in and ran his tongue between her wet pussy lips, spreading them with his thumbs and flicking his tongue on the clit. He rubbed and pressed his tongue on it then sucked it lightly, eliciting a soft groan of pleasure from her that he could actually feel on his dick. The sensation caused him to let out a moan and he started sucking on her clit harder upon discovering the pleasure it created.

Fenris inserted one of the thumbs he was spreading her pussy with deep into her hole, feeling the wetness of her insides. The more he pleasured and played with it, the wetter her pussy became as the clear juices began to drip from her hole. It flowed down onto his tongue and he licked it up, finding it tasted different from the mage's semen.

Fenris inwardly scolded himself for thinking of the mage at a time like this.

Anna distracted him from his thoughts when she once again stopped sucking his dick before his climax, and once again surprised him with a new trick he'd never experienced before as she wrapped her large, soft breasts around his wet, throbbing dick and began rubbing them up and down the entire length of his erection. Fenris leaned his head back moaning but continued fingering her hot wet pussy as her moans grew louder. She bent her head down and sucked the tip of his dick while roughly stroking it with her breasts.

Fenris felt light-headed as his climax grew closer. He slid his finger back out of her pussy and shoved his tongue in in its place. She moaned and panted moving her hips and pressing down onto his tongue and lips. He could tell she was getting close as well. Fenris pushed his tongue in deeply, moving it around while stimulating her clitoris with his thumb. His dick throbbed with its oncoming orgasm and he began thrusting his hips with her movements. Fenris's muscles grew tense and he let out a moan of pleasure, coming hard in Anna's mouth. She immediately swallowed the whole load and continued her own moans and groans of ecstasy as she rocked her hips harder.

She pulled up from Fenris's dick trying to catch her breath between moans. "I'm coming! I'm co-ahhh!" She threw her head back with a cry of pleasure upon reaching her own orgasm, her small body shuddered and trembled as it was racked with pleasure. Fenris pulled his tongue out and laid his head back closing his eyes and panting heavily as Anna rested her own head on his thigh. The two lay in silence for a moment and tried to catch their breaths.

After a brief rest, Anna pushed herself up and crawled forward lifting her hips in the air and looked back to Fenris. "Hurry," she said anxiously. "I can't wait anymore, put it in me." She spread her legs invitingly, fully revealing her wet pussy.

Fenris got up on his knees behind her starting to pull his pants down, then remembered the bandage wrapped around his thigh which kept them from going any further. Too impatient to deal with the matter, he settled for simply pushing them down far enough to be out of the way. As he took hold of Anna's voluptuous hips and began to position himself, the memory of another voice surfaced in his mind.

_"Don't tease me, elf..." _it pleaded impatiently_. "Hurry up and give it to me..."_

Fenris closed his eyes trying to push the memory out of his mind, then shoved his dick all the way inside of Anna. She let out a combined gasp of surprise and moan of pleasure but made no complaints about the abrupt action. Fenris moaned softly and began thrusting slowly at first, getting a good feel of her pussy. The differences felt amazing. Her hot insides were wet and slick, making his dick slide more easily. Her soft inner muscles were snug and almost felt cushiony in comparison to the inside of the mage's ass. Fenris felt them squeeze and contract each time he pushed into her and began thrusting his hips faster, gripping her hips tightly.

Anna panted and groaned with pleasure, her supple breasts bounced with each thrust Fenris made. He leaned over, driving his dick into her deeper and reached beneath her, grabbing one of her soft breasts and fondled it, teasing the nipple with his finger. He slid his other hand down over her hip to her pussy, rubbing and massaging the soaking wet clit. Anna moaned loudly clutching the bed sheets and Fenris felt her muscles tense and tighten around his dick.

"Ohh...you're so good...!" she moaned.

Fenris blushed lightly, his first time with a woman was going better than he could have imagined. He began picking up speed, squeezing her breast tighter and thrust his hips hard and fast as he bent over her, kissing and sucking her neck from behind. His fingers and dick became soaked with the hot juices that dripped from her tight hole. Fenris groaned and panted breathlessly hearing her moans and cries of sexual thrill intensify. He could feel himself getting closer and struggled to hold it in until she came.

"Oh, Maker! I'm coming!" she cried. Anna let out a passionate cry of pleasure arching her back and her pussy squeezed his dick tightly as she climaxed. Her clear cum dripped from her pussy and onto the bed sheets as her whole body shuddered with waves of pleasure. Fenris was on the verge of his own climax when Anna suddenly spoke up.

"Careful, it's not one of my safe days." she said through her pants.

It took Fenris a moment to realize what she meant and he quickly yanked himself out, grabbing the base of his throbbing erection to hold back his orgasm. He took her arm with the other hand and pulled her around on her knees to face him, putting his dick to her mouth and slid it in. Anna immediately began sucking him off fast and brought him to his climax almost right away. Fenris leaned his head back and let out a moan, filling her mouth with his hot semen. She gulped it all down and cleaned his dick before taking it back out.

Fenris panted in exhaustion and pulled his pants back up before lying down again and closed his eyes. Anna crawled up to lie on her side next to him with her head on his shoulder and rested a hand on his chest. "Mm, that was great." she said with a sigh of satisfaction.

Fenris became tense, not used to anyone but the mage touching him, then put an arm around her and slowly relaxed. He was almost relaxed enough to fall asleep.

Then he felt a finger tracing his markings.

Anna trailed her finger along the lyrium patterns on his chest. "These are beautiful. Where did-"

Fenris suddenly sat up making her fall off him. "There's somewhere I need to go." he said quickly while getting out of bed and stood with his back to her as he began fastening his vest again.

Anna sat up quickly and looked up at him in concern. "I-is it something I did?" she asked worriedly

"It's nothing." he said bluntly, not bothering to look at her. He could feel her eyes on him though, and turned to look over his shoulder at her. She sat staring up at him looking hurt and sad at the same time. Fenris began to feel guilty then sighed, turning around to face her. "I'm sorry. The history behind these markings is...unpleasant, to say the least. I prefer to forget that they are there." he said softly.

Anna seemed slightly relieved when he showed no anger toward her then nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry I upset you."

Fenris shook his head. "It isn't your fault, I hadn't thought to tell you. I was used to my other partner knowing."

There was a sudden spark of curiosity in those jade eyes when he mentioned a partner. "So you had another lover? I take it you two aren't together anymore?" she asked, seeming interested in the matter.

Fenris almost corrected her on the term 'lover', but didn't feel like going through the whole explanation of things and merely let it slide. "No, we aren't. There was someone else. They had been separated through...certain circumstances, but were recently reunited. I simply stepped aside. It was probably for the best."

Anna's eyebrows lowered and she had a look of sympathy on her face. "Oh, I'm sorry. I know how difficult it is to separate from your love." she said softly, a nostalgic look in her eyes.

"We weren't in love." Fenris said quickly. "We were just screwing around for fun, we didn't feel anything for each other. Outside of sex we were still rivals and fought all the time. So if he wants-"

"He?" Anna asked with a look of intrigue.

Fenris froze with embarrassment at that slip. "Uh, it's not like...we aren't...I-I'm not gay! I like women just fine! I think I prefer you over him, actually." He was pretty certain that was the case. The sexual attraction he felt toward this beautiful woman in front of him was great, and there were more exciting things to do with her that couldn't be done with Anders. Fenris didn't need that annoying mage after all.

Anna giggled and smiled up at Fenris. "Relax, sweetie. It's not as black and white as that. If the sex is fun it doesn't matter if it's with a man or woman. It's not the sex that matters, but the feelings." Her playful expression slowly turned into one that was a little more serious. "And there were no feelings...right?"

Fenris grew uncomfortable with the way she looked at him. It was almost as if she was reading him somehow, and the tone in her voice suggested that maybe she was aware of something he wasn't aware of himself.

Fenris looked to the side, unable to look into her eyes anymore. "No, we don't like each other except for sex. The way we feel about certain things are completely different, and we simply cannot agree with each other. I'll never accept his views." Fenris's fingers curled into loose fists and he closed his eyes. "He is the very thing I hate most." he said quietly.

Anna watched him silently for a moment, a sad but caring look on her face. "He is _something _you hate," she said softly. "but is it _him_ you hate?"

Fenris didn't know what to say to that. He'd hated Anders for years, wanted to just kill him on multiple occasions, wished Hawke didn't care for him so much. But lately, Fenris wanted him. His touch, his kiss, his embrace...

Fenris shook his head, pushing thoughts of the mage aside. "I just...wanted caring attention, that's all. As a slave I was never-"

"Slave?" Anna asked wide-eyed. "Oh, Fenris, I'm so-"

Fenris quickly cut her off. "Please, I dislike being pitied. So, don't apologize."

She blinked. "O-oh, sorry..."

They were both silent for a moment then started laughing. The laughter passed after a couple of seconds and Fenris let out a sigh as he became serious again. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed with his back to her and leaned forward resting his forearms on his thighs and laced his fingers together. "How does one know what an emotion feels like when they've never experienced or felt it before? I mean, what is 'love'?" He'd asked Varric a similar question, but wondered if Anna could provide a more satisfying answer.

"Hmm..." Anna closed her eyes and became contemplative, as if trying to think of a way to explain. She suddenly dropped back on the bed and lay on her back, keeping her eyes closed and spread her arms out. Fenris turned his torso to look at her, trying to figure out what she was doing.

"Love is like...floating." she said with a little smile. "Your heart swells, and you're lifted into the sky, floating on cloud nine. Happiness is what keeps you afloat, and only sadness and heartbreak will bring you down. But as long as that love is there and your heart filled with joy, you'll never drop." She spoke wistfully, but at the same time almost seemed sad. Was she floating for someone? Or had she already fallen?

Anna opened her eyes and propped herself up on her elbows, looking up at Fenris. "What about you? What do you feel?"

Fenris turned back around and hung his head, leaning forward again. He closed his eyes and concentrated deeply on what he felt.

"Falling." he replied softly.

Anna looked at him sadly, but kept silent as she listened intently to his words.

Fenris kept his eyes closed. "Like falling into an abyss, surrounded by nothing but darkness. Spiraling out of control." He could almost see it: an image of himself falling head first into endless darkness, unable to gain control of himself.

Fenris had to open his eyes, he could almost feel the vertigo from the fall making him dizzy.

Anna sat up all the way and put an arm around him from behind, resting her head against his back. "It's fear." she said softly.

Fenris grew tense, but not from her touch. He'd never thought about such a thing. He only turned away from his emotions, believing that they only caused weakness. But he doubted that thought was untrue.

"What are you afraid of, Fenris?" Anna asked.

"I...I don't know."

Why was he even talking to her about this? He wasn't entirely sure. Something about this woman was comforting, as if he could speak to her freely. She seemed caring and sincere, nothing like the women he associated with. Fenris couldn't help but wonder if the seduction was a means of getting him to speak to her. She did seem concerned about what was troubling him back at the Hanged Man, and the way she had looked at him, it seemed like it was more than mild curiosity that drove her.

Fenris closed his eyes and couldn't help but smile in amusement. Women could be frighteningly crafty sometimes. (Girl power! Whoo!)

"Well, maybe you're afraid to love." Anna said, interrupting his thoughts. "What if that man-"

"I don't and won't love the mage." Fenris said coldly. He couldn't do it. No, he _wouldn't_ do it. He would never love a mage and abomination.

"Mage?" she asked in surprise, letting go of him and sitting back. "You mean an apostate?"

Fenris nearly smacked himself on the forehead. Once again he had spoken too carelessly. Perhaps she was a little too easy to talk to. He turned to face her, feeling it necessary to defend the mage for some reason. "Yes, he's an apostate, but he is no blood mage. In fact, he's always rambling and whining about how not all mages are evil and that only blood mages are trouble and talking about mages' rights and other nonsense like that. It's annoying, really. Maddening even."

Anna only smiled, not looking the least bit troubled. "Relax, sweetie, I have no problem with mages. But a man and an apostate...you really are a naughty boy." she grinned.

Fenris's face turned red with embarrassment and he cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head. "Well, I hadn't planned on having him for a partner, i-it just happened. I mean, I was kind of really drunk and...the sex was pretty good, so we just kept going... If it weren't for that stupid mage I probably would never have uh, you know... I had never even thought about it, so..." His rambling trailed off. Fenris sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes and shutting them tightly. He was a foolish mess, and he couldn't even blame it on alcohol this time. Fenris really wished he would return to his old self again already.

Anna giggled. "You're adorable when you're embarrassed, you know. No wonder even men find you sexually appealing. Even one you argue...with..." Her smiled faded, and a look of realization replaced her amused expression. "Oh..." she said softly.

Fenris turned away from her, he could tell she had figured it out.

"Mages. That's what you hate most, isn't it? And why you don't want to get closer to him."

Fenris closed his eyes with a deep frown on his face. "I know not all mages are evil, I know there are those who never submit to demons and live their whole lives without using blood magic or hurting others. But I just can't look at them differently. They are all cursed by the Maker. They're very existence is a sin. Tevinter is proof of that. The things I saw and experienced when I lived there with my master..." Fenris took a deep breath and tried to control his trembling voice. "It's unforgivable." he murmured in disgust. Fenris could never forget that evil, and he could never forgive mages because of it. But that damn Anders...he caused Fenris doubt sometimes. And he absolutely couldn't stand it.

Anna moved to sit beside him and put her head on his shoulder leaning against him and closed her eyes. "I understand. But it's sad that you are falling instead of floating. Even if you get hurt in the end, the feeling is worth it."

Again, Fenris got the feeling the person he was speaking with was talking about a situation different from his own. He was certain she was thinking of someone else, just as Varric had been. But he wouldn't ask as he'd done with the dwarf. If she wanted to talk about it, she would.

Anna suddenly looked at him and smiled. "Maybe all you need is someone to take your mind off your troubles." Her sweet smile turned into a seductive one. "If you know what I mean..."

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Indeed."

She was right, he just needed a change in things. Then he'd forget about that annoying mage and all the frustration he caused. Maybe he could even return to his normal self again.

But then what would become of him and Anders?

Before any thoughts could come to mind, the feel of Anna's breasts pressing against his arm distracted him. He looked over to her seeing her lean in closer with a mischievous look on her face. "So...still leaving?"

Fenris gave a light shrug with a nonchalant expression. "Perhaps..." He suddenly pushed her back on the bed and crawled over her grinning. "After another round or two."

Anna giggled and rubbed his abs up to his firm chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We can go as many rounds as you'd like, hon."

Fenris pressed his face to her neck, kissing and sucking her fair, porcelain skin lightly then rolled over onto his back while pulling her with him so she was on top. They embraced and caressed each other, their sexual excitement rising again as they prepared for another round of hot, passionate sex.

* * *

There was no sound, the silence was almost deafening. He had no thoughts as he stayed submerged in silent darkness. It wasn't long before his chest began to ache, his lungs burning with a desperate plea for air. Fenris finally pushed up, breaking the surface of his bath water and took a deep breath, easing the pain in his air deprived lungs. He opened his eyes and pushed his wet hair back from his face then rested his arms on either side of the tub, leaning his head back to rest on the rim and closed his eyes again.

Three times. He and Anna had sex three times, and still he didn't feel satisfied. But it wasn't sexual satisfaction he lacked. In fact, he wasn't sure what it was exactly. For some reason, Fenris felt like something was missing, though what it was he didn't know. It felt empty somehow. He felt empty. Maybe it would pass though. After all, he and Anna had only just met. Perhaps he just needed time to get used to his new partner. He didn't know her the way he knew the mage.

Fenris opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. What was Anders doing anyway? Fenris couldn't help but wonder. Was he with that woman, doing the things they once did? Would he even think about him anymore, or had he simply pushed Fenris from his mind?

Fenris realized what he was thinking then growled loudly in irritation and rubbed his face with his hands. What did it even matter? Why would he even wonder about such a thing? The mage found himself a woman and moved on. So what? Fenris didn't care about that stupid mage anyway. With his annoying rants about mages' rights, constant complaining about unfair treatment, dumb mage revolution ideas...sweet lips, tight ass, hard, throbbing co-

Fenris blinked and stood up quickly. His thoughts almost went too far. He got out of the tub and grabbed a towel, starting to dry himself off. He really needed a distraction, maybe someone had a job for him. Killing something would surely help take his mind off things.

Before he could start dressing, he heard a knock at his front door and froze. Visitors weren't very common for him. He moved to the bathroom door and slowly opened it, poking his head out and strained his ears to listen for movement or a voice.

"Fenris, are you home?" a familiar voice called out.

Fenris relaxed and let out a sigh. "Door's open, Hawke." he called back.

He heard the front door open and the sound of Hawke's footsteps as the other man entered the mansion. Fenris picked up his pants that Anna had mended the hole in and called from the bathroom, "Give me a minute, I'm dressing."

"Alright."

Fenris could hear Hawke make his way upstairs to his bedroom and finished putting his clothes on then walked upstairs, vigorously drying his hair with a towel. By the time he entered his bedroom, Hawke was already sitting in a chair at the table. Fenris hung the towel around his neck and took a seat in the chair at the head of the table.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, already having an idea as to why Hawke was there.

Hawke had a bothered look on his face. "I heard from Varric about what happened this morning."

Fenris raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what did you hear from the storytelling dwarf?" he asked in amusement. Varric liked to embellish his stories, if not make them up completely, but Fenris figured with a situation like this he wouldn't bullshit with Hawke.

Hawke folded his arms. "A troubling occurrence. Anders broke a Circle mage out of the Gallows, one he knew back at the Ferelden Circle before she was sent to Kirkwall. Now he's together with her again, and you two have stopped your relationship."

Fenris looked away from Hawke, leaning back in his chair. "Would you people quit talking like we were some kind of loving couple? It was sex! It's not as if we actually cared about each other or anything."

"Then why did you continue for so long?"

Fenris looked back at Hawke quickly, caught off guard by his question. "Well, because it was...enjoyable, of course. Otherwise, I..."

Hawke's hard expression softened. "If it was just for the enjoyment, you could have found someone else, right? If you hate Anders so much then why not find another partner? It would have been pretty much the same, wouldn't it?"

Fenris became silent for a moment. His eyes shifted to the side as he tried to think of an answer. Finally, he gave Hawke a devious smile. "It wouldn't have been as fun dominating someone other than that annoying mage. It was much more exciting making him submit to me and take it up the-"

"Alright, alright." Hawke quickly interrupted then sighed. "I guess I should have expected an answer like that..."

Fenris folded his arms. "And what kind of answer were you expecting? Did you want me to admit I'm secretly in love with the abomination? What is it with you people? Do you like the man on man thing or something?"

Hawke scratched the back of his head uneasily. "N-no, just...it was kind of nice when you two weren't at each others' throats all the time."

Fenris grinned. "We were at each others' throats still, just in a considerably different way. If it weren't for that collar of his you would have seen my marks..."

Hawke waved his hands. "Ok, ok! I get it."

Fenris found teasing people much more amusing than he used to ever since he started with the mage. He never realized how shy Hawke was about sexual matters. Now that he thought about it, he never knew Hawke to be in any kind of relationship with a woman. He always seemed busy with other matters.

"Hawke, could it be you're a virgin?" he asked with a teasing smile.

Hawke's face grew red and his eyes widened. "W-what? What does that-?"

"Maybe you should get laid."

"Fenris!"

Fenris let out a laugh. "Calm yourself, I'm just joking. Although, I'm told I'm pretty good in bed. If you ever feel like-"

"Ok, I'm done here." Hawke quickly stood. "I get it, you don't want me to bug you about the matter."

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Hm, you figured it out pretty quickly. I didn't even get to try and seduce you."

Hawke put a hand over his face and heaved a little sigh. "And all I wanted was for the fighting to stay over." he muttered.

Fenris's smile faded and he looked up at Hawke seriously again. "What?"

Hawke lowered his hand and looked back at Fenris. "You guys don't fight like you used to anymore. It was kind of nice, and I was even relieved. You know you're both dear friends, seeing you two go at each other like that was painful. I was afraid that...I would one day have to choose between you." he said sadly.

Fenris stared at Hawke, starting to feel some guilt. Was that how he felt? He'd never thought about it until now. Fenris had always been so caught up in his anger and dislike for the mage that he never stopped to think about what it was doing to Hawke. If he'd known he was hurting his friend that way, then...

"I'm sorry." Fenris said, closing his eyes. "If that's what the concern is really about then I'll try not to fight with the mage like before. For your sake, Hawke."

Hawke smiled with a look of relief in his eyes. "Thanks, Fenris. I appreciate it." He hesitated a moment, glancing down, then looked back up at the elf again. "Why do you want it in the first place?" he asked curiously. "I mean, you never showed even the slightest interest in sex before. You always shot down Isabela's advances, and pretty much ignored all women who showed any sign of attraction toward you. So why did you keep up a relationship with Anders? Is it only for the pleasure?"

Fenris leaned forward with his arms on his thighs, staring at the ground. "You've always had your family, haven't you, Hawke?" he asked, not looking up at the other man.

Hawke looked confused by the question. "Well, yeah. Why?"

"Then you've never known loneliness, or the absence of warmth and comfort." Fenris replied with a hint of melancholy in his voice.

Hawke frowned as he stared at Fenris. He'd never thought about that before. He always had his mother, father, Bethany and Carver. But one by one they were disappearing. First his father, then Carver and Bethany...

Sickening memories began to surface, echoing voices from years ago.

_"You soulless bastards!"_

_"Carver!"_

_"How could you let him charge off like that? Your little brother! My little boy..."_

{*}

_"You'll take care of it, won't you, Brother?"_

_"How can I kill my own sister?"_

_"Because she's asking you to."_

Hawke closed his eyes, forcing the memories from his mind.

Fenris sensed Hawke's distress and began to panic, realizing his mistake. How could he have been so foolish? "Hawke, I'm sorry. I-"

Hawke held up a hand and shook his head. He opened his eyes and gave Fenris a small smile, but there was still a sense of sadness about him. "It's ok, really. I know you didn't mean anything by it. But I think I understand what you mean. Maybe I took such a thing for granted. I just...I wish it didn't take losing them to make me realize it. I guess you never know how much something really means to you until it's gone."

Fenris leaned back in his chair again, thinking on Hawke's words. Did he have anything that mattered to him that much? Would it take losing it to discover what it was? He valued Hawke's friendship a great deal, but doubted it was the same.

Hawke turned and started to exit Fenris's room. "I'll talk to you later, let you know if I need your help with any missions or something. I'm going to go see Anders and find out what's going on with him."

Fenris looked up at Hawke quickly. "You're going to see the mage?" he asked, with a little too much interest. He frowned then snorted through his nose. "I'm sure he's just fine. He has Lenora now, after all..."

Hawke turned back to Fenris with a startled look on his face. He suddenly smiled with a sly look in his eyes. "For someone who doesn't care that Anders has moved on, you sound suspiciously jealous..."

Fenris clenched his jaw in irritation, then returned Hawke's smile with a devious one of his own. "Careful, Hawke, I'm known to be a little...rough if someone rubs me the wrong way..."

Hawke's smile faded quickly. "What are you-?"

"We're alone here and no one comes by. If I jumped you now there would be no one to hear you scream and come to your rescue. According to the mage I'm a kind of sexual deviant, and I'm not particularly gentle with men..."

Hawke stared at Fenris in stunned silence. It was funny the way his face was turning bright red. Fenris chuckled lightly, satisfied that his bluff got the other man to stop spouting his nonsense.

"Besides," Fenris continued, before Hawke found his voice again. "why would I care about the mage and his woman? After all, I've found my own."

Hawke recovered from the rape threat and blinked a couple of times, a bewildered look on his face. "What? You mean Varric wasn't making up that part about the tavern woman? I wasn't really sure he was telling the truth. The thought of you following some woman home to have sex just sounds so...not you."

Fenris turned his head, lowering his eyebrows. "It's not as if I'm myself anymore." he mumbled, speaking out loud unintentionally. He cringed when he realized his slip and closed his eyes, waiting for some sort of remark from Hawke.

"Are you unhappy about it?" Hawke asked quietly.

Fenris opened his eyes again, but didn't look back at Hawke. "I feel...wrong. I have been the same way for many years, and now I feel as though I am a person I'm simply not used to being. I always kept my thoughts and emotions in check, and never really felt bothered by most things. Things were so much simpler then, but now it's different. I feel as though I have become unguarded."

"Is that bad?"

Fenris looked back at Hawke as he took a seat again across from him. "Wasn't it lonely, being so distant from everyone? Staying cooped up in this crumbling mansion, only coming around us when asked to join in on missions or invited for drinks or cards at the Hanged Man? You seem more open now, less...broody."

"I don't brood." Fenris muttered. "Now you sound like the dwarf."

Hawke chuckled and gave Fenris a warm smile. "I kind of like you this way, you seem less miserable now. I want you to be happy, after everything you went through you deserve it. I just thought, you know, maybe it was because of Anders you became like this."

Fenris shifted uncomfortably in his chair and glanced away from Hawke. "It was just the sex. It had nothing to do with the mage. I was merely unused to such...treatment. It was completely different from what I've known, and I began to long for it more and more. To be touched, held, kissed. To be wrapped up in a warm embrace, to feel a tenderness I've never known, and to..."

Fenris caught himself and quickly shut his mouth, his face turning red. What was he doing saying these things to Hawke? He didn't want to look at him, but slowly turned his head to look at the other man.

Hawke scratched the back of his head, avoiding eye contact with Fenris. "I uh, ahem, I see..." he said awkwardly, then took a breath to compose himself. "So it wasn't Anders himself, just the comfort you got from the act. I guess that makes sense."

Fenris felt relief that Hawke understood the situation and even confirmed his own thoughts. He became more certain that he didn't feel anything for the mage now. It even put him at ease somehow. The doubt he'd felt caused him distress, and his thoughts made him restless. But now he could relax, he didn't have to doubt anymore.

But there was a puzzling feeling of dissatisfaction inside him that made itself known the more he tried to convince himself that he felt nothing.

Hawke leaned back in his chair with a thoughtful expression on his face. "I suppose it takes being deprived of such a thing to make you truly appreciate the experience. It could probably put anyone in a good mood. Maybe the Qunari need to get laid..."

Fenris chuckled. "The Qunari do not engage in needless sex. Doing so requires them to be 'reeducated'. Sex is basically a low priority among them, even for breeding purposes. So 'getting laid' is just not a thing in their culture."

"No wonder they're so cranky." Hawke muttered, then rose from his chair. "Anyway, I should get going now. I'll talk to you later."

As Hawke began to leave, Fenris called after him. "And Hawke?"

Hawke stopped in the doorway and turned to look back at Fenris. "Yeah?"

"Most of this conversation never happened..."

Hawke feigned cluelessness. "Conversation? I have no idea what you're talking about."

Fenris smiled. "Good man, Hawke."

Hawke gave a nod, chuckling lightly, then turned and left Fenris's bedroom. Fenris could hear the sounds of his departing footsteps then the front door opening and closing as he exited the mansion.

Once Hawke was gone, Fenris leaned back in his chair closing his eyes. He finally obtained the much needed reprieve from the unpleasant feelings that had caused him such discomfort for the past week. Hawke had been right about how Fenris was more 'open' now, but the conversation he'd had with him brought Fenris the sense of relief he sought.

But relief soon turned to regret. Maybe the mage had been right, maybe their 'relationship' should never have started in the first place. If only he hadn't experienced sex or all the emotions and feelings that came with it, things wouldn't have turned out this way. He should have been more vigilant, more driven to maintain his way of life from before. He should never have gone to the mage, or caved in to his curiosity and desire.

But it was the mage's fault, he had tempted Fenris. Of course, Fenris had been the one who asked first. But the mage should have resisted. Then again, he wouldn't have even been with Fenris that night if the elf hadn't been so drunk that he needed to be brought home. But it was the mage's fault for making him get so drunk in the first place. Then again, Fenris probably could have shown more restraint with his drinking.

Fenris exhaled sharply with a frustrated growl coming out at the end. His thoughts were simply going in circles and exhausting his mind. Maybe there was no single point to blame for what happened. It didn't matter now, what was done was done and there was no changing it. He couldn't go back to the way things were before. But maybe he didn't have to. Anna was very generous in her comforting ways, and Fenris got the feeling she was gaining the same benefit from him: a way of moving on from someone else.

She hadn't admitted to it, but the implication was there when she spoke of love. Fenris wondered what had happened. The same thing that happened to him perhaps? Maybe that's why they seemed to connect. Regardless though, he had gained the relief he so desired and that was all that mattered. But for some reason, he still felt a strange sense of unease.

No matter, it would probably pass.

Fenris stood and looked out the narrow window of his bedroom. The sky was turning a deep orange from the dying light of the setting sun. Though it hadn't turned completely dark yet, Fenris was weary from the day's events. He pulled the towel that hung around his neck off and dropped it on the table before heading over to his bed. He removed his gauntlets and chest plate, but didn't bother with the rest of his clothes and plopped down on the bed. Now that he was at ease, he was certain he could sleep well again. Fenris closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep almost immediately.

* * *

The next week and a half was both familiar and different to Fenris. He felt some comfort in the familiarity of everyday deeds such as taking on a job, going to the Hanged Man, or accompanying Hawke on a mission when asked. It was almost the same routine. Except now, the mage's presence had all but vanished from his life. Fenris hadn't seen him since the day he went to him injured and was sent away with the message that the mage was done with him. At least, that's how it felt to him. There was a strange empty feeling left by Anders's absence, and it seemed Fenris wasn't the only one who felt it. None of the others had seen Anders much either. Even when Hawke went to see him the mage had stated that he was 'busy' and couldn't lend his assistance on missions. Fenris didn't have to guess at what he was busy doing. Or who.

Not that he cared, of course, because he had something to do himself. The one thing that made his routine different from before. He made an effort to visit Anna everyday to 'vent' frustrations, but at the same time to find some comfort in conversation with her. Aside from being great in bed, he found her to be a good listener who had kind and soothing words. Fenris found he looked forward to talking to her almost as much as he looked forward to sex. Possibly even more. The more acquainted they became, the more he grew to appreciate her companionship. But despite how close they had grown, it still felt like something was missing. He had thought Anna would fill that empty space and the feeling would disappear, but it hadn't. He still had the sense of dissatisfaction that had been eating away at him since breaking things off with the mage. Fenris thought it had finally passed after the conversation with Hawke back at his mansion, but he found that the longer he went without seeing or hearing from the mage the more the feeling grew. Perhaps it was because something he was so used to was suddenly gone, and he hadn't had time to adjust. Fenris was kind of a creature of habit, so it was probably normal that he would feel thrown off by the absence of something that had been around him for years. All he needed was more time, and things would be fine again.

All he needed was time.

{*}

"Please, Hawke!" Merrill pleaded desperately. "Give me the Arulin'Holm!"

Hawke and the others were traveling the path from the Dalish Camp back to Kirkwall and Merrill had been bugging him practically the whole time. He continued staring straight ahead without looking back at the begging Merrill. "I don't know if I should, Merrill. The Keeper seemed very adamant and-"

"But I need it to fix the Eluvian! I know I can do it, I just need the Arulin'Holm!" Merrill touched Hawke's arm. "Please, Lethallan." she said gently.

Though Hawke still didn't look at Merrill there was a slight flinch when she used the term of endearment. Even though he was a warrior, Hawke was also a softy deep down.

"Just give it to the witch, Hawke." Fenris grumbled. "Maybe we'll get lucky and a demon will come out and eat her."

Merrill looked back at Fenris with an angered glare and Hawke sighed heavily. "That's exactly _why_ I'm not giving it to her, Fenris."

Fenris shrugged his shoulders. "Hm, your call."

Merrill crinkled her nose at Fenris then turned her attention back to Hawke and took hold of his arm. "Hawke, I-"

Hawke suddenly jerked his arm away wincing in pain and sucked in sharply through his teeth. Merrill pulled back quickly in surprise. "Oh! Hawke, your arm!"

No one had noticed the blood stain on the material over Hawke's arm where there was a break in his armor. He gripped his wounded arm with a slight grimace on his face. "It's fine, it's just a flesh wound."

"It must have happened during the fight with the Varterral. We need to get back to Kirkwall quickly to get it treated. I...I can't do healing magic." Merril confessed meekly.

Fenris snorted with a scowl. "Big surprise, the blood mage can't do something to help people."

"Fenris!" Hawke gave Fenris a warning glare then looked at Merrill. "It's fine, it's nothing serious. I'll be ok until we get back to Kirkwall."

Merrill nodded, but still had a look of guilt on her face. "It'd still be better if I were a healer, like Anders."

At the mention of the mage, Fenris remembered the balm he had given him for his arrow wound. Fenris quickly reached into the pouch on his belt and took the small jar out then walked over to Hawke. "Here, put this on and see if it helps."

Hawke accepted the jar and examined it. "What's this?"

"I got it from the mage. It's for healing wounds. I didn't need it though, he ended up just healing my wound for me." Fenris felt uncomfortable talking about Anders for some reason. It reminded him of the empty feeling he couldn't seem to get rid of.

Hawke started applying the balm to his wound. "Wow, this stuff feels great. That's Anders for you."

Fenris folded his arms. "You mean being more useful than the witch even when he's not here?"

Merrill pouted and Hawke glared at Fenris again. "I said knock it off."

"No, you didn't."

"Oh. Well...it was implied!"

Varric chuckled and grinned. "Relax, that's just Elf's way of showing how much he misses Blondie."

It was Fenris's turn to give an angry glare. "Don't be ridiculous, dwarf. I would simply rather that annoying mage over the witch any day. He's actually useful. Plus he doesn't drag us into battles that causes a bunch of people to get killed by some big rock...monster...thing."

Merrill frowned deeply, clenching her fists tightly as she held back tears. "That wasn't my fault and you know it! I had nothing to do with the Varterrall attacking the hunters. I wasn't even in the camp when it happened!"

"Well that 'Paul' guy wouldn't have been killed if he hadn't run away in fear from a certain blood mage..."

Merrill's large eyes widened then she grabbed her head squeezing her eyes shut. "No!" she cried. "Pol...Pol's death wasn't my fault! It wasn't!"

Hawke took a firm hold of Fenris's shoulder. "Enough." he said sternly. "What happened back there can't be undone. Torturing poor Merrill won't change anything, and it certainly won't bring the deceased Dalish back."

Fenris sighed through his nose and accepted the jar of balm when Hawke handed it back to him. He was just feeling some frustration at having Merrill replace Anders in their group. He really would rather him instead of her, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was only because she was a blood mage and he wasn't. She was a little too stupid to pose that much of a threat, after all. Merril was a really bad blood mage, but not bad as in 'evil' as 'just not good at it'. Even so, he truly hated her. He wished the mage would come back already.

After having that thought, it made Fenris wonder if he really did miss Anders. His eye twitched at the thought and he silently reprimanded himself.

"Let's get going." Hawke said as he looked over at the sun setting on the horizon. "I want to get back to Kirkwall before it gets dark."

As they began traveling again, Merrill was close on Hawke's heels once more.

"Please, Hawke."

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No!"

"Pretty please with sugar on top?"

"Merrill!"

"Just let her get devoured by a demon already, Hawke."

"Fenris!"

"It's going to be a long walk back, eh, Bianca?"

* * *

_Fenris kissed along his partner's neck, drawing a sweet groan from their lips. He brushed their ear with his lips and whispered. "Are you ready for it?"_

_"Hurry, give it to me."_

_Fenris grinned, feeling the tingle of excitement in his groin. He kissed their lips lightly while positioning himself then slowly began pushing himself inside, feeling the sweet sensation of warm muscles tightening around his hard dick. He never grew tired of it._

_Arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he began thrusting slow and hard. A low moan escaped his lips and he pressed his face against their neck, gripping their hips tighter._

_"More..." A voice whispered into ear._

_Fenris shivered with excitement and began moving his hips faster, kissing and sucking on the soft skin of their neck. The moans and sounds of pleasure grew louder and more intense as Fenris drove himself roughly into the hot tight hole that squeezed and gripped his throbbing erection tightly._

_"Ahh...I'm almost...!"_

_Their arms tightened around his neck and they arched their back letting out a cry of ecstasy upon orgasming, their body shuddering with pleasure beneath Fenris. He groaned and panted heavily continuing to move his hips, but felt no closer to his own climax._

_"I missed you."_

_Fenris slowed his movements to a halt, then lifted his head and looked into a set of amber eyes gazing back at him. Anders caressed Fenris's cheek and brushed it lightly with his thumb. Fenris swallowed hard and quickly pressed his lips to the mage's, kissing him deeply._

_"You'd better not leave me again, mage." he whispered. "Or I don't know what I'll do..."_

_Anders gave him a warm smile. "How could I? I..."_

{*}

Fenris bolted upright in bed panting heavily. His heart was racing and he was drenched in sweat. It took a moment for his head to clear before he came to his senses. Fenris closed his eyes and hung his head, putting a hand over his face. It was that dream again.

Each night they seemed to grow more vivid, and it tormented him. He'd been trying hard to forget the mage and the passionate days and nights they spent together over the past few months. Almost half a year of tender kisses, warm embraces, and sweet ecstasy came to an abrupt halt, and though Fenris had found himself a new very satisfying partner, the mage was still on his mind. He couldn't understand why. He had a new partner, he got everything from Anna that he'd gotten from the mage and then some. So what was it that kept Anders on his mind?

Fenris lowered his hand letting out a sigh and opened his eyes. He frowned upon looking down to see his hard erection protruding beneath his pants. It was like this every time. He placed his hand on top of the hard, throbbing member, feeling its heat even through his pants. He rubbed his hand up and down the length a couple of times, then yanked his hand away, refusing to satisfy himself to the thoughts of those dreams.

Fenris swung his legs over the side of the bed, deciding he'd take a cold bath to calm himself down. When he stood and took a step he felt a sharp pain in the bottom of his foot and jerked it back, cursing in Elvish. Fenris looked down to see his belt on the ground where he had dropped it and picked it up, reaching into the pouch he had stepped on and removing the offending object that had hurt his foot. He held the jar of healing balm in his hand and stared at it. He didn't even need it, so what was the point in having it? Maybe he should just give it to Hawke or something.

Or maybe he should return it. It at least gave him a reason to go see the mage. Their last meeting had ended awkwardly and it had been a rather unsatisfying departure. Maybe if Fenris gained some kind of closure it would help him move on more easily. And maybe it would help bring an end to those dreams, as well as the feeling of emptiness that seemed to plague him the last couple of weeks.

Fenris tossed the jar up lightly and caught it again. "Worth a shot..." he murmured to himself. Opening the pouch of his belt, he placed the jar back inside, mulling the plan over in his mind as he did so. He had no way of knowing whether it would work or not unless he tried. Though it made him feel like he was being ridiculous deep down, he decided he would do so.

Right after that cold bath, of course.

{*}

The door to the clinic was closed as usual. Fenris walked up clutching the jar of balm in his hand. "_Let's get this over with..._" he thought to himself. The more he thought about what he was doing, the more foolish he felt. It was almost embarrassing even. Determined to do this quickly and be on his way again, Fenris reached for the door handle.

"I love you."

He halted in mid-reach at the words that reached his ears from the other side of the door. His eyes widened slightly and he felt cold all over. He recognized Lenora's voice, and he didn't have to guess who she was talking to.

"I'm ready now, so let's go back to Ferelden. Let's leave this terrible place and go home."

"Yes," a male voice responded. "and when we get back we can finally get married and start a family. There's nothing left for us here now. All we need is each other."

Fenris felt a sharp pain in his chest. The jar he was holding slipped from his hand and dropped to the ground.

"Oh, Andy..." Lenora replied lovingly.

Silence followed, and it wasn't hard to figure out what their lips were doing now that they weren't being used for speaking anymore. Fenris's body grew tense with anger and he gritted his teeth, scowling angrily. He spun around on his heel and began storming off. His chest was aching and his eyes stung with a painful heat unfamiliar to him. He never imagined the mage would run away from Kirkwall with that woman, let alone run away to get married and have a family. Especially after all that talk about Grey Wardens and their fate. Could it be he was just telling Fenris that to push him away? To make it easier to convince Fenris to break it off with him so he could move on with Lenora?

The more he thought about it, the more Fenris's anger grew. It continued to swell up inside of his chest until it felt like he would burst. He needed to calm down, to find some relief. There was only one person who could help him with that.

* * *

Anna hummed softly as she dragged the rolling pin back and forth on the dough she planned on making into pie crust. Her curly, golden orange hair was pulled up into a bun, a few tendrils hanging loose in the back. She wiped her forehead with the back of one arm, getting more flour on her face as she did so. Just a couple more pies and the next day's stock would be ready for sale at her bakery.

An abrupt knock at her door took her by surprise and she set down the rolling pin, grabbing a towel and wiping off her face as she walked to the door. She hung the towel over her shoulder and opened the door to find a grim faced Fenris standing before her.

Anna blinked, looking startled. "Fenris? What's-?"

Before she could finish her sentence, Fenris backed her inside swinging the door shut behind him and grabbed her up making her take hold of him with her arms and legs. She let out a little gasp and gripped him tightly while he carried her to her room then dropped her on the bed. He crawled on top of her and ravaged her neck with his lips and tongue while fondling her breast through her dress. He pressed his hips into hers, rubbing his hardening manhood between her legs, pressing into her pussy and growing more erect from the sweet friction. Anna let out a little moan and pushed her hips up against his, pressing her lower body harder against the throbbing member in his pants.

Fenris grasped the front of her dress and yanked the top open, popping the buttons and releasing her supple breasts. Anna let out another soft gasp but made no complaints, instead seeming to be more aroused by the show of force. Fenris grasped an erect nipple with his lips and sucked on it roughly, squeezing her breast gently and being cautious of his gauntlets. She let out a soft groan as he flicked his tongue over the soft, pink flesh and fondled the other with his hand. He moved over to the other breast and swirled his tongue around its nipple, giving it a gentle bite then sucked on it soothingly.

Fenris released her breasts then reached down with both hands and grabbed her legs beneath the knees, thrusting them open. He moved down on his knees lifting her dress out of the way and buried his face between her legs, pressing his lips to her lower lips through her panties. He kissed and sucked on her clitoris through the material, teasing it with his tongue until the silk cloth was wet with his saliva and her juices. Anna groaned and squirmed, leaning her head back and moving her hips as her pussy started growing hotter. She gripped the pillow beneath her head, her legs trembling from the sweet pleasure. "Ahhn..."

Fenris grabbed the sides of her panties and pulled them down with force, quickly taking them off and returning to licking her wet pussy. He gripped her thighs and lifted her hips up, arching her back so her legs were over her chest and delved his tongue deep inside of her making her moan in pleasure. He probed her wet insides with his tongue and swirled it around feeling the muscles contract with the movements.

Anna's excitement grew as he continued to pleasure her with his tongue and lips until she couldn't wait anymore. She panted heavily and looked up at Fenris with flushed cheeks. "H-hurry, put it in me..." she begged.

Fenris pulled his tongue out and lowered her hips, happy to oblige her request. He undid his pants and positioned the head of his dick, pressing it to her hot, wet hole, then slid himself in deeply letting out a low groan of pleasure. He entered all the way to the base and began thrusting deep and hard, moving his hips slowly. He leaned in over her, reaching deeper inside and hitting her sweet spot each time he pushed into her. Anna wrapped her arms around his torso and gripped his back with her fingertips pressing into his skin. Fenris moaned and began thrusting harder, feeling her nails dig into his back. He buried his face against her neck, breathing in the scent of her sweet perfume. Fenris felt her hot tight pussy squeeze his throbbing dick, her moans and gasps of pleasure filled his ears and heightened his excitement. He shuddered as he drove his dick into her with more speed and force.

Anna clutched him tightly letting out louder cries of pleasure. "Ohh...Fenris!"

Gritting his teeth, Fenris suppressed his own rising orgasm. He squirmed and struggled to hold back, feeling Anna's muscles tense as she grew closer to her climax. Finally, Anna let out a cry of orgasmic bliss and her pussy squeezed and gripped his throbbing dick, her hot cum drenching his erection. Fenris grabbed his pulsing manhood and pulled out quickly, mounting her chest and slipping his wet dick between her soft breasts. He squeezed and pressed them against his erection and began thrusting his hips, his moans growing more intense with his rising orgasm. Fenris gave a final thrust and released his load into Anna's awaiting open mouth and tongue, some of it landing on her face as well.

Fenris let out a soft groan and shuddered with waves of pleasure coursing through him before plopping back on the bed. He remained sitting up and leaned back on his hands as he tried catching his breath. Anna sat up as well, seeming a little dazed from her orgasm, while the semen that had missed her mouth ran down her face.

Fenris blushed lightly. "Sorry." he murmured sheepishly.

Anna chuckled. "No worries, hon." The towel she had slung over her shoulder before answering the door had fallen off onto the bed when she was dropped on it. She picked it up and cleaned her face and chest between her breasts. Anna adjusted her dress to tuck her breasts away, but there was no closing it anymore now that the buttons had all been popped off.

Fenris scratched the back of his head. "S-sorry about that too..." He grew embarrassed by his untamed behavior; he had never been very rough with Anna. Not like with the mage, at least.

Anna got out of bed and moved to her wardrobe taking the ruined dress off. "It's ok, I'll just let you buy me a new one." She smiled at him playfully then took another dress out and began to change.

"Now that that's out of the way," she began, after putting on a change of clean clothes. "want to tell me what's wrong?"

Fenris sat on the edge, having already closed his pants back up, and leaned back on his hands. "What makes you think anything is wrong?" he asked, even though he knew he couldn't escape her woman's intuition.

Anna walked back over and gave his soft white hair a playful ruffle. "You're easy to read when you're emotional, kind of like a little kid."

Fenris smoothed his hair again with a soft chuckle, then glanced back down as his smile faded into a troubled frown. "I just...overheard an unpleasant conversation, that's all."

Anna took a seat beside Fenris, her face serious now. "What kind of conversation?"

Fenris leaned forward placing his arms on his thighs and stared at the ground. "I heard the mage talking with that woman, Lenora. They plan on returning to Ferelden soon, and they're going to get married and have a family. It's as though I've been tossed aside like some object that's worn out its use. I've basically been left behind once again. At least when Danarius left me in Seheron it was because he had no choice. But this time..." Fenris closed his eyes and hung his head. What had he been expecting? It wasn't like he was going to stay with a Grey Warden mage abomination forever. So why did he feel betrayed?

Anna looked at Fenris with a sorrowful look and reached up to gently stroke his hair, but this time not even her touch could soothe him. He had always found comfort in her kindness, but his angst was simply too much. It felt like nothing could ease his discomfort. He had been denied the closure he was hoping for, and he couldn't face the mage now. He didn't even want to. It was time for him to move on, whether he was ready to or not.

Fenris wished now more than ever that he'd never become intimate with Anders.

"Are you ok with this?" Anna asked. "Maybe you should, I don't know, talk to him. It might help if you get your thoughts off your chest. You haven't spoken to him for the past couple of weeks or so, right? Perhaps that's why you're so bothered."

Would that really ease the tension he felt in his chest? Sometimes it felt like something was squeezing his insides, wrenching his heart, and he didn't know how to make it release him. What was this feeling? Fenris didn't know what name to give it, but he had to wonder...was it the feeling called 'heartbreak'?

Fenris turned his head and exhaled softly. "I don't know what it would accomplish. It's not as though it'd convince him to stay in Kirkwall, to not elope with Lenora and have the family he really seems to want. And he definitely wouldn't come back to me." Fenris paused for a moment. "N-not that I want him to or anything." he quickly added.

Anna placed a hand on his, though he couldn't feel the touch through his gauntlet. "You know, the more time you spend with someone intimately, the greater the chance you'll grow fond of them and start to care for them. Even if you two fought a lot, you shared moments where all of that was forgotten and all there was was passion and affection."

Fenris looked at Anna, growing slightly red. She was making it sound too romantic. "That's not it! It was only lust, nothing more! There's no way I'd be fond of that annoying mage."

"Then why are you upset that he's leaving?" Anna asked with a little smile.

Fenris blinked, unsure of what to say. Why was he upset anyway? He scratched the back of his head, feeling anxious. "I...just don't like feeling used. I feel like all that time we spent together I was simply some substitution for Lenora. I was just a replacement for another person."

Anna's eyes widened slightly and she grew rigid, a somewhat nervous look on her face. "W-well, I'm sure that's not what he meant, you might just be misunderstanding the situation. M-maybe he was sincere because he had no intention of being with her anymore, and he wasn't really trying to use you or make you feel that way. He might have decided he was ready to move on, and since you were lonely too he may have thought you could help each other out."

Fenris looked at Anna in puzzlement; the way she was acting seemed odd. "Why are you making excuses for him?"

Anna glanced down quickly. "Uh, no reason. I just thought, you know, maybe you're taking it the wrong way."

Fenris raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued by her behavior. "Is something wrong?"

She looked back up at him, a sad smile on her face. "I just don't want you to feel hurt. I don't like it when the people I care for are unhappy."

Fenris's face softened and he relaxed himself. Perhaps he was misreading her. After all, his sense of judgement wasn't always that great. He gave her a small smile. "Thank you, I appreciate your concern."

Anna patted his hand with a look of relief in her eyes then stood. "Come on, how about a slice of pie? What flavor do you like?"

Fenris stood and followed her back to the kitchen. "Uh, well, I like apple. But aren't these for your bakery?" He took a seat at the table.

Anna cut a piece from an apple pie she had made and served it to him with a smile and a slight shrug of her shoulders. "No worries, hon. If I need more I'll just come back here and make another. That's one of the perks of having your home and business in the same building."

Fenris nodded and began eating his pie, but felt a little strange. He got the feeling that he was like a child being comforted by his mother; an awkward thought to have toward someone he'd just had sex with. After a few bites Fenris looked back at Anna who had resumed her work on the next pie. "Anna, have you ever thought about having children?"

Anna suddenly spun around with an almost stunned look on her face. "W-what?"

Fenris chuckled lightly. "Relax, I don't mean with me. Just in general."

Anna rubbed the back of her neck glancing to the side nervously. "W-well, yeah... I mean, what woman hasn't thought about having children?" She looked back at him. "Why do you ask?"

Fenris shrugged. "You're just kind of...motherly. Sometimes I wonder if this is what having a mother is like."

Anna moved over to take a seat across from Fenris, a curious but concerned look in her eyes. "What do you mean? Didn't you have a mother?"

Fenris looked back down at his half eaten pie and swallowed, though there wasn't anything in his mouth. "Remember what I told you about these markings?" he asked softly. When Anna nodded he continued. "They are lyrium markings, burned into my flesh to give me a special power, something my former master had done to me. The pain...it was...horrible. So much so that my memory was erased by the trauma. I can't remember anything from my past, nothing at all. All I know is the life I lived as a slave to a Tevinter magister."

Anna looked at Fenris sadly, pressing her lips together to hold back the apology she desperately wanted to give him. She settled for reaching over and resting her hand on his, curling her fingers under to touch the skin of his palm so he could feel the warmth.

Fenris allowed her touch, accepting the silent show of sympathy. "I know nothing about my family, if I even had one. I don't know what kind of woman my mother was. Kind and adoring? Strict yet loving? Cold and aloof? Cruel and neglectful? Even if the truth is unpleasant I still would like to know. But because of a magister, a mage, I am denied everything."

Anna's eyes were filled with tears now. She suddenly got up and moved over to Fenris. Without warning, she suddenly took a seat in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, pressing her face to the side of his head as she hugged him. She stroked his hair soothingly and he heard her sniffle lightly. Fenris's face became flushed, now he really felt like a child being comforted by their mother. He sat motionless, unsure of what to do. "A-Anna, you don't have to-"

"Please," she said softly. "let me at least do this for you."

Fenris felt some of his anxiety melt away. His chest had felt heavy, like it was full of lead, and it was almost suffocating. But now, wrapped in a gentle embrace of caring comfort, he felt his guard drop. He put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, shutting his eyes as he felt the stinging heat return to them. Feeling safe while cradled in the warm arms of kindness, for the first time in his current life, Fenris let his tears flow.

* * *

Phew, Thought I'd never finish this thing! Sorry for the long wait, I know it took a while. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My dirty mind is sated now that I've got all my naughty thoughts down. Thanks for reading, everyone! ^_^

Whoa, what the fu-?! *Dodges a myriad of random objects being thrown at my head*

Kidding, kidding! I'm not done! This story is actually a lot longer than the first, so this is only chapter one. I'm still working on chapter two. I've pretty much got the story figured out, I just need the time to finish it up. So do not fret, my dears, Rainey shall deliver! Eventually. I'll update as soon as possible, just give me some time. Remember: patience is a virtue. Especially with me.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the long wait, but here is Chapter 2, finally! Complete with bondage mentioned in the first story ;) Hope it turns out to be worth the wait. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Later that night Fenris stood in front of the fireplace of his mansion, his arm rested on the mantle as he leaned against it and stared into the fire gripping a bottle of Agriggio Pavali in his other hand. It was the second bottle of the night, and though it was more than half way empty he still hadn't achieved the complete numbness he desired. He felt ashamed, he had actually cried, and in front of another person no less. Of course, Anna was kind and understanding and did not judge, but it didn't help him feel any better. He was a man and a warrior, and as such he shouldn't cry or be emotional. The mage had a more profound effect on him than he had thought, and it almost made Fenris regretful. Was sex really worth it?

He took another swig from the bottle then looked down at it; it would be empty soon and he was reluctant to open the last bottle he had left since he was saving it for a special occasion, which was coming up soon. Though his mind wasn't completely numb yet, he already felt light-headed and his vision was a little blurry. Fenris began contemplating simply going to bed, hoping he was drunk enough to not dream that night, as his dreams seemed to bring the mage with them lately. He suddenly heard the door to his mansion open and someone ascending the stairs to his room. Fenris sighed quietly in irritation, not really in the mood for company. He hated being checked in on.

"I don't feel like talking right now, Hawke."

...was what he was about to say, until he heard his visitor speak.

"What are you getting wasted for now, elf?"

Fenris's eyes widened slightly, every muscle in his body tensed. He slowly turned his head to look at Anders standing in the doorway, having to blink a couple of times to clear his vision. The mage entered his room and stopped a short distance from Fenris. The elf couldn't find his voice for some reason, and his mouth felt dry all of a sudden. Fenris could only stare. He hadn't seen the mage at all in two weeks and something seemed different about him, but at the same time there was nothing different at all. Anders still looked the same, was the same, but Fenris felt a strange urge. Now that he saw him, he wanted the mage more than ever. Perhaps it was the allure of taking something that was no longer his.

Anders spoke up first, "What's with that look? It's only been a couple of weeks, but you look like you haven't seen me in years."

Fenris quickly forced an annoyed frown on his face. "I'm just a little disappointed it hasn't been that long. I was kind of enjoying my vacation from a certain annoying, whiny mage."

Anders folded his arms and snorted. "Hmmph, there's a surprise." he muttered with sarcasm.

Fenris turned away to look back at the fire, not wanting to look at Anders anymore. The mage couldn't have chosen a worse time to come to the mansion, Fenris wasn't at his best when he was intoxicated. "What do you want, mage?"

"I came to see what you wanted."

Fenris quickly looked back at him. "What? What are you talking about?"

Anders unfolded his arms and reached into his coat pocket then took something out. "You came to the clinic, didn't you?" he asked, holding up the jar of balm.

Fenris went rigid, he had forgotten all about the jar. He'd been so stunned by the conversation he overheard that he hadn't realized he'd dropped the jar right outside the door. Now the mage knew he had been looking for him, and now he had to come up with an explanation.

Fenris quickly turned away again, trying to maintain a cool façade. "I just wanted to return it, I have no need for it."

Anders returned the jar to his pocket. "Considering you get into battles often, it seems more logical to have it. But if you don't want it..."

"I don't." Fenris responded bluntly.

Anders frowned, examining Fenris closely for a moment, then simply shrugged. "Fine, have it your way. But was that all you wanted?"

"What else could I possibly need from you?" Fenris asked, his voice coming out colder than he had intended. He wished the mage would hurry up and leave before he lost his composure. His decision making skills were compromised when he was drunk, and he didn't want to reveal anything to Anders that he'd regret.

Anders narrowed his eyes slightly and his mouth became taught, giving the impression of a deep frown. He then shook his head with a sigh. "Nothing, I guess." he muttered.

He almost sounded hurt, and Fenris felt some guilt, but he couldn't let up. If the mage didn't leave, Fenris wasn't sure what would happen. As much as he wanted him to leave, though, he also wanted him to stay. Perhaps they could talk, just for a while. He didn't really want to let things end on a bad note. Fenris took a silent breath through his nose and exhaled slowly. "How is Lenora?" he made himself ask, unsure of why he chose her as the subject.

Anders put his hands in his pockets. "Pretty good. She's excited because she gets to go back home to Ferelden soon. There's a ship that goes back and forth from Kirkwall and Ferelden every couple of weeks; we're waiting for it to return. Hopefully we can talk the captain into giving passage to a couple of stray travelers, but if the pay is good enough he'll most likely accept."

"That's...good. I am glad..." Fenris murmured. Another lie. How many lies had he told since this all began?

Anders nodded. "Me too, I just want her to be happy." He glanced down with a small smile. "That's all that matters."

Fenris continued to stare into the fire. The heat of the flames made him think of the burning feeling he felt inside. He shouldn't have started this conversation.

"So, what about you?" Anders asked.

"I'm fine." Fenris answered quickly.

"No, I mean your woman."

Fenris went cold. He could feel the color drain from his face, though with his dark complexion it wouldn't be obvious. He quickly turned to face Anders. "What?"

Anders smirked slightly, though there didn't seem to be any amusement in his eyes. "Yeah, I heard. A woman named Anna, right? Heard she was a looker."

Fenris felt his skin prickling with rising goosebumps. He didn't have to guess who the mage heard the news from. Damn dwarf.

Fenris glanced away, feeling a bit irate that the mage seemed unaffected by the news of him having a new partner. "She's...good. She owns a bakery in Lowtown, makes a pretty good living that way. She is a good woman."

"And in bed?"

The elf cringed discreetly at the question. It was an awkward subject to talk about with a former partner, but he wouldn't let the mage catch on to how much it bothered him. He simply looked back at Anders with a mischievous grin. "Incredible. She's quite...pleasant." That, at least, wasn't a lie. Fenris watched the mage closely for some kind of reaction.

Anders's little smirk never left his face. He gave an understanding nod of his head. "Sex with a woman is pretty good, isn't it? It's nice to have experience with both genders."

Fenris felt his anger starting to rise and gripped the bottle in his hand. The glass creaked slightly in his grip and he eased up before it shattered. Why? Why did the mage seem so unaffected? Why was Fenris the only one to feel bothered by the thought of his former partner with someone else? Why was he the only one feeling the pain of jealousy? It wasn't fair.

Fenris took another swig from the bottle then smirked at the mage. "Hmmph, it certainly is. I'm glad I gave it a try. Compared to sex with her, sex with you was actually kind of boring. I never realized what I was really missing." After saying that, he realized that may have been too harsh.

Anders's mouth dropped slightly and his eyebrows raised. For a moment he looked surprised, maybe even hurt, but it passed quickly and his face suddenly became expressionless. "Yeah, I know what you mean." he said in a quiet voice. "There are more things to do with a woman than a man. I guess it makes sense to feel kind of bored with a male partner."

Fenris's anger subsided quickly and was replaced with guilt. He hadn't meant to hurt him. He really shouldn't have started a conversation while he was drunk. Fenris fidgeted uncomfortably, his eyes looking away. "Well, it...it wasn't that boring. I still enjoyed it." he murmured.

Anders shrugged. "No, you're right." he replied with an empty tone. "Women really are better. Sex with a man is fine, but if I had to choose I think I'd pick a female partner over a male pretty much anytime."

Fenris's anger returned almost ten fold. All of his muscles tightened and he looked back at Anders, glaring heatedly. "Is that so?" he asked angrily. "Then you'd pick a woman over me, mage? Well, I feel the same way! I was growing pretty tired of you, too! I'm glad I found someone new as well!"

Anders gave a start, caught off guard by Fenris's sudden outburst. He blinked a couple of times, tilting his head. "What? What are you...?" His confused expression turned into a scowl. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. I don't really care, anyway." He turned away from Fenris. "This is pointless, I'm leaving."

For the second time, Fenris felt a sudden sense of distress staring at Anders's back.

Leaving. The mage was leaving. Not just the mansion, but Kirkwall entirely. And once he arrived in Ferelden, Fenris would never see him again. He'd never have another argument with him, he'd never get to tease him or make fun of him again. And he'd definitely never get to...

A dark expression came over Fenris's face. He hung his head, his long bangs covering his eyes. He felt a wickedness overcoming him.

Anders began to approach the stairs, unaware of the silent predator coming up behind him. He had no idea that the attack was coming until the blow came to the back of his head. He felt the pain for only a brief moment, then everything went black. Anders was unconscious before he even hit the floor.

{*}

(Here comes the yummy, kinky goodness. But if you're not into the whole violent rape thing you might want to make a hop and a skip along to the next part. There's no particularly vital content to the storyline here so you won't miss anything.)

When Anders awoke he opened his eyes to darkness. Though he tried to look around he couldn't see anything through the blindfold that was wrapped around his head. When he tried to open his mouth he found it gagged with a cloth, preventing him from uttering a sound. He tried to move, and realized his hands were bound behind his back. But the worst realization was the fact that his clothes were gone. Anders began to panic and started squirming, but the sound of a cool, familiar voice made him freeze.

"That's a good look for you, mage."

Anders's body filled with chills. It was a familiar line, one similar to a teasing comment he had made only months ago to an adorably shy little elf. But this time it was much more foreboding. Anders gulped, feeling a slight sense of dread coming over him. The intoxicated elf had made him a prisoner.

He was in deep shit.

Fenris stood leaning against the wall by his bed with his arms folded, wearing only his pants and gauntlets. He had been waiting patiently for the mage to regain consciousness. It was difficult keeping himself from doing anything while Anders was unconscious and vulnerable, but now his fun could begin. He pushed off the wall and strolled over with a wicked little smirk on his face as he began removing his pants. "I think this will be much more fun than the other times I tied you up, mage. I've been too gentle with you, so tonight I will enjoy myself to the fullest extent..."

Anders's heart began to race with panic. What in the Maker's name was wrong with him? Even if he was drunk, this was a bit extreme, even for the elf. He felt the bed shift as Fenris climbed onto it and leaned over him, his face hovering just over Anders's.

"I know you like it rough, mage, don't even try to deny it." he said in a smooth, teasing voice. "The way you moan when I'm ramming your ass hard is a dead give away."

When Fenris spoke, Anders could smell the strong scent of alcohol on his breath. It was almost as bad as the first night they'd had sex. The elf had little restraint when he was drunk, and even though the sex was always great Anders had a feeling it would be a little less than pleasant for him this time. And since he was gagged he had no way of trying to talk some sense into the elf.

Fenris lowered himself and pressed his hips into the mage's, letting him feel his erection and desire for his body. He rubbed against Anders's still soft member, pressing against it firmly. "You've said before I'm more like a wild animal than a man, right? My name does mean 'little wolf'. So if I'm the wolf then I guess that makes you my prey."

He brought his lips close to Anders's ear and murmured with a deep, almost menacing voice, "And I'm going to eat you up..."

Anders gulped hard. He couldn't suppress the tremors running through his body at the elf's words. But he couldn't figure out if it was from fear, or excitement. Suddenly, Fenris's weight was lifted off of Anders and he felt the bed shift again to one side, as if the elf were leaning over for something. Anders gasped and bucked his hips when he felt a lukewarm liquid suddenly splashing on his crotch. "Mm!"

Fenris tilted the bottle of wine he had been drinking, pouring some of it on Anders's groin. "If this thing has been inside of that woman then I don't want to put it in my mouth unclean." He tilted the bottle back up before it was emptied, then gulped down what was left. After he drained it, he flung the empty bottle aside and shattered it on a wall.

Fenris eyed his 'meal' with a wolfish grin. He ran his tongue over his lips as the desire to ravage his helpless prey gripped him. He didn't care about consequences anymore, he was too drunk to care, he just wanted the mage. Getting down between Anders's legs, he grabbed beneath the mage's knees and roughly forced his legs open. Fenris frowned with some disappointment at the other man's soft manhood. He would have to fix that.

Anders was horrified to feel that the elf hadn't removed his gauntlets. When Fenris grabbed Anders's legs he had felt the sharp points pressing into his skin. If the elf decided to get too rough while wearing them...

He was distracted from that thought when he felt the elf's lips kissing the inside of his thigh teasingly close to his groin. Fenris kissed along the mage's inner thigh, moving in closer until he almost reached his manhood, then switched to the other thigh, doing the same. Anders felt the warm tongue sliding along his inner thigh, tickling his skin and creating excitement in his body. Those soft lips sucked lightly and teasingly slow, and the wet tongue left a trail of warm saliva as the elf slid it along close to his groin only to pull away again before touching it. Only Fenris's hair brushed against it, but it was all the stimulation that was needed. Anders bit down, gritting his teeth on the gag as he felt his body betray him and his soft member slowly start to grow erect at Fenris's familiar touch. Though his mind objected to the situation, his body didn't care. It wanted the elf.

Fenris licked his lips and looked over to see the mage was finally growing hard. He grinned and slowly ran his tongue along the wine soaked manhood. He caressed the underside with his lips in a light kiss and teased the hardening erection with the tip of his tongue. Anders began to squirm in protest, but Fenris tightened his grip on the other man's thighs, making the tips of his gauntlets dig into the mage's flesh, but not enough to break the skin. The warning caused Anders to freeze, quickly giving up his struggle. Fenris grinned cruelly and slid the head of the mage's erection into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the tip, loving the sweet taste the wine gave it.

Fenris pulled away from Anders's erection, not wanting to grant him relief too soon, and spread the mage's legs wider. He lowered himself between them and started sucking on the skin of Anders's scrotum. The Aggregio Pavali had spilled all over it as well, providing the same sweet taste as the mage's erection. Fenris licked and sucked the skin clean, hearing the mage's muffled groans through the gag. He felt some disappointment at not being able to hear Anders's sounds of pleasure more clearly, but he had no desire to hear anything the mage would have to say. Fenris slid his tongue down to the wet anus and it twitched in response to his tongue flicking over it. Anders jerked his hips with a grunt of objection but another firm squeeze from Fenris's sharp gauntlets ceased his struggles once more.

Fenris grinned in amusement and used his thumb to play with the mage's asshole, watching it pucker at his touch. "Even if you didn't miss me, mage, your ass at least has. It's been three weeks since it's even been touched, right? Or does Lenora have a kinky side as well?" Anders froze and his body seemed to tense at the mention of Lenora. Fenris smirked. "No matter. No one knows your ass like me, mage, and no one can have it but me. This part of you is mine alone..."

Fenris began prodding Anders's asshole with his tongue then slipped it inside and felt it give his tongue a squeeze. He pushed his tongue in deep, swirling it around and relishing the way the mage squirmed for him. He grasped Anders's throbbing erection and began stroking it roughly while tonguing his asshole. His dick was hard and hot in his hand and pulsing with excitement. Fenris felt his own erection burning with desire as he began jerking Anders off harder. The way the mage's insides contracted and hugged Fenris's tongue made the elf want to replace his tongue with his dick and violate the ass he hadn't felt in three weeks, but he resisted the urge.

He wasn't done tormenting the mage yet.

Fenris squeezed and stroked Anders's dick fervently. He could feel the mage's heart racing from the rapid pulsing in his erection. He slid his tongue up from Anders's asshole and back to his dick, dragging his tongue along the underside and giving the head a flick. The mage squirmed and moved his hips, raising them to press his erection to Fenris's lips as if wanting more. Fenris grinned wickedly and slowed his hand movements, hearing Anders make a groan of frustration. He sat up on his knees and continued stroking the mage's dick roughly but slowly, loving the way he reacted to all of his teasing.

Fenris chuckled. "You really are a slutty little mage, aren't you? You're getting excited and we've barely just begun. I guess it doesn't matter who your partner is, does it?"

He leaned forward and pressed his hips into Anders's, letting his erection rub against the mage's. He kept Anders's manhood pressed into his palm and wrapped his thumb over the top of his own, squeezing them together. Fenris began stroking them both while grinding their hips together. The heat coming from the mage's dick felt like it could melt his own erection and he let out a low groan of pleasure at the feeling. Anders arched his back and began moving his hips with Fenris's, seeming desperate for his climax. Fenris leaned down bringing his face to the mage's chest and flicked his tongue on an erect nipple then sucked on it lightly. He heard the mage try to suppress a groan and grabbed the nipple in his teeth, giving it a rough pull. Anders made a sharp gasp through his nose and arched his back. Fenris released his nipple and flicked his tongue over the swollen, pink flesh. His desire was growing to be almost unbearable the more he teased Anders. Fenris thrust his hips harder against the mage's, rubbing the two erections together roughly as both men made moans and groans of sexual excitement.

Fenris moved his head up beside Anders's and ran his tongue up the side of his neck to his ear. He murmured into it with his deep, sexy voice, "Do you want to come?"

Anders turned his head away, taking deep breaths through his nose and stopped moving his hips almost immediately. Fenris frowned in irritation at the mage's stubbornness, then simply grinned. All he had to do was break the defiant little mage, he knew his body well enough to do so. Fenris would make him want it, whether the mage liked it or not.

He thrust his hips harder and faster, rubbing the two erections together with more force. He started feeling light-headed, his orgasm was growing closer, but he didn't want to come just yet. He wanted to make the mage cave first. Fenris kissed along Anders's jaw and pressed his face against the side of the mage's head, giving it a light nuzzle as he groaned softly in Anders's ear. He bit down on the outer rim of his ear, giving it a nibble and making Anders let out a moan. Fenris released the other man's ear and took a deep breath through his nose, inhaling the mage's scent. It was salty and musky compared to Anna's sweet perfumed smell, but it was just as arousing. His excitement grew until he felt himself on the verge, but he fought against his climax. Fenris could feel the mage was close to coming as well.

"Do you want to come, mage?" he asked again, his voice coming out in a breathy whisper.

Anders still kept his head turned away, but Fenris could see the mage's face growing red with embarrassment. He would have to try a little harder to break him. Fenris pressed down harder on Anders's dick and the other man let out a loud groan behind the gag. He raised his hips in response to Fenris's action, rubbing desperately against the elf. He was close to giving in. Fenris reluctantly stopped moving his hips and felt the mage's throbbing erection twitch against his as if in protest at being denied its pleasure. Fenris let go of their erections and grasped Anders's jaw, turning his face back to him. He gripped the mage's face so he couldn't turn away from him again. Even though he was blindfolded, Fenris wanted Anders to face him.

"Do you want it?" he asked again firmly.

Fenris saw Anders's Adam's apple rise and lower again as the mage swallowed hard. His breath came out in heavy pants through his nose, and Fenris could hear the mage's heart beating rapidly in his chest. Anders gave one curt nod of his head and Fenris grinned in satisfaction. "That's a good little mage..." he said teasingly, brushing his lips over gag as he spoke. He wanted to kiss Anders, to feel his lips and tongue once more, but he didn't want to remove the gag and let the mage so much as open his mouth.

Or did he?

Fenris suddenly pulled away and climbed off of Anders, having a good idea for a way to get them both off. Sex with Anna had proven to be rather educational.

When Fenris got off the bed Anders moved his head as if to look around despite being blindfolded and unable to see. As soon as Fenris climbed back on and the mage felt that he was positioned by his head, he seemed to tense, most likely confused. Fenris stood kneeling over the mage's face while facing the foot of the bed. He reached down and roughly yanked the gag down from Anders's mouth.

The mage took a deep breath through his mouth and tilted his head back to Fenris. "Elf, stop, Lenora's-mmph!"

Fenris roughly shoved his erection into the mage's open mouth and silenced him. "Shut up." he ordered. "I'll not have you saying your lover's name while you're with me." He slid his erection in deep, making the other man squirm in discomfort from the awkward position. Fenris began moving his hips slowly, watching the mage take almost the whole length of his erection. He realized he actually missed the sight and feel of Anders's sucking him off. He almost didn't want to take his eyes off of him.

Fenris looked back to the mage's erection; it twitched and throbbed, looking like it was on the verge of bursting. He decided he'd finally give it the relief it so desperately needed. While continuing to make the mage suck his dick, Fenris moved down to Anders's erection and grasped it once more. He swirled his tongue around the head, tasting a mixture of sweet wine and salty semen. He moved his hips slowly, pumping his manhood in and out of Anders's mouth, and went down all the way on the mage's erection. Anders let out a muffled moan around Fenris's manhood and the elf shuddered in pleasure at the feeling. He started moving his head quickly, slurping and sucking Anders's sticky erection roughly until all the wine had been cleaned off. Fenris took the mage's dick deep and hard into his mouth, squeezing and stroking the bottom of the base. He could already feel it throbbing harder with its oncoming orgasm.

Anders moaned intensely and squirmed beneath Fenris, thrusting his hips into the elf's mouth as he grew closer. He tilted his head back, giving Fenris's own erection deeper access into his hot, tight mouth almost all the way down to his throat. Fenris felt Anders on the verge of coming and took in the entire length of his dick when he came. The whole load of his hot semen spilled down the elf's throat. Fenris gulped it down eagerly, the familiar taste lingering even after it was all gone. He continued sucking the other man's erection, making sure he had drawn out every drop, then slowly pulled up. He pushed up on his hands and looked beneath him, watching the mage suck his dick as he continued moving his hips.

Fenris moaned and licked his lips at the sight. He longed to make Anders swallow his load again like in the past. "Did you miss sucking my dick, mage?" he asked with a grin. He knew Anders couldn't answer, of course, but he felt some excitement in teasing and embarrassing the mage. He slid his dick in and out faster, feeling it swell with the desire for sweet release. The mage seemed to be caught up in the act and sucked harder, no longer fighting back against him.

"Mmm...you're doing a great job for someone who's supposed to be an unwilling participant. Do you just want to taste my cum again? Whose flavor do you crave more? Mine, or that Lenora woman?"

Anders suddenly stopped and grew tense with anger. Without warning, he jerked his leg back toward the elf. Fenris looked up just in time to get a knee in the eye. He let out an angry hiss grabbing his face and roughly grasped Anders's thigh with the other hand. Without thinking, he jerked his hand down and the sharp points of his gauntlets dragged along the mage's flesh, leaving five trails of crimson lines in his skin.

Anders let out a muffled cry of pain and surprise and arched his back sharply. Fenris gasped and yanked his hand away, looking up wide-eyed at the injury he'd inflicted with his own hand. A sudden thrill filled his body and heightened his excitement, pushing him past his limit, and he let out an intense cry of ecstasy, coming deep inside the mage's mouth. He shuddered from the waves of pleasure rushing through his body. He left his erection in the mage's mouth, forcing him to swallow his load. Anders panted heavily through his nose and Fenris pulled out to let the mage breathe.

Anders gasped deeply for air and coughed hard, seeming barely able to catch his breath. He opened his mouth and made an attempt to speak. "F...Fe..." The mage was too out of breath to even say Fenris's name.

Fenris could only look down at the mage then back at his thigh, at his wounds. It wasn't bleeding very much, the cuts weren't that deep. But still, Fenris had hurt him. Even if it had been an accident, he had still done it. But most surprising was the realization of how it made him feel.

Excited.

A sadistic grin slowly crept across his face and his erection began to throb with excitement again. Tonight, he was going to engrave his memory into the mage's mind. And body.

Anders seemed to finally catch his breath, but before he could utter his first word, Fenris quickly jerked the gag back into place. "Be a good, obedient little mage and take it. You don't want me to punish you again, do you?" he asked mockingly.

Fenris could see Anders's jaw clench in anger, and his eyebrows slanted beneath the blindfold. The elf grinned and leaned forward over Anders, taking hold of the mage's injured leg and grasped it behind the thigh. He brought his face close to the wounds and ran his tongue along one of the cuts, feeling a shiver of excitement at the feel of his tongue in the shallow dip in the skin. He felt Anders tense his leg as if he were going to attack again, but a sharp grip of the elf's gauntlets made him give pause and seem to reconsider. Fenris chuckled and kissed the beautiful carvings on the mage's flesh. His blood had a coppery taste to it compared to his salty semen. Fenris wasn't sure which one he liked more.

Fenris released Anders's thigh and climbed off the bed, returning to the spot between the mage's legs. He got on his knees and took hold of Anders's erection, gripping it tightly and feeling the rapid pulsing in his hand. He started stroking it hard, smirking in amusement. "Amazing, you're still this hard. Do you like the pain, mage? You really are kinky, aren't you?"

He chuckled when he saw the mage's face turning red again, but knew that it was in anger this time. He didn't care though, he was going to make sure the mage would remember him always. Fenris released Anders's dick and took hold of his own, positioning the head for the mage's anus. He rubbed the tip against it teasingly and watched it twitch in response, as if wanting him inside it.

Fenris pressed and rubbed the head of his erection on the tight opening with a delighted grin. "At least your asshole wants me. It must know who it really belongs to..."

Before Fenris could enter, Anders closed his legs hard, denying the elf access. Fenris scowled angrily and forced his hands between the mage's legs and roughly shoved them open again, his gauntlets once again tearing into Anders's flesh. The mage threw his head back with a muffled shout as the new wounds bled lightly. Fenris spread Anders's legs wide and positioned himself again, then shoved his dick all the way in. Anders made a gasp and his hips jolted. Fenris groaned at the way the mage's insides squeezed his throbbing manhood.

He looked at Anders with a cruel grin. "What's wrong, mage, does it hurt? I guess three weeks is too long to go shoving it in without preparing your asshole first. Shame though, because it feels great for me..."

He began moving his hips slowly but roughly at first. The mage's body tensed tightly, making his insides grip Fenris's dick with each thrust. Anders groaned and writhed as Fenris began to pick up speed. He laid on top of Anders, pressing their firm, tight bodies together, and moved his entire body along the mage's while continuing to drive himself into his ass. Fenris pressed his abs against the mage's erection, feeling it growing hot from the friction of being rubbed between their bodies. Anders's manhood was still rock hard and filled with arousal.

Fenris chuckled deviously. "Your body is awfully honest, mage. You're getting excited from being raped. You really are a kinky little slut."

Anders gritted his teeth hard trying to suppress his groans of pain, but his voice continued to rumble in his throat. Soon, his body began to relax and started to feel slight pleasure, though he almost hated feeling any at all. Anders squeezed his eyes shut tightly behind the blindfold still feeling pain, but not just the physical pain from the rape. It was painful how familiar yet foreign the hands that touched him and the body that pressed into his were. It was painful how the hips that melted into his with each violent thrust used to bring his body such great excitement and ecstasy, but now only brought agony. It was painful how the very same act he'd committed dozens of times over the months for pleasure was now being used to torture him. But most of all, it was painful how the person raping him was once his playful, passionate partner, but was now a cruel, sadistic stranger. The elf's betrayal was almost as painful as the act itself.

Fenris moaned and gripped Anders's hips harder, his sharp gauntlets digging into the mage's skin and leaving behind more wounds created by the elf's twisted excitement. Anders's eyes began to sting as hot tears filled them, but he refused to let them fall.

Fenris started ramming into Anders's ass harder, moaning intensely in pleasured ecstasy. The mage's insides reacted wonderfully with each deep thrust he made and seemed to suck his dick in eagerly. Fenris chuckled with an amused smirk. "Your ass is loving it, mage. You have a lewd body, don't you? Your heart may be able to love only that woman, but your body will love anyone who pleasures it, won't it?"

Anders tensed and struggled, but didn't seem to have much fight left in him anymore. Fenris grinned in delight at having broken him. The sight of the mage being subjugated to him once more only heightened his excitement. "You like being 'eaten up', mage, so quit pretending. Lenora may have you all to herself once you go back to Ferelden and get married, but for tonight, you're _mine!_" To emphasize the last part, Fenris gave a deep, hard thrust and drew a loud moan from the mage's gagged mouth. The more he screwed Anders's ass, the more excited the other man became. His body was a slave to Fenris's pleasure, and the mage never even realized it.

Fenris leaned forward and pressed his face against the mage's neck, listening to the sounds of pleasure and ecstasy that were confined to his throat. He drove himself deeper and harder into Anders's tight, hot ass letting out loud groans as his body was gripped with sexual excitement. Fenris flicked his tongue on the skin of the mage's neck, then suddenly bit down roughly, making the other man's body jerk in surprise as he let out a muffled yelp. Fenris grinned in the bite, digging his teeth harder into the mage's flesh then pulled back some to admire the mark he had left on the mage. He wished it'd stay there permanently. Despite his pain, Anders seemed to be getting closer and his insides clenched Fenris's erection. The elf moaned intensely as the mage's rising orgasm brought him closer to his own.

Anders moaned and gasped harder then arched his back, letting out a muffled cry as his load shot out between their bodies, their flesh becoming slick with his hot, sticky semen. Fenris tensed, gripping the mage's hips tightly then let out a loud moan of pleasure and shoved himself all the way in, spilling his entire load deep inside of the mage. He felt slightly dizzy from the amazing orgasm and pressed his lips hard against Anders's over the gag. It wasn't a real kiss, but it was close enough.

Fenris panted heavily, letting out a soft groan of satisfaction. He collapsed on top of Anders, his head rested on the other man's shoulder. "That felt great," he murmured. "it's been weeks since I've been able to come inside."

He opened his eyes to look at the mage's neck and kissed the bite mark lightly. Anders turned his head away sharply in anger. Fenris smirked, sitting back up on his knees again. "Still being stubborn? That's fine. Resist all you want, you're still my prey for the night. Don't worry, I'll return you to your precious Lenora, but you'll be a little worse for the wear..."

Anders growled in anger and suddenly struck out with his foot, but Fenris was prepared this time. He ducked to the side and caught Anders's leg under his arm, grinning wickedly. "You really are a glutton for punishment, aren't you, mage? You must have been a real pain in the ass for the templars. But unlike them, I don't have to follow any rules and hold back."

Fenris yanked Anders over roughly and flipped him on to his stomach. He grabbed his hips and pulled them up into the air, forcing the mage on his knees. Fenris squeezed Anders's ass, pressing the sharp points into his skin again. He spread the mage open, revealing the red, swollen hole he'd just violated. Fenris licked it and teased it with his tongue again, tasting his salty semen with a light hint of blood from the torn flesh. Anders groaned, clenching his fists tightly and moved his hips while Fenris moved his tongue in and out. He fondled the mage's erection, cradling the head in his palm and rubbing the wet tip in circular motions. Anders buried his face against the bed, but couldn't hide how good he was feeling.

Fenris slipped his tongue back out and positioned the head of his erection again, then slid himself in deep, squeezing the mage's ass hard. He went in more easily this time, his own semen acting as a lubricant. He moved his hips slowly, pushing deep to rub the head of his dick against Anders's prostate. The mage's hot, warm insides tensed each time Fenris thrust into his ass, drawing a low groan of pleasure from his lips as his hard erection was squeezed repeatedly. "Ahh...your ass is really gripping me, mage...at least it still likes me"

Fenris began moving his hips faster, thrusting into Anders with more force and watched the mage squirm and moan in ecstasy, feeling even greater pleasure. Fenris bent over, pressing his body to the mage's back and rested his head on his shoulder-blade. He started ramming the mage's ass faster and harder, their moans growing louder and more intense by the second. He wrapped his arms around Anders's upper body, gripping his abs and chest tightly. Fenris raised himself a little more on his legs, getting into a slight crouch and drove himself even deeper into the mage. Despite having just climaxed, the two men moaned and gasped in their sexual thrill, growing ever closer to orgasmic bliss again.

Fenris gripped Anders's body more tightly as if not wanting to let go. He lifted his head to speak into Anders's ear, murmuring in a breathless voice, "Come for me again, mage, just like you always have...just like when you were still mine."

When Anders tried to struggle again Fenris dug the tips of his gauntlets into the mage's flesh more, dragging them and leaving more trails of painful markings. "This is your own fault you know... Didn't I tell you? You're mine..."

As Fenris got closer he groaned and started moving his hips more roughly, driving into Anders even harder and making the other man moan in a combination of pain and pleasure. "I warned you...what would happen if you forgot...ahhn...I may not be able to stop you from leaving...but I'll fill your insides with my cum until they're overflowing...I'll engrave my memory into your mind and flesh..."

He grabbed Anders's hips once more and squeezed until the sharp points pierced the skin. "You will...never forget me...!" Fenris's body tensed then he gave a hard final thrust into Anders's ass with a cry of pleasure and filled the mage's insides with more of his hot, thick semen.

Anders growled in pain but couldn't ignore the overwhelming pleasure and growing climax. His muffled cry was barely silenced by the gag as the burst of intense pleasure wracked his body and a large load was released from his dick. He shuddered hard, unable to suppress the tremors in his body. Anders groaned softly, feeling slight relief, and struggled to catch his breath through his nose. Fenris pulled out of his ass and let him go, allowing the mage to fall over on his side, weak and exhausted. The pain and pleasure were too much, the elf's insane jealousy had finally driven him mad.

A wicked chuckle made Anders's blood run cold.

"Don't think we're done, mage. I've only just begun... You're not getting away from me until I'm satisfied. And I'm not even close yet."

Anders gulped hard as panic drove away his fatigue. Fenris suddenly grabbed his leg and raised it up, then shoved himself into the mage's ass once more while he lay on his side. Anders let out a shout as the elf began roughly pounding into his sore hole again. He struggled and squirmed but could do nothing as the elf mercilessly violated him again.

Anders couldn't free himself, he couldn't fight back or speak. He was a helpless to the elf's twisted depravity.

He was, in every sense of the word, screwed.

* * *

By the time Anders regained consciousness he'd lost count of how many times Fenris had raped him. He groaned lightly, his body gripped with agony. The mage was covered in wounds, bite marks and claw marks that made him look every bit the part of a wolf's prey. His anus burned from the harsh treatment, and his insides were filled with the elf's hot, thick semen. It spilled out of his sore orifice making the torn flesh sting. He had finally been released from his bondage, and his wrists ached where the tight ropes had dug into his skin creating rope burn. He was in pain all over. Anders could hardly move, but looked around for the elf. He tilted his head to look past the foot of the bed and saw Fenris sitting on one of the benches to the side of the fireplace. He sat hunched over with his head down, his bangs concealing the top half of his face.

"Go ahead and hate me," he muttered, not looking at Anders. "it's not like it'd be any different from before."

The elf glanced over at the fire, unable to even face the mage. Now that he'd sobered up, he was actually appalled at what he had done. He never would have thought he was capable of such cruelty. Not even toward a mage. Especially Anders.

"Don't worry, you'll never be troubled by me again. I will keep my distance until you and Lenora return to Ferelden like you planned. You will...not see me again." He closed his eyes and lowered his head again, ready for the mage's furious onslaught.

Anders stared at Fenris in silence for a moment then rolled his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"Lenora is not my lover. She never was."

Fenris's eyes widened.

Anders closed his eyes. "She's like a little sister to me, I adore her but there were never any romantic feelings between us. I have no intention of going back to Ferelden with her, and we're not getting married."

Fenris turned his head to look at the mage in anger. "Bullshit! I heard you two talking! When I went to the clinic I overheard you making plans!"

Anders tilted his head to look at the elf again, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "What? What are you talking about? I was at the Hanged Man talking with Varric earlier. I wasn't even at the clinic."

Fenris stood quickly turning to face Anders. He was starting to get a sickening feeling in his stomach. Something wasn't right. "That's impossible, I know what I heard when I was outside the clinic! You...you two were...!"

Anders narrowed his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about, elf. I think you've just gone mad."

Fenris scowled. "I'm not mad, '_Andy_'." His voice had a hint of contempt in it when he used Lenora's nickname for the mage.

Anders blinked. "Andy...? You mean Andru?"

Fenris's draw dropped.

Andru. The young mage who had been part of the group that informed Anders about the plan to make Lenora Tranquil. Now that Fenris thought about it, he had said something about being a Ferelden Circle mage as well.

Anders let out a dry, humorless laugh. "You bloody idiot... Lenora and Andru are the ones in love. It was him and Lenora you heard talking, not me and Lenora! I had gone to the Hanged Man to give them some privacy."

Fenris stared at the mage, dumbfounded. His mind had gone blank, he didn't even know what to say.

Anders shook his head closing his eyes. "Andru and Lenora met in the Ferelden Circle. He was sent there a couple of years after her. Even though they were prisoners in the tower they were happy together. It was understandable, having a lover to share your problems with made the Circle just a little more bearable..." Anders took a deep breath and tried not to think about Karl as he continued. "They were together for almost a year before a templar...tried to assault Lenora. When Andru intervened he was brutally beaten and may have even been killed if Knight Commander Greagoir hadn't stopped the bastard. But when they told him what had happened he just said 'it would handled' and dismissed them. He did nothing."

Anders opened his eyes again and stared up at the ceiling. "That's when they decided to break out and run away together. There was a templar who was actually related to Andru. He had known Andru his whole life and knew he was a good man, so he decided to help them. He destroyed their phylacteries so they could escape. But the escape didn't go too well. They were discovered and pursued, and while running along a narrow path on a ravine Lenora's foot slipped on the edge and she fell down the side to the bottom (Fatal Frame II copy cat -_-). Andru had no way to get to her and the templars caught her. She was brought back to the tower and he escaped alone. I don't think he ever forgave himself for making it without her..." He murmured the last part, remembering a similar feeling of guilt when he got out after being recruited into the Grey Wardens.

Anders sighed. "After they brought her back they 'dealt with' the templar accomplice, and locked Lenora up for half a year. We thought we'd heard the last of Andru, but that romantic bastard never gave up on her. He started writing Lenora a couple of months after the escape, but she never wanted to try and break out again. She was terrified after what had happened to her. So they stuck to exchanging letters all this time. They never gave up on each other even though they thought they would never be together again."

Fenris just stared blankly at the naked, wounded mage lying on his bed, trying to process what he'd just heard. But there were still some things that didn't make sense to him. "But...then why was she with you and not Andru after she got out of the Gallows?"

Anders sighed in frustration. "Because like I said before, my clinic was the safest place to hide her."

"But she was in your room! Sleeping in your bed after a 'rough' night!"

"Well there's only one bed, you know. I slept on a cot and let her have the bed. And the escape didn't go as smoothly as we had planned. Lenora had trouble keeping up with more active mages."

"Then why was her ass sore?"

"When we scaled a wall Lenora dropped too soon and fell back on her bottom. It was a little funny. Afterwards, I mean."

Fenris felt numb. Everything made sense now. He had let his mind analyze everything the wrong way over an emotion as petty as jealousy, and did something terrible as a result. He began to feel a myriad of unpleasant emotions: humiliation, remorse, shame, then anger.

It was the mage's fault, it had to be. He shouldn't have made him misunderstand things. He shouldn't have been so misleading. He should have explained things sooner.

"Get out."

Anders's eyes widened and he forced himself to sit up, though the agonizing pain made his aching muscles scream in protest. _"What?"_

Fenris wouldn't look at him as he grabbed his vest and put it on quickly. "Leave!"

Anders huffed in disbelief. "Are you serious? _You_ rape _me_, _you_ abuse _me_, and _you're_ pissed off?! How in the-?"

"Don't be here when I come back." Fenris said angrily as he stormed out of his room.

He stomped down the stairs quickly then flung open the mansion's front door and slammed it behind him, disappearing into the dark night.

{*}

Anna answered the door wearily and warily, opening it just a crack and peering out into the dark Lowtown night. Visitors at this time of night was never good. She had been fast asleep when she heard the frantic knocking on her door. She rubbed her eye sleepily then blinked a couple of times in surprise when her vision focused on Fenris. He stood with his head down, wearing only his vest and pants. He was silent, as if not knowing what to say. Anna opened the door wider. "Fenris? Y-you're back again? It's only been..."

"I...I did not know where else to go. I had to get away." Fenris murmured sadly.

Anna looked at him silently, sensing a situation worse than the one before. She stepped aside and ushered him in. "Come on."

Fenris walked in past her, still not looking at her, and moved into the room between her bedroom and kitchen area, plopping down on one of the chairs by the fire. He sat hunched over and staring at the ground as Anna came in and took a seat on the arm of the chair, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Talk to me, sweetie. What happened?"

Fenris continued to look down, feeling too ashamed to even look at her. He clutched his hands together and his body rocked slightly. He swallowed hard before beginning. "The mage came by my place a couple of hours ago." he finally managed to say after a moment of silence. "I was drunk and...I did not handle things well..."

Anna gave his shoulder a gentle rub. "Come on, it couldn't have been that bad."

"I violently raped him, then ran off and left him afterwards."

Anna blinked, her whole body stiffened. "Oh. Well. That...that's a little... i-is he alright?"

Fenris sighed and held his head in his hands. "I am unsure, but he is a healer and can use healing magic on himself. Otherwise I'd be more concerned."

Fenris cringed when he felt Anna's warm, comforting touch pull away from him. He must be no better than some brute to her now. "I can't blame you if you're afraid of me. I think I frighten myself now." He smirked bitterly with a shake of his head.

Anna's arms returned and embraced him tightly. "That's not true, I know you'd never hurt me like that." She hesitated a moment. "You are sober again, right?"

"Yes..."

"Then I'm not afraid."

Fenris let out a small sigh then stood, pulling away from her embrace. He felt unworthy of her comfort. He hadn't even told her the whole story yet. "I haven't gotten to the best part." He spoke ironically.

Anna watched him as he began to pace, getting an uneasy feeling. "Best part?" she asked curiously.

There wasn't much room for pacing in the small space, so Fenris merely passed back and forth in front of the fireplace anxiously. He was unsure of how to explain the part of the night that made him the most ashamed of himself. He took a breath, then let it back out. "Lenora and the mage aren't lovers. He never left me for her, and he was never leaving Kirkwall with her."

Anna's jade eyes widened with a look of shock. "What? But I thought-"

"As did I." Fenris said. "But as it turns out I was mistaken. I overheard Lenora talking to another Ferelden mage, one who had been in the same Circle as them and had been her actual lover. All this time I had been so focused on thinking the mage used me then left me for another I never stopped to think I may be misunderstanding things."

Fenris stopped and stared into the fire, shaking his head. "It's as if some sort of cosmic force is toying with my life, using it for its own twisted sense of entertainment and amusement." Fenris closed his eyes. "I hurt him...and I did it for no reason at all. I truly am a beast." he murmured softly.

Anna looked at him sadly then stood and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "That's not true, Fenris. You were upset and-"

"Who else but a beast would do such a thing?" Fenris asked, raising his voice a little, though it sounded more sad than angry.

Anna stared at him in silence for a moment, then opened her mouth to respond, but before she could answer her bedroom door suddenly opened and both turned to look. A drowsy looking man stood in the doorway wearing only pants. He yawned and scratched his short, scruffy black hair. "Hey, Anna, is someone...?"

He blinked and froze spotting Fenris and Anna standing together in front of the fireplace. "Oh." He looked surprised and confused. "Uh, hi. I didn't know you had company..." He cleared his throat. "If you want to get another guy involved, it's fine and all, but I'm kind of tired and-"

"Oh, go back to bed, you!" Anna fussed. "My friend is very upset and I'm trying to comfort him."

The other man looked startled. "Oh, your friend. A-alright, sorry to interrupt. Guess I'll just...go back to bed..." He looked at the two awkwardly then simply backed into the room slowly and closed the door.

Anna sighed and shook her head, then looked a bit panicked and quickly turned to Fenris. "This...i-it's not what it seems! Well, it sort of is, but I don't really do things like this! Have multiple partners, I mean. I swear! It's just-"

Fenris stood leaning back against the fireplace with his arms folded and looking down at the ground, his mind already elsewhere. He waved a hand as if waving the matter off and shook his head. "It's fine, don't worry about it." he murmured casually. His mind was too preoccupied with more troubling matters.

"Hmm..."

Anna's hum of amused interest directed his attention back to her and she smiled at him slyly. "For someone prone to severe jealousy, you're taking the matter awfully well."

Fenris blinked and opened his mouth to respond, then shut it again. She was right. He really wasn't all that bothered by the matter. The thought of the mage being with someone else always made him angry in the past, but he was surprisingly calm about this situation. What was different?

As if sensing his thoughts, Anna took Fenris's face in her hands and smiled at him. "Don't you see? It's because you care about him the most. You have strong feelings for him, but you don't want to face them. That's what you're afraid of. That's why you're falling."

Fenris's eyes widened slightly, and his heart began to race. He suddenly felt dizzy and nearly swayed.

He was falling faster.

Fenris pulled away from her, turning and walking over to a couch where he quickly sat before he lost his balance. He sat shaking his head as he stared at the floor. "Impossible" he murmured. "I can't...there's no way I can feel that way about the mage."

"Well, maybe that's the problem, you're thinking of him only as a mage."

Fenris looked up at Anna confused as she moved over and took a seat on the couch next to him, her body turned to face him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Anna gave him a small smile. "Well, I'm just guessing, but I'm assuming his name isn't 'the mage'."

Fenris stared at her silently for a moment and searched his memory. She was right. He had no recollection of saying the mage's name to her. Or often at all, for that matter. There were times during sex where Fenris would be so caught up in the moments of sweet passion and ecstasy that the name tumbled forth from his lips. But afterwards, it'd be locked away in his mind again to collect dust until it slipped out once more.

"Anders." Fenris said softly. "His name is Anders."

The name felt strange to say for some reason. Fenris spoke it so infrequently that saying it didn't feel right. Maybe he really was thinking of Anders only as a mage and not as a person. But wasn't the mage the same? He only addressed him as 'elf' except during moments in sex where he lowered his guard as well and used Fenris's name. Maybe they were simply fueling each others' prejudices. If they tried changing things then maybe...

"What about you?" he asked, trying to distract himself from such thoughts. "What's your man's name?"

Even in the dim glow of the fire he could tell the pale skin of her face was growing red. "G-Gerick. He's a traveling merchant I met a few years ago." she answered nervously, fidgeting uncomfortably. She looked down, as if ashamed. "I really don't do such things, make a habit of having more than one partner, honest. I'm not that kind of woman."

Fenris gave her a teasing smile. "Do you make it a habit of picking up men in bars?"

Anna looked up again quickly. "No, of course not! I just...I thought I was ready to move on from him, and when I saw you at the Hanged Man I thought...we seemed alike."

Fenris tilted his head, furrowing his brow in confusion and Anna continued. "I could see it in your eyes that day; loneliness, regret, sorrow, heartbreak... I felt like you were feeling the same pain as me. It's hard to explain, but for some reason I felt compelled to know you, and thought maybe we could ease each others' pain." Anna looked back down again at her hands in her lap. "I felt better getting to know you, it was comforting. Your company always made the pain seem to go away. I even started to feel a little stronger, more determined to move on."

She closed her eyes, looking sad. "But when he showed up unexpectedly today after you had left, and took me into his arms, kissing me and telling me how much he missed me, I lost all my strength and determination and gave in to my feelings. I really am weak..." she said sadly.

"If you feel so strongly for him, why do you want to end it?" Fenris asked.

Anna opened her eyes again and took a deep breath then sighed. "Well, a couple of months ago a customer of mine told me about her sister who had been in a relationship with a traveling merchant as well. It ended terribly. She had met him at his stall in Hightown and he charmed her. They started a relationship and he stayed with her whenever he had business in Kirkwall. She was completely in love with him. When she found out she was pregnant she was so happy and excited. But when she told him..."

Anna frowned deeply, a hard look in her eyes. "When she told him, he said he wasn't interested. That he already had a child with his wife and one of his other mistresses in another town and didn't want anymore. Then he threw her away like she was nothing and left her alone. He...he was just using her."

Fenris scowled in disgust. To be so cruel was absolutely despicable. But despite his anger, he still didn't understand what it had to do with Anna's situation.

Anna leaned back against the couch and stared down at her lap. "Poor Blaire, she was absolutely heartbroken. She grew depressed, and the further along she got in her pregnancy the worse she became. Then one day she...she..."

Anna's eyes glistened with tears in the fire's light. "She killed herself. She took her own life, and the life her unborn baby."

Fenris's eyes widened and he felt his heart sink. He didn't know what to say. To feel such heartache and sorrow that the only relief was death, he couldn't fathom such a feeling. Fenris had lived a miserable life, true, but he could never imagine going so far as to kill himself in order to escape it. That woman must have been in more pain than he could ever know. And it was all because of one man's despicable, selfish actions.

It felt a little strange to Fenris to actually care so much about the suffering of a complete stranger. In the past he had always felt it was best to keep to himself and out of the affairs of others. Of course he would have pitied the poor woman all the same, but ever since he started his relationship with the mage it was as if all of the feelings and emotions he kept suppressed in order to protect himself had surfaced, making him a more emotional person. It was bothersome, but at the same time he felt he couldn't go back to being distant and uncaring anymore.

Anna clenched her fists in her lap. "It's apparently a common thing among traveling merchants. They find women in the cities they do business in and start relationships with them so they can reap the benefits. A free place to stay, free food, and all the pleasurable company they want without having to visit a brothel. And there are foolish, lonely women out there who actually fall for it, and so many get hurt..."

"And you believe Gerick is using you the same way?" Fenris asked, finally understanding the situation.

Anna sat silent for a moment then shook her head. "I...don't know. I never even thought about such a thing before I heard about Blaire. I never suspected Gerick to be a liar, or insincere about our relationship. He's kind and sweet, and I...uh..." Her cheeks flushed as she smiled shyly, staring down at her lap. "I love him. I even had thoughts about marriage and children with him. That's why I was surprised earlier when you asked me about having children. It made me think of the wishes I had wanted to forget. It reminded me of my feelings for Gerick, and how I had hoped that one day our relationship would evolve into more. "

Her smile soon faded. "But after I heard about what happened to Blaire, I started to question my relationship with him. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I started feeling foolish, thinking I had fallen for some trap, and even became angry with Gerick. I had so much time to think on it that I'd actually convinced myself I was being used, so I decided I would end things with him once and for all. When you and I started seeing each other I thought for sure I could do it, but..."

Anna looked at Fenris sadly, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Fenris. I swear I wasn't just trying to use you or anything like that. I really do care for you, and being with you did make me happy and less lonely. But I..."

Fenris smiled softly at her. "But your heart belongs to him. Believe it or not I actually understand. It's strange, I feel no anger or sense of rejection. Your company and friendship have been more valuable to me than you know. I care very much about you as well, but I think..."

He looked down for a second then looked back up at her. "I don't think I feel 'love' like you feel for him. I believe my feelings toward you are those for a dear friend. The sex was good, well, great..." he said with a chuckle. "but I feel like our visits could have gone without it and I still would have been satisfied. I have never known the kindness and comfort I experienced with you, and it actually made me...happy."

Anna smiled happily and took Fenris's hands in hers, a look of relief in her jade eyes. "I'm so glad you don't feel hurt. I'd like it if we could keep being friends."

Fenris smiled and nodded. "I would like that as well. I must ask though, do you still feel like Gerick is using you?"

Anna looked down, her smile fading some. "No, I think I was wrong. I was just so upset over what I heard that I became caught up in it and didn't even give poor Gerick the benefit of the doubt. He's a good man, and I believe in his feelings for me."

Fenris leaned forward and Anna looked up at him. He smiled warmly at her. "Then be with him. You have a chance at happiness, take it."

Anna looked at him sadly. "But what about your happiness? What about Anders?"

Fenris leaned back again glancing to the side. "I...I don't know. I can't imagine he's too happy with me. If he doesn't set me on fire the next time I approach him I'd be surprised."

Anna chuckled softly then gave Fenris's hand a gentle squeeze. "Think about it, at least. Maybe if you talk to him and get things worked out your relationship could improve. Maybe you could even be happy."

Fenris looked back at her and nodded. "I will think about it."

He didn't want to tell her he doubted it would be that simple. There was a lot more involved in their 'relationship' than she knew. In truth, happiness was nothing but an impossible dream for the two of them, whether they were together or not, and Fenris was still uncertain of what his feelings were. All he knew was what they had wasn't the same as what Lenora and Andru had, or what she and Gerick had. He knew it couldn't lead to a normal, happy life of marriage and a family. A relationship between two men, especially men with their circumstances, couldn't possibly evolve into anything more than a physical connection.

Could it?

That uncomfortable tightness in his chest began to surface again. Every time Fenris tried to think about his feelings or question the way he felt, his chest began to ache. It was as if he was subconsciously trying to avoid the thought. Trying any harder to think about it caused the feeling to grow in intensity, and it became difficult to breathe. There was no point in dwelling on it now, though. After what he had done the mage was probably less than eager to have a talk about feelings.

When Fenris stood Anna stood with him, a worried look on her face. "You're leaving?"

Fenris gave her a little smile. "I feel a little better now that I've had someone to talk to. Besides, I think it best if I not stay too long. I wouldn't want to be in the way." he said, glancing toward the bedroom door. It was silent in the room, but Fenris was sure he had heard no departing footsteps earlier when that men went back into the room to 'go back to bed'.

Anna furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

Fenris merely smiled at her and turned to walk back to the door as Anna followed him. He took hold of the handle but paused when he felt Anna's hand on his shoulder. "Will you...be ok?" she asked gently.

Fenris let go of the door handle and turned around to face her, giving her an encouraging smile. "I have always managed to be ok, and will continue to do so. And like I said, talking to you has helped a great deal. It always has." His eyes seemed to flicker past her to look into the next room for a moment then went back to her. "But I think you helped yourself tonight as well."

Anna looked at him in confusion again. Fenris wasn't the type to use cryptic messages. "What are you talking about?" she asked again.

Again, Fenris simply gave her a smile, then put a hand on her head giving it a friendly rub. "Take care, Anna. I'll visit again sometime." He turned back around and grabbed the door handle again, then glanced over his shoulder. "By the way, what is the name of that bastard merchant?"

Anna looked thoughtful as she searched her memory. "Um, I think it's Aerin. Why?"

"Just curious..."

Before Anna could question him any further, Fenris opened the door and walked out into the darkness, shutting the door behind him. Anna stood in silence for a moment feeling a mixture of concern and sorrow for her friend, as well as some confusion. The things he had just said made her curious. What did he mean when he told her she had helped herself?

Suddenly, two strong arms wrapped around her from behind and pulled her back against a broad chest. Anna gasped quietly and turned her head to look at Gerick as he embraced her tightly.

"G-Gerick?" she asked in surprise. So he hadn't gone back to bed after all. Had he heard everything?

Gerick rested his head against hers, closing his eyes. "Do you know why I'm always so...eager, when we have sex?" he asked quietly.

Anna looked down and remained quiet, knowing he wasn't really expecting her to answer.

"Because the only time I have sex is when I'm with you."

She stiffened, a feeling of panic coming over her. He really had heard them.

"Gerick, I-I..."

Gerick held her more tightly, but gently. "I don't blame you." he murmured. "How could I? After the things you heard, I can understand why you'd be suspicious. But I swear to you, my feelings are real. I always miss you whenever I leave Kirkwall, and when I travel to other cities to get new stock and do business, a few months feel like years when I'm away from you. I just can't wait to see you again."

He knew she thought he was a liar. Anna's eyes filled with tears of shame and she spun around in his arms burying her face against his bare chest and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she cried.

Gerick smiled and gently stroked her hair looking down at her. "It's alright, I'm not upset. I'm partly to blame. I've been a coward. I should have told you sooner that I...I love you, Anna."

Anna looked up quickly, her eyes wide. "What...?"

Gerick smiled and caressed Anna's cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb. "I love you. I have for a long time. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but...I want you to be my wife. Marry me, Anna."

Anna's heart fluttered, and her chest felt as though it was filling with joy. But her joy vanished quickly when she thought about her actions. "But I...I betrayed you. I was with another man. I believed you were something you weren't and started a relationship with someone else." She hung her head in shame. "How could you possibly forgive me?"

Gerick scratched the back of his head with a slight frown. "Well, I admit I wasn't too happy about that..." he mumbled. He gave her a small smile again. "But when you confessed that your heart belonged to me, and that you felt the same way I did, I was overjoyed."

Anna smiled at him again, feeling relieved.

"Plus he was talking about being in a relationship with another guy, so I figured I wouldn't have to worry about him."

Anna laughed lightly and gave his shoulder a playful push. "You're so immature!"

Gerick chuckled then put his arms around her again. "What do you say? Will you marry me?"

"Are you sure?" Anna asked. "I thought you enjoyed being a traveling merchant."

Gerick let out a light sigh and looked out the window. "It's true I've always enjoyed traveling, and the road has called my name since I was young." He looked back at Anna with a loving smile. "But it's not nearly as sweet as when you call my name. I think I'm ready to finally settle down, and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be than right here with you."

Anna's tears returned, but this time they were tears of joy. Her chest felt full of happiness and love again. "I'll do it, I'll marry you. It's all I've wanted for so long."

Gerick kissed Anna deeply and lovingly. The kiss lasted a few moments, until they had to separate and catch their breaths. Gerick caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead lightly. "I'll work out of Kirkwall, and import my supplies. I never want to leave your side again." he said softly.

Anna rested her head against his chest again and closed her eyes. "I think I'd like that."

The two lovers stood embracing each other in silence; no more words were needed.

After a moment, Gerick cleared his throat lightly. "So uh, was sex with him better than sex with me?"

Anna opened her eyes and blinked in surprise, then simply smiled with a light chuckle and pulled out of Gerick's arms, starting to make her way back to the bedroom.

Gerick blinked and followed her. "Uh, A-Anna? You didn't answer. Anna?"

Anna stopped in the doorway and looked over her shoulder giving him a playful smile. "Hmm, I may need my memory refreshed..." She slipped into the room out of sight.

Gerick smiled and quickly followed his beloved into their room, shutting the door behind him.

{*}

Aerin stood at his stand watching as the market bustled with people, but none seemed interested in his wares. The last few days hadn't been very productive. At this rate he wouldn't be able to afford the Blooming Rose much longer and may have to resort to that filthy hovel, the Hanged Man. Maybe he shouldn't have broken things off with Blaire so impulsively. He probably should have kept up the relationship for a while longer.

He perked up when he noticed a potential customer approaching his stand, but his relief quickly vanished when he saw it was just an elf. It was likely he wasn't going to make a sale after all. The knife ears usually never had any money unless they were servants on an errand for their masters, and this man didn't look like a servant. His black clothes were kind of cheap looking, and he wore a few pieces of armor. There were strange markings on his body, but he didn't look like a normal Dalish elf. If he was, then he definitely wasn't a servant. Maybe he was a warrior and actually did have money. Aerin decided to treat him like a customer just in case. He put on a smile and played the part of the friendly merchant.

"Welcome, friend. Can I help you?" he asked.

Fenris gave the other man a smile. "Just browsing for a gift for a friend of mine. She is in mourning right now, she recently lost her sister."

"Ah, what a shame." Aerin remarked, faking a look of sympathy. Of course he didn't care all that much, it wasn't his problem.

Fenris nodded sadly. "Yes, it is a shame. Poor Blaire, what a waste of young life."

Aerin's eyes widened slightly and his heart jumped. Blaire? That woman was dead? He cleared his throat and tried to remain casual. "So, uh, what happened? If I may ask."

Fenris pretended to keep looking at Aerin's wares. "She killed herself." he said bluntly, driving the point home right away.

Aerin grew cold all over and he felt his face lose color. "K-killed herself? H-how unfortunate." He tried to keep his voice steady, but he was beginning to lose his composure. He felt a strange and unexpected feeling. Could it be he actually felt...guilty?

Fenris lifted his head to look Aerin dead in the eye. "Yes, it was quite unfortunate. Turned out she was pregnant. The poor child never even got to live..."

Aerin swallowed hard and looked down. Blaire's happy, smiling face flashed in his mind; their last and final conversation echoed in his memory.

_"I have wonderful news, darling. I'm pregnant!"_

_"That's not wonderful, it's terrible!"_

_"What? I-I don't understand...I thought you would be happy."_

_"My wife in Ferelden and mistress in Rivain have already given me children. I don't need or want anymore kids."_

_"What...? You...you've been lying to me this whole time? How could you?!"_

_"This is going to be a real problem. Sorry, but I can't have you burdening me. I'm afraid we can't see each other anymore.."_

_"No, please! I love you!"_

_"That's your problem."_

_"No, don't leave me!"_

Aerin was suddenly jolted back to reality when a hand roughly grabbed the front of his tunic and yanked him forward. He gasped when his face was brought within inches of the elven man's scowling face.

"It was your fault, you lying, despicable bastard!" Fenris growled fiercely. "You did this! Her death is on your head! You used Blaire, toyed with her like she was just a doll then threw her away as soon as she was a problem! As far as everyone is concerned, _you_ drove her to kill herself! You broke her heart and she took her own life and the life of her baby - _your_ baby - all because you can't keep it in your pants and be a faithful husband and decent man! If I ever catch you alone and away from the safety of witnesses, I swear I'll make it so you can never hurt another woman like that again!"

Aerin stared in wide-eyed terror at the infuriated elf. He couldn't stop himself from trembling. He gulped hard and glanced past the other man, then a smug grin of relief suddenly crept across his face.

Fenris frowned and narrowed his eyes at the man's expression, then looked over his shoulder. One of Aveline's guards women was standing not too far behind Fenris, and she did not look pleased. Fenris suddenly realized the look of angered disgust wasn't directed at him, but Aerin.

The guards woman glared at the merchant with hard eyes. "I don't see a thing." she said coldly, then turned and walked away.

It was Fenris's turn to feel relief. She must have overheard the conversation, and had no intention of coming to the rescue of a woman using bastard. Fenris turned back to Aerin, who now looked nervous again, and spoke in a harsh voice. "Now live with your shame. Live with the knowledge that you are responsible for the deaths of an innocent woman and her unborn child. An unborn child that _you _helped give life to."

Without giving Aerin the chance to respond, Fenris forcefully shoved the other man away and sent him tumbling back to the concrete where he fell backwards and smacked his head on the ground. He sat up quickly and grabbed the back of his sore head, but by the time he looked up again Fenris was disappearing into the crowd.

Aerin looked down, feeling a lump growing on the back of his aching head and squeezed his eyes shut as tears began to roll down his cheeks. But the tears weren't from the terrible pain in his head.

They were from the pain in his guilt-ridden heart.

(Bleh, now that probably the crappiest section of the story is over, let's get on to some slightly better parts.)

* * *

Varric paused in his story to take a drink from his cup and let the others catch their breath from their last bout of laughter. He set his cup down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before continuing. "So I tell the guy, 'sounds like a good deal, but how about giving me a discount for trying to sell me a weapon with a severed hand attached to it?', and the merchant says, 'discount? You're lucky I don't charge extra!'."

Everyone burst into laughter as Varric concluded his latest 'How I Met Bianca' story. Isabela shook her head incredulously. "I swear, Varric, you're more full of shit than a bag of manure."

Varric faked offense and put up his hands. "If I'm lying I'm dying, Rivaini."

Isabela snorted. "Oh, please. We're all dying, dwarf. It's just a matter of how fast."

"That's...pretty dark, Rivaini."

Hawke chuckled and folded his arms. "So what's your next story for how you got your toy? A magical crossbow fairy?"

Varric folded his arms and held his chin with a thoughtful look on his face. "Now that you mention it, I think that _was_ how it happened... She was pretty hot, too."

"Varric!" Hawke laughed.

"Speaking of toys..." Isabela spoke up, directing her attention toward Fenris. "where's yours?"

Fenris looked at Isabela, arching an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? What 'toy'?"

"I mean Anders." Isabela grinned.

Fenris's face darkened with a grim look. He hadn't seen the mage in 3 days, not since he had raped and abandoned him. His shame was too great for him to face the other man. Fenris merely shrugged, maintaining a cool composure. "Why would I know anything about the mage's affairs?" he asked.

Isabela smirked. "Oh, come on. We all know you two have been rutting around in the sheets for almost half a year."

"They have?!" Merril gasped.

"Ok, almost all of us." Isabela corrected.

Fenris scowled and Hawke grew nervous. "Uh, Isabela, let's not get nosy..."

Isabela looked at him. "What? Did they have another lovers' spat and break up?"

Fenris tensed more, his hand curling into a fist on the table as he lowered his head and his bangs hung over his face.

Varric cleared his throat nervously. "Rivaini, let's stay out of Elf and Blondie's affairs, huh?"

Isabela, still not catching on, looked at both men. "Did I guess right? What a shame. I was just about to ask if they wanted to try a threesome. Being on top is great, but being in the middle is pretty fun too..."

Varric and Hawke were motioning for her to shut up when suddenly Fenris slammed his fist on the table. Everyone jumped and looked at him as he continued to sit with his head down, the only part of his face not covered by his bangs was his mouth. Suddenly, a slow smirk crept across his face and when he raised his head his narrowed eyes showed no sign of humor. He almost looked wicked.

"Actually, I haven't seen the mage in a few days..." he said coolly. "Not since the night I attacked him and raped him in a most violent manner."

Everyone's jaws dropped and they stared at Fenris in shock. No one said anything, seeming stunned into silence by his confession.

Fenris gave a little shrug, picking up his cup. "He's probably fine, he is a healer, after all. A good thing too, I can't imagine the kind of trouble he would have been in considering the condition he was in when I was through with him."

He raised his cup to his face and brought it to his lips but didn't drink yet. His eyes panned over the other four as he gave a cold grin. "Want to know the funniest part? Turns out I attacked him over a misunderstanding. So really, I assaulted him for no reason at all."

Fenris finished off what was left in his cup and set it down as everyone continued to stare at him in silence. He stood and began walking away from the table. "Night, guys. Thanks for the story, dwarf. It was amusing."

No one said a word as Fenris exited Varric's room and headed for the door. He grabbed the handle and flung it open but didn't close it behind him. One of the tavern staff hollered something after him, but he paid them no mind. He continued storming away from the building, a deep frown adorning his face.

Before he could reach the steps leading out of Lowtown, he heard a voice calling out behind him.

"Fenris!"

Fenris halted in his steps, but didn't turn around as Hawke ran up behind him. He grabbed Fenris's shoulder firmly and pulled the elf around to face him. Fenris allowed himself to be turned around but kept his head turned away. He didn't want to see his friend's disappointed, angry face.

"What in the Void is going on?" Hawke asked angrily.

Fenris closed his eyes and kept silent. Hawke scowled lightly and grabbed both of Fenris's shoulders giving him a slight shake. "Look at me!"

Fenris opened his eyes and slowly turned to face Hawke. Even in the dark he could clearly see his friend's piercing glare. It almost made his heart sting.

"What is going on with you two?" Hawke asked, his voice a little more calm but still stern.

"I don't know." Fenris said quietly. He still didn't understand his feelings, and wasn't sure he wanted to. After that night, he kept thinking about what had happened over and over, but still he could come to no conclusion. He wanted to see the mage again, but he just couldn't face him. What could he do? What could he say? 'Sorry for raping you'? And as he had thought, the mage had once again cut himself off from the others and hadn't shown his face. Otherwise they probably would have known about Fenris's act of betrayal sooner.

Hawke's face softened some, but he still looked angry. He let go of Fenris's shoulders. "Well, you'd better figure it out. This isn't fair to Anders, and it's not fair to you to keep torturing yourself. I thought things had gotten better when you two started a relationship, but I guess it only made things worse."

Fenris couldn't help chuckling bitterly. "The mage had said something like that back in the beginning, how sex only complicated things. I suppose he was right. I thought I could resist feeling anything other than physical pleasure, but I..."

Hawke's face softened completely and he sighed. "But if Anders is with that woman, Lenora-"

"He's not."

Hawke looked surprised. "What? But I saw them when I went to the clinic the day after I talked to you. He was really sweet on her and-"

Fenris shook his head. "He thinks of her as a little sister and nothing more. She is actually lovers with another mage named Andru. They are the ones who are getting married. But I did not learn about this until after I...you know."

Hawke grimaced. "So that was the big misunderstanding." Fenris hung his head and nodded. Hawke put a hand over his face and sighed heavily. "Maker, Fenris. You really have lost it."

Fenris looked up quickly. "It's not my fault, it's that damn mage! He has me confused and feeling things I don't understand! But it's not love, it can't be! I couldn't possibly be in love with a cursed abomination. He is a mage, and after all I saw and experienced in Tevinter-"

"That's your problem!" Hawke suddenly blurted out, interrupting Fenris. "You keep thinking about Tevinter and magisters. But Anders isn't a Tevinter magister, he's just a man who had the misfortune of being born with magic. And calling him 'abomination' is unfair, he didn't sell his soul to a demon for powers, he was trying to help a spirit who was a dear friend and it ended up backfiring. Your prejudiced thoughts are clouding your feelings and driving you crazy. Stop thinking about the mage, and start thinking about the man!"

Fenris stared in silence at Hawke. He wasn't sure how to respond to that. Anna had pointed out the same thing to him not too long ago. Maybe they were right. Beneath the mage was a man, one who cared about others and used his powers to help instead of hurt. He had made a mistake in merging with a spirit from the fade, but how could he have known what would happen? Fenris's shame increased, and he felt like hiding in a hole, never to show his face again.

Hawke put a hand on Fenris's shoulder again, but the anger had disappeared from his touch. He looked Fenris in the eye with a solemn face. "Get your thoughts straightened out, and figure out your feelings. If this isn't something you can be serious about then back off of Anders. Stand aside, and allow someone else a chance."

Fenris looked at Hawke confused. "Allow someone else a chance? What do you mean?"

Hawke merely stared at Fenris, his face unreadable. He pulled his hand back and started to turn away. "Just try talking to Anders and get things straight. And if you do, remember my advice."

Fenris stood watching Hawke as he turned away and started heading back to the Hanged Man. As he put some distance between himself and the elf, a sly smile spread on Hawke's face. That cryptic little message he gave should provide the elf with a little motivation. Of course he liked Anders, but definitely not in a romantic way, and he certainly wasn't attracted to the other man. But Fenris didn't need to know that, he just had to think he might have some competition for the mage's affection.

Hawke just hoped it wouldn't backfire.

{*}

The next day Fenris stood before the door of the clinic once again. He had barely slept the night before; Hawke's words plagued his mind and kept him thinking for most of the night. In the end, Fenris still hadn't found an answer that satisfied him. But there was one thing he was certain of: he had to see the mage. Fenris took a deep breath and grasped the door handle, not knowing what was going to happen after this point.

Hopefully it wouldn't be an incident that ended with him being set on fire.

Fenris slowly opened the door and stepped inside. He frowned seeing Anders was there, but with a patient. The problem wasn't that he was with a patient, though, it was who the patient was.

Alaine, the younger sister of Lorraine, sat in a chair as Anders knelt in front of her holding her hand. She had been by the clinic several times since the mage delivered her sister's baby almost half a year ago, and she always fawned over him. She showed a small amount of interest in Fenris, probably because of his handsome appearance, but all of her affection was directed towards Anders. Fenris didn't dislike her, she was actually a sweet girl, he was just annoyed at how she was so fond of the mage. She usually came by with questions about baby care, most likely an excuse to see Anders, but today it seemed she was a patient.

Anders held a bloody cloth to one of Alaine's fingers tightly, trying to slow the bleeding. Alaine used her other hand to nervously fidget with her light brown hair which hung over her shoulder in a loose braid. Her light blue eyes were fixed on Anders. "I'm usually much more careful when I'm chopping vegetables," she said bashfully. "but while I was chopping I was startled by Vik suddenly shouting. When I looked up to see why he yelled I accidentally brought the knife down on my finger."

Anders nodded and lifted the cloth to look at her finger. "You cut it pretty deep, but it's nothing I can't deal with easily."

The girl smiled shyly. "I knew I could count on you." she said while blushing lightly.

Anders looked up at her with a smile, trying to hide his discomfort. "I always make sure to help my patients in any way I can." He was aware of her crush on him, but he didn't want to encourage it in any way. He quickly cleared his throat and turned his attention back to her finger. "So, why did your brother-in-law shout?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

Alaine's eyes dropped back down to their hands. "Well, he was changing Sorrin's diaper when the baby uh, well he..."

"Fired the cannon?" Anders asked with a playful smile.

Alaine nodded and giggled. "Right in Vik's face."

"Yeah, that happens with baby boys sometimes." Anders chuckled. "You just have to learn how to duck."

"I bet you'd be a good father."

Anders was caught off guard by the sudden remark. His smile vanished quickly and he looked up at her, meeting her eyes. His heart jumped because of that mistake. Now he was stuck facing the affection in her eyes. He gulped lightly, feeling awkward. She was several years younger than him, more than he cared to admit as it made him feel kind of old. She was cute and sweet, and certainly attractive. Before merging with Justice he found women who were gorgeous and had a naughty streak in them the most appealing. But now, women who were caring and sensitive and even kind of innocent were more to his liking. Even if she was a little young, she was definitely his type.

But his thoughts were pulled toward a certain bastard elf that he couldn't push from his mind no matter how hard he tried. But maybe if he had a distraction...

"No, I don't think I'd make it as a father." Anders said, looking back down at her hand and pretending to have more interest in her wound than her words. "Or as a husband. Besides, I don't have time for such things, I'm pretty busy. You're fortunate though, you're still young and free and can find the right person for you."

He didn't need to see her face to know she had a look of disappointment, he could practically feel the sorrow emanating from her. Anders couldn't do something as shallow as use an innocent young girl to forget his problems. Even if it was awfully tempting.

"What about you?" Alaine asked quietly. "Aren't you lonely?"

Anders looked up at her again, feeling the sting of her words. Before he could say anything someone cleared their throat and their heads both turned toward the doorway. Fenris stood there looking less than pleased as he glanced between the two.

Alaine gave him a pleasant smile, not seeming bothered by his presence or the interruption. "Oh, good morning, Fenris." she said cheerfully.

Fenris gave her a nod and light smile. "Morning, Alaine." Fenris looked over at Anders, the smile disappearing. "I need to speak with you, mage."

Anders's eyes narrowed and he gave Fenris a cold glare that sent shivers down the elf's spine. Now he was actually glad Alaine was there; there was less chance the mage would kill him with a witness around.

Anders turned back to Alaine's hand and gently laid his own on top of it as it started to glow with healing light. "Just go wait somewhere, I'll deal with you after." he said in a hard tone. He enveloped her hand with his magic and began the healing process.

Fenris cringed slightly, but he hadn't really been expecting a warm welcome anyway. He walked in and made his way over to one of the pillars not too far from Anders and Alaine and leaned against it with his arms folded.

Alaine glanced between the two men, seeming to sense the tension in the air, and fidgeted uncomfortably. Her brow furrowed and her hand twitched in Anders's. "Is it supposed to get hot?" she asked.

Anders's eyes widened slightly and he jerked his hand up as the light faded. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, looking up at her in a slight panic.

Alaine shook her head. "No, it didn't burn or anything. It just felt...really warm."

Anders lowered his gaze again to look at Alaine's hand. The wound had healed, but her skin was slightly red now from the heat. He had almost hurt her. His power had almost hurt her. His negative emotion had started to seep in and nearly warped his magic into something more dangerous. All because of his anger at that damn elf.

Alaine, oblivious to Anders's dilemma, looked at her hand in wonder. "Amazing, it's all healed. It's like it was never there." She smiled sweetly at Anders. "Thank you, I appreciate it."

The mage lifted his head again, but couldn't even fake a smile for her sake. "No problem." he murmured as he stood. She had no idea how close she came to being harmed by him. He was almost grateful for her obliviousness. But what about the next person? Would the next patient he tried to heal be safe? Or would he...?

Alaine suddenly stood and wrapped her arms around Anders. The mage blinked in surprise and looked down at her, instinctively taking hold of her without thinking. He could feel Fenris's hard gaze on his back and suppressed a groan.

After a moment Alaine looked up at him, her face red and shy looking. "Sorry, you just looked really sad all of a sudden." she murmured.

Anders looked down at her and gave her a smile, feeling a small sense of relief. It was surprising how something as small as a hug could bring such comfort. Too bad it wasn't going to last. "I'm fine, thank you." he said reassuringly.

Alaine nodded and hesitantly took her arms away, stepping back. She began anxiously fiddling with her braid again. "If um, if you ever need to talk, you can come see me." she said shyly, glancing down. "O-or if you need anything else..." Her face turned redder.

Anders gulped lightly and turned his head to look over his shoulder, nervously glancing at Fenris out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't see him well enough, but it wasn't hard to guess the elf was probably growing more annoyed by the second. Somehow, it gave Anders a strange sense of satisfaction. He almost considered going along, just to irk the elf more, but didn't want to get Alaine's hopes up. He looked back at her and gave her a gentle smile. "Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll be ok."

Alaine looked back at him with sadness in her eyes. Perhaps she understood what he was saying. "A-alright, I understand." she said softly. She cleared her throat and quickly recovered her smile, hiding her disappointment. "Thank you for your help. Take care."

Anders nodded. "Take care. Say 'hi' to the others for me."

Alaine gave Fenris a smile and a wave as well before leaving. Now the two men were alone with no one to keep things from getting out of control. For a long moment, Anders and Fenris stood in silence, not even looking at each other. Finally, Anders took a breath and turned around to face Fenris.

"What do you want, elf?" he asked flatly.

Fenris stared at the ground with his arms folded. "I just...wanted to see you." he mumbled, unable to even look at Anders.

Anders folded his arms, giving Fenris a glare of contempt. "Sorry, but I'm not in the mood to get raped today."

Fenris flinched and lifted his eyes to Anders without raising his head. "I am not here for that. I came to see how you are doing."

"Three days later? A lot of good that does now. It's a good thing I know healing magic, otherwise you would have come back home to a dead body on your bed, instead of just a bunch of bloodstains." Anders was exaggerating, of course, but he wanted to see the elf squirm with guilt.

Fenris cringed in shame and closed his eyes. "I am sorry...for everything." he said softly.

Anders scoffed. "You're sorry? You think that's going to fix anything? You think it's that simple? You raped me! You abused me! All because you made up a situation in that dense head of yours! You didn't even bother to talk to me and find out the truth!"

Fenris looked back at Anders, his anger steadily growing. "It was a mistake! I didn't... I just... You were the one who was misleading! The way you two were being so fond and affectionate toward each other, what else was I supposed to think?!"

Anders's arms dropped to his sides and he looked at Fenris in disbelief. "Are you really trying to turn this around and make it _my _fault?"

Fenris looked away again, looking ashamed. "I...no." he mumbled.

Anders shook his head with a frown. "You're unbelievable, you know that? You use me like some sort of sex toy, all the while claiming you feel nothing for me at all, but at the first sign of something between me and another person, you go mental. Then you just go and run into the arms of some tavern wench!"

Fenris's head whipped back in Anders's direction and he scowled. "Don't call Anna that! You know nothing about her, she is a good woman!"

"Well, I've never heard of a 'good woman' who picks up strangers in bars. I knew you were depraved, but to think you'd hop in bed with the first woman that bats her eyes at you as soon as you become deprived of sex is a whole new low for you. Then you have the nerve to screw her and rape me on the same day. It's filthy!"

Fenris scratched his head, glancing aside. "I took a bath..."

Anders folded his arms angrily. "It's just the thought of the matter." He turned his head away. "And you called _me_ 'slut'." he muttered with a huffy tone. Even if the elf had bathed, the thought that he had been violated after Fenris had sex with someone else angered Anders.

Fenris looked at Anders in surprise, but it wasn't so much what he said that surprised him, it was the emotion behind his statement.

"You're jealous."

Anders grew rigid and his face became flushed. He looked back at Fenris quickly, unfolding his arms. "What? N-no I'm not! That's ridiculous! Why would I-?"

"You're jealous that I was with someone else. You played it cool that night like you didn't care, but it was eating you up inside, wasn't it?"

Anders frowned, unable to suppress his emotions. Why did the elf seem so happy that he might have been jealous? And why did it make him so angry? "You have some nerve, elf! _You're_ the one that's always jealous, but at least I never betrayed you!"

"How can I betray you, or you betray me, when we are not lovers?" Fenris asked quietly.

Anders hung his head and stood silent for a moment. He clenched his fists tightly then looked back up at the elf. "What am I to you?" he asked sternly.

Fenris shook his head slowly. "I don't know..."

Anders scowled and took a few steps forward. "Then I'll tell you. I'm nothing but a possession."

Fenris flinched but remained silent as he stared at the ground.

"You have nothing to call your own. The mansion you live in, probably the outfit you wear, even your _name,_ none of it is yours! They all come from Danarius. So you look for something to claim, and you used me as that something. If you lost me then you would have nothing again. That's the only reason I mattered to you."

Fenris looked back up, his chest starting to ache again. "No, that's...it isn't true! I-I don't...!" His voice was strained, and he struggled with his words. He put his hand to his chest over his heart as it started pounding rapidly. Fenris took deep breaths as the tightness in his chest grew to the point that it was difficult to breathe. It was as if his entire being was screaming out, telling him to stop holding back before he burst. His vision blurred as he stared at the ground.

"I do not understand these feelings, and I do not understand why things are so complicated. I can make no sense of it. I feel ill, and it is as if you are both the cause and cure. Even while I was with another the thought of you haunted me. I couldn't understand it. Anna was beautiful, kind, caring, and smart. Any man would be satisfied with being with her. Yet I still could not get you out of my mind, out of my dreams, and it tormented me inside. Just thinking about what I might feel for you, my chest becomes tight, and my thoughts become clouded. I feel as though I am falling into darkness being with you, but I do not want to be away from you. Even if I become a shadow of who I once was, even if I become destined to wander in darkness, I feel as if I can't let go."

Fenris clutched his fist on his chest and looked back up at Anders, a desperate look on his face. "Tell me, what is this feeling? Even if it's terrible I feel as though I can bear it if...if you..." He could say no more. Fenris wasn't used to expressing his feelings, and he felt like a fool for doing so. He was nothing like himself anymore. He felt weak and vulnerable, but he also felt he couldn't go back anymore. It was too late to go back.

Anders stared at Fenris in silence, he had no idea what to say. The elf's confession had caught him completely by surprise. He knew what love was, he knew how it felt. He had loved a long time ago. This wasn't like any love he knew of, though. Could there be more than one kind of love?

Anders finally looked away, unable to meet those beautiful but sad eyes anymore. He tried to swallow, but his mouth had run dry. He took a breath then exhaled heavily. "I don't understand what you're feeling either." he said softly. "I know what love is like, and that doesn't sound anything like it. Karl and I, we...we were lovers when we were younger."

Fenris tensed in discomfort at the look on the mage's face when he mentioned his first love. The pain and nostalgia he felt in his heart was plain to see, even if he wasn't looking directly at Fenris.

"Then the reason you became so enraged that day in the Chantry..."

Anders nodded, closing his eyes. "Because they took him away from me. They took away the feelings and memories we shared so long ago. I never got to say good-bye to the real him. I never got to tell him how much he still mattered to me, how much I still cared for him." His hands slowly curled into fists. "He had done nothing wrong, and yet...they still..." Anders's body started to tremble as he was overcome with negative emotion. Cracks began to spread out on his skin, glowing with a faint blue light. He was starting to lose control again.

Anders grabbed his head, his eyes shut tightly. _"No, don't!"_ he shouted internally.

Suddenly, he felt himself being pulled into an embrace and quickly opened his eyes with a soft gasp. Fenris held Anders tightly against him, burying his face against his shoulder. Almost immediately Justice's power faded and Anders regained control of himself. He stood still as a statue in the elf's arms, unsure of what kind of reaction to have. He didn't want that depraved bastard touching him anymore, but at the same time those familiar arms and warmth brought him unexpected comfort. Anders slowly lowered his arms but didn't return the embrace. How long ago were those same arms wrapped around another?

"I don't think Anna would appreciate this." he said softly. He felt Fenris shake his head as he continued to hold him.

"She is out of the picture. At least, as far as sex goes."

Anders stiffened. "What?" he asked, getting slightly angry.

Fenris kept his head rested on Anders's shoulder, not looking up to talk to the mage. "Our relationship was based on moving on from our previous partners. We both thought we had been betrayed, but...we were both mistaken, apparently. What she had thought about her lover was wrong. They truly love each other. I am fond of Anna, but I do not feel the same way for her as Gerick does. I gladly stepped aside so they could be together."

Anders suddenly grabbed Fenris's shoulders and shoved him back. "Are you kidding me?" he nearly shouted.

Fenris stumbled back some and looked at Anders in surprise. "What?"

Anders glared at the elf. "You're just here because you're not with her anymore, aren't you?"

Fenris's surprise turned to anger. "No, you idiot! I came here to apologize and set things right! I made a mistake and I...I just..." He sighed and tried to calm himself. "I had to see you, and get these thoughts and feelings off my chest. They build up inside me until I feel like I am going to burst." Fenris shook his head and put his hand over his face, feeling too exposed by these confessions. "Do you have any idea how difficult this is for me?" he asked in a low voice.

Anders's face softened as he looked upon the sad little elf before him. He didn't know what to feel anymore. Fenris never left his mind, no matter how hard he tried to push him out. Little things reminded him of the elf on a daily basis, and at night he haunted his dreams. Lenora and Andru's displays of affection left him feeling lonely and longing for those strong arms and soft lips once more. He couldn't even go near his own friends out of concern he would bump into him, and if he saw the elf again he'd lose his resolve to let things end. And probably be sexually molested again. The night he went to the mansion the news he'd received from Varric about Fenris's new partner made him feel a mixture of pain and relief. He felt hurt that the elf had moved on so quickly, but at the same time he thought he'd at least be safe from his sexual appetite.

But he couldn't have been more wrong.

Finally, Anders heaved a sigh, shaking his head. "If you had just been more honest none of this would have happened. I don't think you really know what you want, elf."

Fenris lowered his hand and looked at Anders. "And what do you want, mage?"

It was Anders's turn to cringe. What did he want? He had spent years hating and being angry at the elf, and now he had turned Anders's world upside down. The past three weeks without him had been more miserable than Anders thought they would be. He never realized how used to Fenris's presence he had gotten. He never thought he would miss that damn elf so much, and now he didn't know if he could be without him. His touch, his kiss, his embrace... He wanted them all. Even though Anders had prepared himself to possibly spend the rest of his life alone because of his circumstances, Fenris had completely unraveled his determination without Anders even realizing it until it was too late. But after what he had done to him, he didn't know if he could forgive the elf so easily. He wanted to try, but he wasn't sure if he could. He understood what the elf meant about conflicting emotions building up inside.

Anders turned away with a sigh, he didn't want to face the elf anymore. Maybe he wasn't ready to forgive. Not yet. "I have to go," he said, not answering Fenris's question. "there's something I need to do. We'll talk later. Maybe."

As he started to walk away, he heard shuffling behind him. Anders was suddenly grabbed from behind and pulled back against the elf. He stumbled and tried to look over his shoulder angrily. "What are you-?"

Fenris gripped the mage tightly, desperately holding on, and pressed his face into the crook of Anders's neck.

"Please...don't leave me alone..."

Anders froze. It was one sentence, one little sentence, and yet it sapped all the strength from his resolve. The deep, smooth voice that always sounded so masculine now sounded weak and pitiful. Fenris clung to him as if afraid to let go. Anders never realized it before, but the elf was like a sad, lonely child. He had been the first to show Fenris the affection and attention he had been denied as a slave and now craved. And Anders had become the same way. He wanted to be in his arms, and couldn't go on without them anymore.

"You annoying bastard." Anders growled. "First you're always sexually harassing me, then you easily move on to some woman, then rape me because you were jealous, and now you're trying to make up with me again?"

"Basically."

Anders gritted his teeth in irritation. "You are such a...a brat!"

"And yet you still want me too, don't you?" Fenris murmured in Anders's ear then grabbed the mage's shoulders and spun him around to face him. Before Anders could do or say anything Fenris pressed his lips to the mage's and kissed him deeply. Anders stubbornly refused to kiss back, but before he could pull away Fenris grabbed the back of his head and kissed him more firmly. He held the mage tightly but gently, not allowing their lips to separate. Anders grabbed Fenris's arms and gripped them tightly, but soon his grip and tense body slowly relaxed as he finally gave in and their lips melted together in a passionate, tender kiss unlike any they had shared before. They never really kissed outside of sex, it was always during the heat of the act or leading up to it. But this wasn't about sex or lust. For the first time, it felt like a real kiss.

Finally their lips separated but their faces remained close together, their foreheads touching. The two men panted as they tried to catch their breaths. Anders stood with his eyes closed, his heart racing and his mind a jumbled mess. He felt weak and held on to Fenris for support. Finally, he slowly shook his head. "I don't know," he said softly. "I don't know if I..." He still couldn't forget what was done to him. It was horrible, painful. It was betrayal in its purest form. Such a thing had never been done to him before, not even in the Circle where it was actually common. Anders felt it would have been more bearable if it had been done by a templar instead of the elf. He wouldn't have felt nearly as betrayed.

"Do something about it."

Anders's eyes snapped open and he looked into Fenris's. Those sharp, elven eyes that never failed to captivate gazed at him with an intensity that revealed how serious he was.

"Punish me. Make me pay for my crime. I'll accept anything you do, as long as it will make things right again."

Anders quickly pulled his head back, but their eyes remained locked. Fenris still held on to the mage, not letting him get away. His gaze sent a shiver down Anders's spine. The elf really wanted to make amends. He really had changed in these past few months. But whether or not it was a good change was still up in the air.

"I...I don't think... I'm not like that, elf. I can't even begin to think of how to do something like that." Anders murmured.

Fenris shrugged. "Then I'll just have to stick around until you do."

Anders blinked and pulled back. "What? No! You're not going to follow me around like some lost puppy dog!"

"Why not? Where are you going? Maybe I'm headed the same way."

Anders frowned starting to back toward the door. "I'm going to see Hawke."

Fenris moved forward to follow with a mischievous little smile on his face. "Oh, what a coincidence. So am I."

Anders opened the door. "Liar, you're just trying to follow me! What could you possibly want with Hawke?"

"I was going to try and talk him out of his virginity."

"What? Hawke's a-? Why do you know-? No, never mind. Just stop following me."

"Want to help me?"

"No!"

"We could do a...what did Isabela call it? A threesome."

"No way!"

"Hawke can be in the middle."

"No!"

"You could be in the middle."

"I said-! ...Uh... N-no! Just quit following me!"

"We could take turns."

"FENRIS!"

(Before anyone gets their hopes up, no, there won't be a threesome scene between these three. Sorry if that disappoints, lol.)

* * *

True to his word, Fenris followed Anders all the way to the Hawke estate in Hightown. The mage couldn't shake the annoying little elf and gave up half way to the mansion. Anders knocked on the front door and they waited for a response.

"So you have been in one before, mage?"

"I've been in a few."

"What position do you prefer?"

"Shut up!" Anders hissed.

Fenris simply grinned and gave up on his questioning just before the door opened. A middle-aged looking woman with greying hair and light blue eyes opened the door and smiled kindly at the two men. "Hello, can I help you?"

Anders smiled politely. "Hello, Leandra. I'm not sure if you remember me, but we met once before. I'm Anders and-"

"Oh, of course." Leandra shook her head with a soft chuckle. "Forgive me, Anders. Of course I remember you. Darrian (Hawke) has spoken much about you, I guess I just forgot what you looked like for a moment. I must be getting a little old."

"I doubt it is age. He is pretty bland, so I suppose it would be easy to forget him." Fenris gave Anders a playful smirk when the mage turned to glare at him.

Leandra looked startled when Fenris spoke, as if she hadn't noticed him. "Oh, excuse me, I didn't see you there. And you are?"

It was Fenris's turn to glare at the mage when Anders snickered quietly at his 'unnoticeable presence'. He smiled at Hawke's mother, letting the matter slide. "Sorry, we haven't met yet. My name is Fenris."

"Of course, Fenris." Leandra smiled with recognition. "You're the young elven lad who, uh..." She suddenly paused, as if trying to choose her words wisely. She most likely didn't want to use the term 'slave'. "The one my son helped when that awful man tried to capture you, correct?"

Fenris's smiling lips twitched and he tried not to laugh. Her attempt at trying not to create an awkward introduction had failed, but again, he let it slide. "That is correct, ma'am." he said politely, trying to ease her discomfort.

Anders spoke up, before things got even more awkward. "So, is Hawke home?"

Leandra looked back at Anders, seeming relieved at the change of subject. "Oh, I'm afraid my son isn't home at the moment. He should be back soon though. Why don't you both come in and wait?" she asked, stepping aside to let them enter.

"If it's no trouble." Anders said as he stepped in, Fenris right behind him.

Leandra closed the door and walked ahead of them to lead them to the study. "It's no trouble at all. It gets lonely around here sometimes, so a little company would be nice. I'll make us some tea to drink while we wait for my son to return."

Anders noticed that the manner in which Leandra walked and carried herself showed she had grown up a noble, but she was still humble and kind compared to most nobility. She had even raised fine and decent children, which was more than could be said about most nobles and their spoiled brats. He had never met Carver, and he only knew Bethany for a short while before her sad demise in the Deep Roads, but what he did know of the Hawke children convinced him they were something any parent would be proud of. They were even offspring of an apostate, direct proof that mages could make good parents when given the chance.

Anders found himself feeling envious of Hawke's parents, and even more lonely. He discreetly glanced at Fenris out the corner of his eye as they followed Leandra. They could never have what normal couples had, but just being with someone took away that empty feeling inside, just a little. Without realizing what he was doing, Anders reached over and touched the tips of his fingers to the inside of Fenris's hand, nearly taking hold of the elf's hand.

Fenris blinked looking down at their hands then at Anders in confusion and the mage quickly jerked his hand back in embarrassment. Fenris furrowed his brow as if silently asking what the mage was doing, but Anders merely shook his head and wouldn't look at him. The two men took their seats and Leandra began to walk back out.

"I'll be right back with the tea." she said, before leaving.

Fenris listened to her departing footsteps for a moment, but before he could open his mouth the mage was already speaking up.

"Don't ask." Anders muttered, sinking down in his chair.

Fenris looked at him. "What was that about?" he asked anyway.

"Nothing." Anders answered quickly, still not looking at him.

"Were you...trying to hold my hand?"

"No."

"Then what was that a moment ago?"

"I was stretching."

Fenris arched his eyebrow. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

"At the moment."

Fenris got up from his seat and moved over to Anders. The mage stubbornly kept his head turned away and folded his arms. His pale face was flushed with embarrassment, and the closer Fenris got the redder it became. The elf grinned in amusement and set one of his knees on the chair next to Anders's thigh and placed a hand on the back of the chair while he leaned down close to the mage's face. He took hold of Anders's chin with his other hand and turned his face to him. Anders frowned and kept his eyes cast downward.

"You missed me."

"Shut up."

"You were lonely."

"I said shut up."

The elf chuckled and tilted his head, bringing their lips closer. "You're so easy to read, mage."

Anders finally glanced up. "Says the illiterate elf." he muttered.

Fenris smirked, letting the jab slide, and kissed Anders's lips lightly. Anders hesitated, but didn't resist as he slowly reached up with one hand to caress Fenris's cheek. Their lips parted and tongues met as the two forgot themselves and their location for a brief but sweet moment.

A sudden scuffling sound had them quickly pulling apart and looking around in a panic, but they didn't see anyone. Hawke's mabari hound suddenly trotted into the room while looking over his shoulder back the way he had come then plopped down in front of the fireplace and closed his eyes, not even paying any attention to the other two. Both men exhaled sighs of relief.

Anders then glared at Fenris and pointed to the elf's chair. "Sit. And try to keep yourself, and me, out of trouble. I don't want to create any awkward situations with other people."

The elf merely chuckled and shrugged as he walked back over to his chair. "Fine, we'll finish later then."

Anders grumbled something under his breath about the elf being trouble as Fenris took his seat again. Leandra walked back in soon after carrying a tray with 3 tea cups on it and served the other two.

"You didn't really have to do this, Leandra." Anders said.

Leandra sat down in her chair with her own cup and gave a little shrug of her shoulders. "It's no problem, dear. I may have been a noble growing up, but don't forget I spent more than 20 years as a housewife and mother. If I don't do things myself I get restless." she said with a small smile. "I do what I can to keep myself busy, and...keep my mind off of things." Her eyes drifted down to stare at the ground as she took a small sip of her tea. It wasn't hard to figure out she was thinking about the loss of her two younger children.

Leandra cleared her throat and looked back up again, regaining her composure. "I hear you've been busy, though." she said, smiling at Anders. "I understand you're engaged?"

Anders blinked in surprise, nearly dropping his cup. "What? N-no, I..." He scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "It's not me, it's a friend. She and another friend are the ones who are getting married. I just...brought them together."

"Oh, I see. So it's true then? You broke her out of the Circle so she could be with the one she loves?" Leandra asked with an intrigued look in her eyes.

Anders smiled nervously; perhaps Hawke talked about him a little too much to his mother. "Y-yeah, something like that..." He decided to leave out the part about the plan to turn her Tranquil, lest he ruin the romantic part.

Leandra sighed wistfully, a nostalgic look in her eyes as she smiled. "How sweet. It reminds me of when Malcolm escaped so we could run away together and marry. Seems like only yesterday we were hidden away on a ship bound for Ferelden, me already carrying our first child. How time flies..."

"Your husband sounded like a good man." Anders said with a smile. "A true role model to all of us. Proof that mages can be good people too, and even make good parents and spouses."

Fenris rolled his eyes and suppressed a heavy sigh, sensing another one of Anders's 'not all mages are evil' speeches coming on. He didn't like tea much, but he took a long sip of his to hold back on biting comments and sarcastic remarks, not wanting to antagonize the mage. Not in front of Hawke's mother, at least.

Fenris noticed that while Anders was talking Leandra seemed to watch him with a look of fondness. She had a soft smile on her face and a distant look in her eyes as she stared at him. Fenris clenched his jaw in irritation. First he had worried about Lenora, then he had to worry about Alaine and possibly even Hawke, if he had read the other man's words from the night before correctly. But now Hawke's _mother_? Maybe being in a relationship with the mage was going to be a bigger hassle than he thought.

"Is something wrong?" Anders suddenly asked, either finally noticing the way Leandra was looking at him, or finally acknowledging it.

Leandra blinked a couple of times, seeming startled, then laughed sheepishly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...thinking. Darrian had said something about how you reminded him of his father. I think I see what he means. You do remind me a little of my Malcolm."

"Hawke's father? How so?" Anders asked curiously.

Leandra looked down at her cup in her lap as she held it with both hands, running her thumb around the rim. "Well, your ideas of equality and fairness, and your extreme views against blood magic. You also have this air of kindness and gentleness about you that's comforting. And you seem like a bit of a romantic when you talk about marriage and children. I bet you would make a good father and husband, as well."

There they were again, those words. They stung Anders's heart like a hundred arrows. Why did people have to keep reminding him of the things he could never have? He was destined to live and die alone. He didn't need any reminders.

"Thank you, that's kind of you to say." Anders said with a smile, trying to hide his sorrow.

"You must be in love with someone." Leandra said sweetly.

Anders froze and his eyes went wide. "W-what?" He fought the urge to glance at Fenris at those words. Did she really have to say something like that in front of the elf? "Uh, I..."

Fenris smirked in amusement as he watched Anders squirm nervously at Leandra's statement. The woman had more talent for making things awkward than she probably knew. He couldn't deny, though, that he was more than a little interested in the mage's response.

Anders swallowed hard, praying for some kind of distraction. "A-actually..."

There was a sudden shout of surprise from the other room that drew everyone's attention toward the doorway.

"Sandal, have you gone mad, boy?! You don't kiss other men like that, especially not your own father! Where in the world did you learn something like that?!"

Fenris grew rigid and wide-eyed, and Anders's head slowly turned toward the elf, an angered glare on his face.

"Hmm, I wonder what that was about." Leandra murmured with her eyes still on the doorway, not sensing the tension between the two men.

"What, indeed." Anders said sternly, keeping his eyes on Fenris.

The elf quickly gulped down another sip of his tea, not looking back at the mage. He knew he was in trouble. It seemed they hadn't gotten away with their 'secret' kiss after all. Perhaps the sound they had heard earlier during the moment wasn't really the dog, but a peeping Tom.

Or a peeping Sandal.

Suddenly, Hawke's mabari lifted his head to look at the doorway then hopped up wagging his tail excitedly. Hawke walked in while looking back over his shoulder into the other room. "What was that?" he asked. When he turned his head forward and saw his two guests, he frowned and glanced between the two men. "Never mind..." he muttered knowingly.

Anders cleared his throat. "Yes, uh...hi, Hawke. There's something I needed to talk to you about. It's very important."

As if sensing her cue to go, Leandra stood from her chair. "Well, I'll leave you boys alone then." She took Anders's and Fenris's empty tea cups and turned to Anders with a smile. "Thank you for keeping me company, perhaps we can talk again some time and you can finish telling me what you were going to say."

Anders smiled back nervously. "Oh, uh, y-yeah. Sure." Maybe while the elf wasn't around.

Leandra looked at Fenris. "And it was nice meeting you, Fenris."

Fenris gave her a nod. "Likewise, ma'am."

Leandra took the tray and cups and left the room, leaving the three men to their privacy.

Hawke folded his arms and looked at the other two. "In my house, guys?" he asked with exasperation in his voice.

Anders looked at the elf accusingly. "Don't blame me, it was him!"

Fenris shrugged. "What? It wasn't like we screwed or anything. It was just a little kiss."

Hawke put a hand over his face and shook his head with a sigh. "So you two have made up then, I take it?"

Anders frowned. "He won't quit following me."

Fenris moved over to stand beside Anders and gave Hawke a stern look. "Meaning I'm sticking around, and not stepping aside."

Hawke lowered his hand and looked at Fenris in surprise, then grinned as he caught on to the elf's words. "Oh, good. Glad our little talk last night helped."

Fenris's expression changed to a look of confusion, then surprise, then anger. Hawke had been bluffing? He tricked him?

"You little-!"

"So what was it you wanted to talk about, Anders?" Hawke asked, cutting off Fenris's fury.

Anders looked between the other two men, his brow wrinkling in confusion. What had they been talking about? Putting his suspicion aside, he returned his focus to Hawke. "Well, there's something I need your help with. You're the only one I can trust."

The atmosphere grew serious again as Hawke stepped closer to Anders. "What is it?"

"Well, I..." Anders paused then looked over at Fenris, seeming reluctant to speak in front of the elf.

Fenris frowned and narrowed his eyes. "Anything you say to Hawke you can say in front of me, mage. Or do you not trust me?"

"Actually, that's pretty much it." Anders answered bluntly.

Fenris looked startled and was surprised to find that he actually felt hurt by the mage's lack of trust once again. He folded his arms, a light scowl on his face. "You need help with something, do you not? What's wrong with letting me help out?"

"Because it involves helping mages."

Fenris suppressed a groan; he should have guessed that was it. He couldn't really imagine himself helping mages any more than Anders could. But he owed him a debt, and this was probably the best way to pay it off.

"Fine, I'll help."

Hawke and Anders both looked surprised by the elf's words. "You...will?" Anders asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice as he looked at the elf in uncertainty.

Fenris nodded deeply. "I owe you, don't I? For what I did. This will be my way of making it up to you."

Anders studied Fenris in silence, considering his options. Finally, he sighed with a look of reluctance on his face. "Alright, you can help. But if you do anything to mess this up or betray me, I'll-"

"Set me on fire?"

"Worse. I'll use ice magic to give you a nasty case of frostbite in a very uncomfortable place..."

Fenris gulped, not entirely sure if that was a bluff.

Anders returned his attention to Hawke. "Like I was saying, I need your help, Hawke, and it does involve helping mages. Do you remember why I broke Lenora out of the Circle?"

"Something about her being made Tranquil, right?"

Anders nodded. "It was the idea of a templar named Ser Alrik. He's also the one who turned Karl Tranquil. According to our sources, this bastard is working on a plan that will result in all mages in Thedas being made Tranquil. Good, or evil."

Hawke stiffened as his eyes widened slightly. "You can't be serious... There's no way anyone would agree to that! It's not even legal!"

"But it's true!" Anders countered. "Think about it. Haven't you noticed how the amount of Tranquil in the Gallows has increased? It's all because of Ser Alrik's Tranquil Solution. He has to be stopped!"

Fenris folded his arms. "Maybe they brought it on themselves, mage. Like Hawke said, it's not legal to turn a mage Tranquil for no good reason."

Anders turned on Fenris with a fierce glare, but before he could lay into the elf, Hawke spoke up. "What do we need to do?"

Anders glared at Fenris for a second, then turned back to Hawke, his face softening. "We need to find proof of the Tranquil Solution, and bring it to that dotard of a Grand Cleric. Maybe then she'll finally get off that wrinkly old ass of hers and start doing something about these out of control templars. I can't do this alone, though. Will you help me, Hawke?"

Hawke turned and leaned against the fireplace with his arms folded, staring at the ground with a contemplative look on his face. Anders began to feel a twinge of nervousness, Hawke was taking too long to consider it.

Finally, the other man sighed and shook his head, looking back at Anders. "I hope you have a plan, because I can't think of a damn thing."

A sense of relief washed over Anders and he let out a small sigh then nodded. "I already have a plan figured out. There's a secret entrance to the Gallows dungeon in Darktown, it's how we've been sneaking other mages out of the Circle. We can use it to infiltrate the Gallows and search for evidence against Alrik. Once we find it, we sneak back out the same way and bring it to the Grand Cleric."

"You mean 'if' we find it." Fenris chimed in. "If there's any to be found."

Anders turned on Fenris again. "If you're not going to be helpful then you can just go back to your crumbling little mansion and forget ever earning any kind of forgiveness from me! Don't think for a second I won't hesitate to leave you behind!"

Fenris flinched and he looked away. "I never said I wasn't going to help..." he grumbled. He felt surprised at how much the mage's words actually affected him. Perhaps he was growing too emotional after all.

Hawke glanced between the two men, sensing there was some deeper meaning behind those words, and cleared his throat. "So, uh, are we doing this now?"

Anders looked back at Hawke. "Well, I wanted bring Varric along, as well. Chances are we'll run into some trouble down there. The place was actually built by lyrium smugglers for templars to feed their addiction. It'd be safer to have more numbers, and he's the only other person besides you that I completely trust."

Hawke nodded. "Alright, let's go to the Hanged Man and pick up Varric, then we'll head to Darktown."

Anders smiled at Hawke. "I can't tell you how much this means to me, Hawke. Thank you."

Hawke placed a hand on Anders's shoulder, giving him a warm smile. "Of course, I'd do anything for a friend."

Before Anders could respond, his collar was suddenly grabbed from behind and he was pulled back, making him stumble. Fenris started dragging the mage out of the study to the front door. "That's enough of that. Let's just go get the dwarf and get this madness over with already."

Anders squirmed and struggled as he was forced to walk backwards while the elf pulled him along by his collar. "What are you-? Let go! Knock it off, you idiot!"

Hawke shook his head with a sigh then smiled in amusement and followed the bickering elf and mage out of his estate.

* * *

After recruiting Varric at the Hanged Man, the four men made their way to the Gallows dungeon via the secret entrance Anders had told them about. As he had predicted, they ran into lyrium smugglers and were forced to put them down as they made their way through the tunnels.

"Kill first, ask questions never, huh?" Varric muttered, carrying Bianca in his arms. "Guess these guys aren't much for conversation."

"Well, what they're doing is illegal. Naturally they'll attack on sight." Anders responded as he held his staff in his hand, using it like a walking stick. "Don't tell me you're feeling guilty that you have to kill them instead of talk your way out of a fight."

Varric scoffed. "Pff, as if! These new bolts are special, you know. I hate wasting them on these jackasses."

Anders chuckled and shook his head then came to an abrupt stop nearly running into Hawke when he realized the other man had halted in his steps. "What's wrong, Hawke?"

Hawke stared straight ahead at the end of the tunnel and held up a hand. "Shh. Listen..."

Everyone grew silent and listened for what Hawke heard.

"Voices." Fenris said quietly.

Hawke nodded. "Someone's up ahead. If it's enemies I'd rather get the jump on them."

Everyone crept up to the end of the tunnel where it opened into another cavern and carefully peeked in. Anders's breath caught in his throat at the unexpected sight they stumbled upon. A few templars crowded a frightened young mage girl, Ser Alrik at the head.

"Damn it!" he hissed under his breath. "It's Alrik."

Hawke kept his eyes on the scene. "The guy we're supposed to be gathering evidence on?"

Anders nodded as he tightened his grip on his staff. "How did they find this place?"

"It doesn't matter now." Hawke whispered. "We need to come up with a plan, fast. We should-"

A terrified voice interrupted Hawke and brought everyone's attention back to the group in the next room.

"But I really wasn't trying to do anything wrong!" the young girl cried. "I just want to see my mum, to let her know I'm alright. No one told her where they were taking me. She must be so worried..."

"So you admit you were trying to leave." Alrik said snidely, folding his arms. "There's only one thing to do with naughty little girls who don't obey the rules..."

The girl's eyes widened in horror. "No, please! Don't make me Tranquil! I-I'll go back to the Circle, I won't run away again, I promise! Please, I'll do anything!"

Alrik chuckled. "That's right, you will do anything I say...once you're my mindless, Tranquil slave."

Anders's fury began to grow, and he felt Justice's power starting to rise. He put a hand over his face and tried to force it back down. "No," he whispered to himself. "not here." He didn't want to taint this place, this passage to freedom for countless Circle mages, with his violent power.

"Don't worry," one of the other templars said. "once it's done you won't care so much. The others don't care. No matter what we do..." He added with a mischievous tone in his voice.

"Yeah," a second spoke. "but it's not as fun when they're so emotionless. Can't we at least give this one a test run before we turn her?"

The girl looked at the men in terror and began to back away. "No, please don't! I beg you!"

Alrik sighed. "Just make it quick. I have much paperwork to do." he said casually.

The other four men chuckled lecherously and started to move in on her.

"No!" she shrieked.

"Bastards!" Hawke growled under his breath and quickly drew his sword. "Come on, we have to-"

Without warning, there was a sudden burst of intense power that staggered him, Fenris, and Varric. The three men looked at Anders in shock as bright blue cracks crawled across his skin and he glowed with an almost malevolent aura. His glowing eyes narrowed at the group of templars.

"Fiends! You will never touch another mage again!" his voice boomed.

All five men spun around and spotted Hawke and his group. "Mage!" one of the templars shouted and they rushed forward in front of Alrik, their weapons drawn. "Surrender by order of the Chantry!"

"Fools!" Anders bellowed. "You are no match for the power of justice!"

As the four templars started to rush him, Anders's staff crackled with electricity. He slammed the butt of his staff on the ground and a chain of lightning erupted from the head and struck the four charging templars. They screamed and their bodies jerked and jolted as the lightning chained them together, electrocuting all four at once. The power ceased and the group dropped to the ground dead, leaving Alrik standing alone in the back. He had been the only one that hadn't charged ahead recklessly.

Alrik shook his head, a look of disappointment on his face. "I would have thought they'd know better than to simply charge an abomination like that." he sighed in exasperation. "I suppose I'll simply have to take this monster out myself."

Anders's eyes widened in fury at Alrik's words. "You dare call _me_ monster?! You shall pay for your crimes and your audacity!"

"Anders, wait!" Hawke hollered, but he was too late to stop his friend as the other man charged forward recklessly this time.

Before he could reach Alrik, the templar raised his hand, palm facing outward, and sent out a wave of power that hit Anders head on and staggered the other man. Anders let out a shout of pain and dropped to his knees as the power seemed to envelop him, rendering him helpless. His staff fell to the ground and the magic aura that surrounded him seemed to wane as if he were being drained of his powers.

Alrik drew his sword and started to approach Anders with a smug smile on his face. "I didn't make it as a templar this long by being weak and foolish, demon." He raised his sword, ready to strike Anders down. "Now, to the Void where you belong!"

Just as he was about to bring his sword down, there was a sudden click and whizzing sound. A bolt suddenly pierced Alrik's throat and his eyes widened in stunned surprise. He dropped his sword and stumbled back, grabbing his throat.

Varric stood at the entrance to the room, still holding up Bianca as he glared at Alrik. "Bianca says it's time to retire."

The power that had been containing Anders weakened and he burst out of its hold, grabbing Alrik's fallen sword. He leaped up with a cry of fury and drove Alrik's sword through his armor and into his chest, piercing his heart. Alrik let out a gasp and quiet gurgle, then his eyes grew blank and Anders released the sword, stepping back. Alrik's dead body dropped to the ground face first before him.

Anders's breath came out in heavy pants as he scowled down at the body of the slain Ser Alrik. "I shall kill every last templar just as I have killed him and his minions! They will all die! None shall escape justice's wrath!"

Hawke and the others put their weapons away and slowly approached Anders, Hawke ahead of the other two. "It's ok, Anders." he said calmly. "It's over, we won. So just calm yourself..."

Justice turned to Hawke. "It won't be over until all enemies of righteousness have been slain!"

Hawke opened his mouth to respond, but a frightened voice cut off his words before he could speak them.

"Go away, demon!" the young mage girl cried. She was cowering by the wall in the back hugging her trembling body as she stared straight at Anders.

Anders spun around and angrily stormed up to her. "I am no demon!" he growled. "You dare call me such after I have saved you? You are one of them, aren't you? They have you in their hold!"

Hawke began to panic and tried moving closer to Anders. "Anders, stop. She just a frightened girl who doesn't know what's going on. There's no need to turn on her."

"She is theirs, I feel it!" Anders responded, still glaring at the mage girl.

Hawke's panic began to rise as he realized the situation was going to turn bad if he didn't calm his friend down. "She's a mage that you rescued from being made Tranquil, Anders. Isn't that your mission? Isn't that what you're fighting for?"

Anders stared down at the girl coldly, then raised his hand as it billowed with a destructive power. "It is too late for her."

The young girl put up her arms in fear and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "Please, mercy!" she cried.

Before Anders could bring his arm down a hand grasped his wrist from behind and pulled him roughly, making him spin back around.

Fenris gripped Anders's wrist with one hand and drew back the other in a fist as he turned Anders to him. "Snap out of it, you idiot!" he shouted, and decked Anders across the face. He realized the mistake of his act too late as his gauntlet made contact with Anders's cheek, leaving a deep gash in his flesh and sending blood flying through the air. He quickly released Anders's wrist and the mage stumbled back from the blow. Almost immediately Justice's power burst outward and vanished, leaving a shaken, terrified Anders in its wake.

He dropped down on his knees gripping his head, his breath coming out in shaky pants. "Oh, Maker..." his voice trembled. Blood dripped from the wound on his cheek as he knelt hunched over, his face concealed from the others.

Fenris looked at Anders then looked at the back of his bloody gauntlet. He didn't feel the same way he felt the night he had raped and hurt Anders. He now felt a sickening feeling of guilt mixed with anger. He had hurt the mage once again.

But this time, he definitely deserved it.

Hawke approached Anders carefully and reached out to him. "Anders..."

"Don't touch me!" he cried, and knocked Hawke's hand away. Hawke pulled his hand back quickly and took a step back, looking at Anders in surprise. Anders's vision blurred and he tried to hold back the building tears. "I-I have to get out of here." He quickly scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room.

"Anders!" Hawke called after him, then sighed and shook his head. A slight whimpering drew his attention back to the frightened mage girl still cowering on the ground.

"I just wanted to see my mum..." she said in a trembling voice, tears rolling down her cheeks. "She doesn't know where I am and she's probably scared. I-I just wanted t-to..." She broke down sobbing, burying her face in her hands.

Hawke walked up to the girl and knelt in front of her, gently putting a hand on her shoulder. "What's your name?"

The girl looked up at him, wiping her tears away. "E-Ella."

Hawke gave her a kind smile. "Don't worry, Ella, we'll help you."

Ella smiled gratefully, a look of overwhelming relief in her eyes, then threw her arms around Hawke's neck and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, ser, thank you so much!" She sniffled and continued crying in the crook of his neck, though they now seemed to be tears of joy.

Hawke looked taken aback by the girl's sudden embrace, then smiled and stroked her head comfortingly. Fenris watched them with an uncomfortable feeling of confusion and doubt growing in his chest. He looked back over at the bodies of the dead templars, who would have assaulted this innocent young girl if they hadn't arrived. He didn't understand, the templars were supposed to be the ones who kept order, who protected people from the evil of mages. They were supposed to be the good guys.

But these men weren't. They were prepared to commit a wicked act, one they had committed before, apparently, on Tranquil mages, and their superior, who was supposed to be in control of them, had no objections. He didn't even care. And this girl, this mage, didn't do a thing to defend herself. She could have easily attacked them with magic, or summoned a demon to protect her, but she didn't do anything. She didn't use magic, blood or otherwise. Why? Weren't mages supposed to be the bad guys and the templars good? Anders had continued claiming otherwise for years, could the mage have been right this whole time? Had Fenris's thoughts been wrong all along?

Fenris scowled, not wanting to think on it anymore, and spun on his heel starting to storm out of the room the way the mage had gone.

Hawke looked up at him as he started going up the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"To have a word with that stupid mage." Fenris responded.

"I-I don't think that's safe, Fenris." Hawke called after him.

"Don't worry, I'll try not to kill him." Fenris called back.

"That's not what..." Hawke sighed heavily. The elf was already gone.

Varric was kneeling beside Ser Alrik's dead body looking at something he had taken off him, a disturbed look on his face. "Uh, Hawke? I think you'd better take a look at this."

Hawke looked over his shoulder and tried to move, but Ella still had a tight hold on him, her head rested on his chest. She had apparently fallen asleep in his arms. Varric walked over and handed him the papers from Alrik's body. Hawke took one look at them and his eyes widened in shock. "No way, this...it's the Tranquil Solution!"

Varric nodded solemnly. "Yeah, looks like Blondie isn't so paranoid after all."

"Well if this doesn't add fuel to the fire I don't know what will." Hawke murmured. He dreaded showing Anders proof that his paranoia was justified, but at the same time if he didn't then his friend would most likely be devastated that he lost control, mercilessly slaughtered a bunch of templars, and nearly killed an innocent girl all for nothing. Hawke looked around at the dead templars lying on the ground. "We uh, we should probably get out of here." he said, carefully lifting Ella up in his arms as he stood.

Varric picked up Anders's fallen staff and removed his bolt from Alrik's throat, not wanting to leave any kind of evidence behind. "Yeah, even I would have a hard time talking my way out of this one if we get caught here."

As the two made their way out of the Gallows dungeon Hawke's mind was filled with deep concern for Anders as well as Fenris. He worried about Anders's stability and Fenris's safety in confronting the mage at this time. The elf didn't exactly know how to be compassionate and comforting, and he was certain things between them probably weren't entirely smoothed out. But he couldn't do anything at the moment, he had to take care of Ella first. Maybe later he would check on his friends and make sure both were still alive and well. Or at least still alive.

{*}

(Another violent rape scene coming up. So once again if you don't like that sort of thing skip ahead. And since this part is being written from Fenris's point of view, Justice Anders goes from being 'he' to things like 'it' and 'creature' because Fenris doesn't think of the spirit as Anders or a person.)

Fenris found the door to the mage's clinic partially open and pushed it open all the way, looking around inside. There was no trace of Anders, but he saw the plank that covered the door in the back was knocked over. He walked in, swinging the clinic door shut behind him and made his way to the mage's bedroom door. He flung it open and found Anders sitting on the side of his bed hunched over with his elbows on his thighs and his head gripped in his hands. He looked pitiful, but Fenris's anger was not deterred. He walked in slamming the door shut behind him.

"What was that?" he asked angrily. "Have you completely lost it?"

Anders didn't look at him, he continued to sit with his head in his hands, his body rocking slightly. "Leave, elf. Keep away from me." he muttered in a trembling voice.

Fenris scowled and stormed up to the mage, grabbing his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere until we talk!"

Anders suddenly jumped up and grabbed Fenris by the arms, flinging him to the side and forcefully shoving him back to slam him against the wall, knocking the wind from the elf. Fenris was too breathless to gasp when Anders lifted his head and glared at the elf with glowing blue eyes. The alter ego called Justice had taken over again.

"I said to leave, you fool!" it shouted, gripping Fenris's arms tightly and holding him in place.

The gash Fenris's gauntlet had left on Anders's cheek earlier glowed the same way his eyes and the cracks on his skin did and slowly closed up before Fenris's eyes, healing immediately. This thing couldn't be harmed, then. If Fenris tried to fight it, it would only heal itself. But even if he did fight back, in the end it would be the mage he harmed. His only option was to try talking it down. Fenris swallowed hard then steeled himself. "Bring the mage back." he said sternly. "I have no business with you, only him."

That didn't help. It actually seemed to anger the creature even more. It scowled fiercely at Fenris. "Anders will not see you, he hides deep inside from his shame and from you. You are nothing but a burden and a distraction! You are no different from a demon of lust, and you poison Anders's mind and heart! You callously cause him grief and suffering with no regard for his feelings!" Its grip on Fenris's arms tightened until it hurt. "You must be punished for your crimes."

Fenris gritted his teeth and winced. The creature's body temperature seemed to be higher than Anders's, and its touch grew hotter the longer it held Fenris. "Let me go, you-!"

The creature suddenly yanked Fenris forward and spun him around then slammed him against the wall again, facing away from it. Fenris grunted and tried to squirm free, but his arm was grabbed and painfully pinned behind his back. It bent his arm and he let out a growl of pain trying to pull free, but the creature was also stronger than Anders and the elf couldn't break its hold. The other ego pressed its body to Fenris's, holding him against the wall. Its breath was hot on his ear, but its words made the elf's blood run cold.

"The punishment must fit the crime."

Fenris was overcome with a feeling of dread, there was only one crime he could think of that he had committed against the mage. Once again, he tried to break free, but the other ego grabbed his hair with its free hand and yanked his head back then slammed it against the wall. Fenris saw a burst of stars before his eyes and became dazed as his head throbbed with pain. Everything turned black and consciousness slipped away from him.

{*}

He couldn't have been out for very long, but by the time Fenris came to he was on his knees slumped forward against the same wall, his hands tied behind his back and his clothes gone. He got an overwhelming sense of reverse déjà vu.

"How does it feel to have a situation turned around on you?" a deep menacing voice asked from behind him.

Fenris turned his head to look over his shoulder, but was barely able to see the creature standing behind him with its arms crossed. Fenris scowled viciously. "You believe you are dealing justice, creature? How are you different from a demon right now?"

It crouched down behind him quickly then roughly grabbed Fenris's hair and yanked his head back. "Do not compare me to a demon," it growled in his ear. "I am merely dispensing punishment for your crime. It is not the same as the act of a demon, it is justice! Therefore, I am nothing like them, or you!"

As it spoke, Fenris got the feeling the alter ego was trying to justify its actions as though it didn't want to believe they were wrong. Before he could think on it more, it grabbed him by the arm and yanked him around to face it on his knees. Fenris's heart leaped at the sight of the creature now that he saw it clearly. It had taken off the mage's clothes and stood naked before him. The glowing blue cracks that spread over its flesh made it look as if the mage was some kind of frail shell containing something powerful and otherworldly that was about to break out of him at any moment. With more of its body exposed it even seemed to glow a little brighter than before, the light blue light radiating from it giving it an almost divine yet still menacing appearance. Fenris's eyes wandered further down and he gulped at the sight of its fully erect manhood. It somehow seemed bigger than normal and pulsed with arousal and the same aura that emanated from the creature.

The alter ego suddenly snatched Fenris's hair on top of his head and jerked his head back, making the elf wince in pain. It took hold of its erection with its other hand and put it to Fenris's lips, but the elf turned his face away with a sneer. The creature brushed the head against his cheek and Fenris felt the unnatural heat it gave off.

"This is not an option for you, elf. Just like it wasn't an option for Anders that night."

Fenris's eyes widened slightly and he glanced down at the ground, his sneer changing into an expression of sorrowful shame. Maybe he didn't have a right to resist or fight back after what he had done to the mage. Fenris had stated to him earlier that he would accept whatever punishment the mage came up with, perhaps this creature had the resolve to do what Anders didn't. The mage was too softhearted, but this thing that he called Justice was not. Fenris slowly turned his head back, parting his lips a little, and the creature's hot, throbbing manhood forced his mouth open wider as almost the whole length was roughly shoved in, filling the elf's mouth in an instant. "Mm!"

Fenris shut his eyes tightly and struggled to breathe. He tried not to choke as the alter ego began thrusting into his mouth hard and forced him to take it deep. Like before, the erection that was being forcefully shoved into his mouth felt a little hotter than normal. It was as if the light that shone from the creature created heat that raised the mage's body temperature. It wasn't burning, but it was more uncomfortable than Fenris liked. He took deep breaths through his nose and began using his tongue and sucking the creature's erection, wanting to bring it to a climax quickly so it would be over sooner.

"It...feels better than I thought..." the creature murmured with a low groan.

It gripped Fenris's head with both hands and moved its hips faster, its sounds of pleasure sounded almost frightening in that deep, monstrous voice. Its thrusts caused the back of Fenris's head to knock against the wall with each push, creating more pain in the elf's already aching head. The creature closed its eyes and rested its head against the wall, seeming to fully enjoy the feel of the reluctant elf's mouth. Fenris groaned and squirmed in discomfort, feeling like he couldn't take much more. He moved his head in response to the thing's hips, sucking the hard, hot erection harder and deep throating it until he was on the verge of suffocation. To his relief, the creature's dick soon swelled with its rising climax and its moans of ecstasy grew louder. Finally, it leaned its head back and let out a growling moan, loosing its hot load in Fenris's mouth, then pulled out and released more on the elf's face.

Fenris coughed and gasped for air, some of the hot semen spilling over the corners of his mouth and running down his chin as well as the bridge of his nose and cheek where the alter ego had released in his face. He reluctantly swallowed what was left in his mouth and shuddered at the feeling of it running down his throat. It was hotter than the mage's normal semen, and the heat continued to linger in the back of his throat afterward. He only had a moment to catch his breath before the creature grabbed his neck at the back and picked him up with almost no effort. Fenris was shoved forward toward the bed where he landed on his stomach at the edge, only making it half way on. As he was trying to lift the lower half of his body from his knees, his hips were grabbed from behind and forcefully raised in the air. He was pushed forward and his knees landed on the bed, leaving his ass up in the air. Fenris turned his head on its side and tried to look back at the creature, but couldn't get a view from that position.

"What do you think you're-?!"

The feel of the other ego's dick suddenly pressing against his asshole made Fenris's heart race with panic. "Wait, you're not...y-you can't just shove it-guh!"

His words were cut short as the creature's dick was suddenly shoved into his ass roughly. Fenris's head jerked back and his eyes widened, an attempt to gasp and cry out at the same time resulted in a strangled noise escaping his mouth. He could feel his virgin asshole being forcefully stretched open and the muscles inside clenched in response to the pain. The creature let out a moan of pleasure and gripped Fenris's hips, digging its nails into his skin. Fenris gritted his teeth with a groan of pain as the thing began roughly pounding into him, the flesh around the rim of his anus having to tear in order to accommodate the large member that invaded it. The warmth of his insides combined with the heat coming off of the alter ego's dick felt too hot to be normal and was on the verge of burning. How could the mage bear this? Fenris never understood how anal sex could feel good, but now he doubted it more than ever despite how much Anders always seemed to enjoy it.

Of course, it probably didn't help that he was being raped by a mad and merciless spirit inside a man's body.

Fenris buried his face against the bed and clenched his fists behind his back, grunting with every thrust the creature made into him. It bent over him and began driving itself in deeper and with more force, rubbing the elf's unprepared insides raw. It moaned and growled in ecstasy, making Fenris feel almost sickened by the thought of a monster gaining pleasure at his expense. Then again, he wasn't so different himself not that long ago. Did the mage feel this much pain? Did he hate it as much as Fenris did right now? He squeezed back the tears building up in his eyes and waited impatiently for the alter ego to finish.

The creature wrapped its arms around his torso and pressed its chest and abs to the elf's bare back and arms. Fenris's skin felt hot everywhere the thing touched him and he began to sweat profusely, feeling overheated. Fenris panted heavily and squirmed, turning his head to look back. "Get off of me, you foul thing!" he growled. He was awfully tempted to disembowel this thing with his power while it was up against him and just apologize to the mage later.

"Silence." it hissed in his ear, then bit his neck.

Fenris let out a gasp and made a grunt of pain, grimacing at the feeling of hot teeth biting into his flesh. It seemed to excite the creature more, and its thrusts came harder and faster, its moans growing more intense. Each time it drove its dick into him it felt as though his insides were tearing more and more. Finally, the alter ego gave a final thrust and let loose another thick, hot load inside of Fenris. His raised hips made the semen run down deeper inside him, he could feel every inch of its journey. The elf let out a loud groan of pain at the burning sensation it caused in his sore, raw insides. The creature made a soft groan, huffing and panting in his ear. Fenris scowled in angered disgust and started to struggle beneath it.

"You've done your deed, now let me go and bring the mage back!" he shouted.

The alter ego pulled out of the elf and sat back on its knees, staring at him for a moment in silence, its face solemn and unreadable.

"No...it's not enough..." it murmured, as if to itself.

Fenris's eyes widened in horror; he really should have disemboweled it when he had the chance. Feeling he had no choice but to fight, he decided to make it up to the mage later for kicking his ass while he was 'away'. Fenris kicked back with his leg and his foot made contact with the creature's stomach. The elf felt triumphant for only a brief second, until he realized his attack barely had any effect. It hardly even made the thing move; he may as well have kicked a wall. All his attempt seemed to do was piss the creature off. It scowled fiercely and grabbed Fenris's leg, jerking it to the side roughly and flipping the elf over on his back. Fenris gasped looking up at the vile thing that was prepared to assault him again. Once again, he got that nagging feeling of reverse déjà vu.

It grabbed his legs under the knees and forced his legs open, fully revealing his groin and ass area. When it saw his soft manhood, Fenris thought he saw a small smirk of satisfaction on its face, as if it was glad he wasn't feeling anything but displeasure. Suddenly, it leaned down and gave Fenris's soft dick a slow lick then wrapped its lips around it and began sucking on it.

Fenris jerked his hips to the side, trying to knock the creature off. "Stop! I have no desire to be pleasured by the likes of you! Just finish your 'punishment' and be gone!"

His words were ignored as the thing continued sucking him off in its hot mouth, and to Fenris's shame he actually felt pleasure and started getting hard. The elf then realized that the creature wanted to humiliate him just as he had done the mage. He gritted his teeth and lay his head back as he tried to suppress his groans, not wanting it to know he was feeling the pleasure. His efforts were unsuccessful though, and a low moan escaped his lips. Its mouth was hot and wet and almost reminded him of the inside of the mage's ass. Without realizing it, Fenris began moving his hips with the movement of the creature's head, becoming lost in the feel of that familiar mouth and tongue enveloping his throbbing manhood. In response to the elf's surrender to pleasure and need for climax, it began sucking him off harder while gripping the base of his dick and giving it a light squeeze. Fenris let out a gasping moan and arched his back. "Ahhn..."

He hated himself for feeling so good, but those tight lips and skillfully worked tongue brought him pleasure and excitement he couldn't resist. Fenris felt light-headed as his approaching climax grew closer. Suddenly, the creature pulled back from Fenris's rapidly throbbing dick, leaving it on the verge of blowing its load. Fenris made a growl of frustration and pursed his lips together, fighting back the urge to protest. He wouldn't cave in to his carnal desires and humiliate himself for this thing thing's amusement. Fenris expected it to make him beg for release as he had done to the mage, but instead it sat back on its knees and wiped its mouth with the back of its hand, looking down at Fenris with a disturbingly emotionless face. Taking hold of its erection, it positioned it for the elf's asshole once more.

Fenris looked up at it in a slight panic. "Wait, at least go easy this ti-aah!"

Once again his words were cut short by the intense pain when the creature roughly shoved its erection into Fenris's sore anus again. Though it went in easier this time because of the semen inside of him, it was still almost as painful. Just as his growing climax started to fade, the alter ego grabbed his erection and began roughly stroking it while driving its own manhood into his ass with great force. Fenris clenched his teeth and panted heavily, the mixture of pain and pleasure nearly driving him mad. The creature's hand was hot and the friction from it jerking him off only made it hotter, but it felt incredible. His erection felt like it would melt in that despicable thing's hand, and it throbbed with intense arousal and pleasure. He couldn't hold back his voice and his cries drowned out the creature's own sounds of ecstasy.

To Fenris's shame and embarrassment, he was growing closer to a climax while the vile thing raped him in the ass with driving force. Even in his murky haze he felt guilt at having taunted Anders for experiencing the same thing the night he raped him. Though Fenris wanted to resist, he simply couldn't. He squirmed and writhed, every muscle in his body tensing as his climaxed peaked and he threw his head back with a cry of pleasure. His load shot out onto his stomach, melting into a small puddle on his abs. He shuddered as waves of pleasure coursed through his body then slowly faded.

Fenris went limp with exhaustion and he panted heavily, turning his head away and clenching his jaw in anger. Now that his thoughts were no longer clouded from intense pleasure and rising climax, he felt humiliated that this thing made him come against his will. Now all he could do was wait until it satisfied itself, though he wondered how many rounds that would take. His body shook and trembled as the alter ego continued thrusting into his ass deeply, its loud moans indicating it was growing closer to its own climax. Fenris felt its dick throb and twitch inside his ass, then finally another load of hot semen filled his raw insides as the creature reached its orgasm, letting out a loud growl of pleasure. It left its dick deep inside Fenris's ass until it spilled every last drop. It slowly pulled out and a small amount of semen ran out of his sore orifice.

Fenris kept his head turned away, waiting for the creature to decide his fate. It stared down at him for a moment in silence with that same expressionless face as before. It grasped Fenris's chin and forced him to turn his head back to it. He glared at it with a fierce scowl but remained silent. His scowl quickly vanished when it suddenly leaned down and kissed him unexpectedly. Fenris's eyes widened and he tried to turn his head again, but it bit his lower lip to keep him from pulling away. It released his lip and pushed its tongue into his mouth, forcing a deep kiss that made the elf's stomach lurch. It was the mage's lips, the mage's tongue and the mage's kiss. But it wasn't the mage. Those searing lips and hot tongue tangling with his own didn't feel anything like Anders's.

When it finally pulled back Fenris let out a breath of hot air that the kiss had left in his mouth. Again the creature looked down on him, a dissatisfied look on its face, and Fenris grew nervous that it wasn't done with him yet.

"As I thought," it murmured. "there is no satisfaction."

Fenris was overcome with dread again, it was going to rape him more?

"It is simply empty with no feelings. No matter how great the physical pleasure is, it just isn't satisfying to the heart."

Fenris stared at the alter ego, a look of bewilderment on his face. It wasn't satisfied with the sex because there were no feelings? What did that even mean? It sure seemed like it was enjoying torturing him, but it didn't feel satisfied after raping him in the mouth and ass, twice? Fenris scowled in anger as his irritation grew. "You're lucky you're in my lover's body, you bastard, or I would rip you limb from limb."

The alter ego did something strange then. It let out an amused chuckle. Fenris's scowl disappeared and he looked at it confused. "What is so funny?"

It gave the elf a little smirk. "You say interesting things when you drop your guard..."

Fenris couldn't figure out what it was talking about at first, but then he realized his slip from a moment ago. He had just called the mage his lover. He began to stammer. "I-I didn't mean...it was just an accident!"

"Enough. No more of these games. If you know what is good for you, elf, you will cease causing Anders grief and confusing his feelings. You fill him with doubt and uncertainty. Continue to do so and you will deal with me again..."

With that warning, the alter ego closed its eyes and its power seemed to recede. The glowing cracks and threatening aura faded and disappeared. Anders's body swayed slightly and when his eyes slowly opened again they were their normal color of amber. He looked dazed and blinked slowly a couple of times then looked down at Fenris. His eyes focused on the elf, taking in the bleeding cut on the side of his forehead, semen on his face and abs, and his red, torn anus with a mixture of semen and a small amount of blood spilling out. Anders's expression went from confused, to realization, then horror. His eyes widened and he nearly fell back off the bed.

"W-what...what have I done?!" he cried.

Fenris struggled to sit himself up and suppressed the urge to wince when putting pressure on his sore asshole. He kept a calm face, looking Anders in the eyes. "Calm down, mage. It was mostly my fault, I kind of antagonized that alter ego. But after what I did to you the other night it's no wonder it did the same to me..."

Anders's eyes widened in shock at the elf's news. He stumbled back out of the bed with an anguished cry and backed into the wall, sliding down it into a sitting position. He stared at the ground holding his head as tears welled up in his eyes and his body trembled. "I-I...how could I? What have I done to my friend Justice? This is all my fault. If only I didn't hate, if only I didn't feel anger...he wouldn't have changed like this. Justice was so good and kind, but now, because of me, we're just...a monster..." Anders shut his eyes tightly and the tears he had been holding back streamed down his cheeks.

Fenris quickly climbed out of the bed and moved over to the mage, nearly collapsing because of the weakness in his legs. He knelt in front of Anders and leaned forward, touching his forehead to the mage's and lightly nudged Anders's nose with his own. Anders opened his eyes and met Fenris's. The elf looked at the mage with a serious gaze. "What was done to me was no less than I deserved."

Anders looked down again, then shook his head. "No, it shouldn't have happened. I never wanted this, neither what happened to you nor Justice. I used him to hide from my shame of almost killing a young girl and as a result you were attacked by him, and in my body. Justice and I are one, it wasn't any different from me doing it..."

"I told you," Fenris said firmly but gently. "I would accept any punishment delivered to me for what I did to you. I deserved it, and now we're even."

Anders looked at Fenris, still seeming doubtful, but didn't say anything. He looked the elf up and down, taking in the state he was in once more, then reached behind him and untied his wrists with trembling hands.

Fenris brought his arms in front of him again, ignoring the ache in his muscles from the uncomfortable position they had been in, and took hold of Anders's face in both hands. The mage no longer felt unnaturally hot and Fenris felt comfort from his familiar, gentle warmth. He leaned in to kiss Anders but the mage turned his face away. Fenris frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I don't deserve it." Anders said softly.

Fenris tilted his head and met the mage's turned face. "That is my decision." He kissed Anders deeply and didn't pull away until the mage kissed back. Anders's arms wrapped around Fenris and he held the elf tightly. Fenris felt the desperation in his embrace and remembered holding on to the mage in the same manner just a short while ago. He was certain now that neither one of them wanted to let go. Deep down he hated the thought of being weak and dependent, but at the same time he felt that he couldn't go back to that loneliness from before. Not even if nothing but darkness awaited them.

They finally separated to catch their breaths and Anders reached up to brush back Fenris's bangs lightly. The elf winced when the tips of the mage's fingers passed over the cut on his forehead. Anders quickly yanked his hand back. "S-sorry, I forgot..." He leaned forward and lightly touched his lips to the cut, kissing it gently.

Fenris blushed in embarrassment, the sweet gesture made him feel strangely happy. Anders continued kissing down to the elf's cheek then to his neck and Fenris tilted his head, letting out a light groan. He looked back at Anders and took his hand, carefully standing on his weak legs and backed up to the bed, pulling the mage along. The two climbed onto the bed again and Fenris laid back with Anders on top as they began making out again.

Anders lifted his head and looked Fenris in the eyes. "Let me heal you."

"This pain is a result of my punishment for what I did to you. Why should you heal me?"

Anders gave a light shrug. "I'm actually nice."

Fenris frowned. "Are you saying I'm not nice, mage?"

"If the shoe fits..."

"I don't wear shoes."

"Whatever, you know what I mean."

Fenris chuckled and caressed Anders's cheek, giving him a light kiss. "Very well, if it makes you feel better."

Anders continued their kiss while placing his hands on Fenris's chest. They began to glow with a white blue light that spread across Fenris's body, enveloping him in a gentle, soothing warmth. Fenris could feel his pain slowly vanishing; the dull ache in his head from being slammed against the wall grew fainter and the agonizing pain in his ass lessened until it was no more. He couldn't deny his relief at being rid of the pain, even if he had deserved it. How much pain did the mage feel that night? It must have been worse than his own since he had done so much more. Fenris had paid the price, but it was to that mad spirit, not the mage. Maybe they weren't even after all.

"Take me."

Anders looked at Fenris in surprised confusion, the healing light disappearing. "What?"

Fenris glanced aside, a light blush on his face. "Take me the way I take you." he murmured.

Anders blinked a couple of times, trying to process the elf's words. "You...want to switch roles?"

Fenris nodded, still not looking back at the mage. Anders gulped lightly feeling a tingle of excitement in his groin. He'd never thought about reversing positions with Fenris before, as the elf was clearly a top, but the thought of Fenris beneath him, squirming and moaning in pleasure as he drove himself into the elf's ass repeatedly...

Anders shook his head quickly, trying to get his mind back on track. "Uh, well...aren't you worried about being hurt after what just happened?"

Fenris looked back up at Anders with a frown, but he seemed more embarrassed than angry. "Idiot, if it's you it's fine!" he said in irritation.

Anders couldn't help but smile, which seemed to irritate Fenris even more.

"What is with that look?" he asked with suspicion.

Anders smiled teasingly at the elf. "You're just adorable when you're embarrassed."

Fenris's face got redder and he shoved the mage's shoulder. "Don't say such ridiculous things, you stupid mage!"

Anders merely chuckled in amusement. "I guess now is a good time to try out my new product..."

Fenris eyed Anders. "What new product?"

Anders reached over to the stand next to his bed and opened the drawer part way, taking something out before shutting it again. He held up a jar in his hand similar to the jar of balm he had given Fenris a couple of weeks ago.

"What is that?" Fenris asked suspiciously.

"Just a little something I whipped up for a guy who wanted to...'spice things up' during sex with his woman. It's a type of lubricant that also heightens sensitivity for greater pleasure."

"You _would_ come up with something like that..." the elf grumbled.

Anders chuckled and unscrewed the lid then gathered some of the clear, jelly like substance on two of his fingers before setting the jar aside. He touched his middle finger to Fenris's anus and felt it twitch in response. Slowly, he slid part of his finger in and the muscles inside tensed at the feeling. Anders felt a shiver of excitement at the tight, hot muscles that gripped his finger. His manhood grew hot with desire and he carefully pushed in deeper, keeping an eye on the elf's reactions as he began moving his finger around inside, slowly pumping and twisting it to spread the lubricant around.

Fenris swallowed hard and tried to relax as the mage's finger probed his insides. The jelly felt cold at first, but soon he felt a warm, tingling sensation that seemed to amplify the feel of the mage's touch a bit. It felt strange, but it wasn't unpleasant. There was little pain now, and he soon relaxed his body allowing Anders's finger to move more freely inside him. Though it didn't hurt, he still felt no pleasure. "Are you sure you're doing this right?" he asked.

Anders stopped moving his finger and gave the elf a glare of annoyance. "Which one of this has been doing this longer? Shut up and let me do my thing."

Fenris glanced to the side and muttered. "Your 'thing' doesn't seem to be all that skillful."

Anders looked down at the elf with a frown then suddenly shoved his finger in quickly, making the elf gasp in surprise and jerk his hips.

"Ah! I-idiot!"

The mage suddenly grinned at the elf's reaction, and Fenris felt a twinge of nervousness at the look in his eyes. Anders leaned forward and placed a hand beside Fenris's head, looming over him with a devious look on his face. It reminded Fenris of the first night they'd had sex and the mage had been in control. He swallowed lightly, wishing he hadn't antagonized him.

"I'll make you feel good, elf..." Anders murmured in an almost ominous tone.

Before Fenris could respond, Anders kissed him deeply and began moving his finger deeper, putting a little more force into his thrusts. Fenris's inner muscles felt strange as the lubricant began taking greater effect and he made a soft groan in their kiss. His insides tingled and he felt an unexpected heat that seemed to radiate from the mage's finger, but it wasn't uncomfortable like the heat coming from the alter ego. Anders moved over to kiss Fenris's neck, sucking lightly on his skin, and moved down to the elf's collar-bone, then erect nipple and gave it a flick of his tongue. Fenris's face felt hot with embarrassment at how good he was starting to feel and he took hold of Anders's head with both hands, burying his fingers in the mage's hair. The other man began sucking on his nipple, causing a pleasurable, tickling sensation.

"Nn..." Fenris leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his erection starting to throb with the desire for those soft lips and warm, wet tongue. He gave Anders's head a little downward pull, letting the mage know where he wanted him to go next.

Anders lifted his head and looked the elf in the eyes, giving him a teasing grin. "What is it, elf? What do you want me to do?"

Fenris clenched his jaw in irritation and pressed his lips together, not saying anything.

Anders's grin grew bigger. "Say it or else I won't know."

Fenris blushed deeply and glared at the mage, but he was clearly embarrassed. "You know, idiot!"

"Hmm, I have no idea..." Anders said teasingly, and began sucking on the elf's nipple again, swirling his warm, wet tongue around it. He pressed his chest down on Fenris's hot manhood and put pressure on it, feeling it throb with arousal.

Fenris gritted his teeth and moved his hips, but the contact wasn't enough to satisfy him. Finally, he could wait no longer. "Blow me..." he murmured.

Anders looked up at the elf again. "What was that?"

Fenris let out a growl and looked back at the mage. "Blow me! Suck my dick!"

Anders smirked at the elf smugly. "Say the magic word..."

Fenris blinked. "Y-you bastard!"

Anders pushed his finger in harder. "That's not it."

Fenris made another groan and turned his head away with his eyes closed. "P-please...suck my...dick..."

Anders smiled in satisfaction and took hold of the elf's erection with his free hand while keeping his finger in his ass. He gave it a long lick from the base to the head and caressed the tip with his lips, sucking on it gently and was pleased to hear a soft groan of appreciation from the elf. He prodded the hole with the tip of his tongue and tasted Fenris's salty semen already beginning to leak out. As he took more of the elf's dick into his mouth he gradually added another finger into his ass and pushed them in deep, pressing and rubbing his insides as he searched for the right spot. Fenris suddenly let out a gasp and moaned, then quickly clasped his hand over his mouth.

Anders pulled up quickly and looked at him. "Did it hurt?"

Fenris kept his hand over his mouth and slowly shook his head. Anders grinned, realizing he had found the spot, and began stimulating the elf's prostate more. He returned to sucking Fenris off while fingering his ass, feeling his muscles tense in response to his fingers and his dick throbbing in his mouth. The elf leaned his head back and moved his hips, starting to thrust into Anders's mouth.

Fenris removed his hand from his mouth and grabbed Anders's head, making him go faster. The strange jolt of pleasure he felt in his ass surprised him and grew in intensity the more the mage touched and rubbed it. It was a new feeling of pleasure he hadn't expected to feel from his ass, and he could feel the mage's fingers spread and widen his insides more gently than the spirit's forceful penetration. As his ass started feeling more pleasure, the excitement in his erection grew. Anders sucked his dick harder, making the elf moan more loudly.

Anders picked up speed with both his fingers and mouth, Fenris's sweet sounds of ecstasy making his own erection ache with desire. His dick grew hotter and harder and he could hardly wait to feel it deep inside his lover's ass. The elf squirmed and his gasps and moans grew in volume until finally he let out his cry of orgasmic bliss and filled Anders's mouth with his semen. The mage swallowed every last drop and slowly pulled his fingers out of the elf's ass then lifted his head to look at Fenris.

"How did it feel, elf?"

Fenris panted softly and opened his eyes part way, seeming slow to recover from his climax. Still holding Anders's head, he pulled the mage up to him and made him kiss him, his tongue slipping into the other man's mouth and tangling together with Anders's own tongue. The passionate kiss left both men unable to breathe and they separated to catch their breaths.

"So?" Anders asked expectantly.

Fenris turned his eyes away, unable to look directly at the mage. "It was...good."

Anders frowned, unsatisfied with that answer. "Good? That's it?"

Fenris hesitated, then looked back at the mage, a shy and embarrassed look on his face. "A-actually, it was...amazing."

Once again, Anders felt the twinge of excitement in his groin and his face grew flushed. His adorable, shy elf from the first night had surfaced again. Now he was desperate to satisfy himself with the elf's ass. He leaned down and lightly kissed Fenris's lips. "Ready for the next part?"

Fenris gave a slight nod and slowly opened his legs more for the mage. Anders quickly grabbed the jar again and gathered more of the lubricant on his fingers, then began applying it on his erection, feeling the effects almost immediately. He stroked his manhood until the jelly covered it then positioned the head for Fenris's ass. He rubbed it on the elf's asshole then slowly slid his dick in part way, feeling the other man tense right away. Anders let out a groan and lay on top of the elf, nuzzling his face against his neck. "Ease up, you're squeezing me too tight."

Fenris swallowed hard, still seeming to feel some fear from what happened earlier. Anders held Fenris's hip with one hand and caressed his cheek with the other, bringing their faces close. "I won't hurt you." he murmured, and kissed the elf tenderly. Fenris closed his eyes and gradually relaxed, giving the mage easier access into his ass. Anders carefully pushed in deeper, the lubricant making his erection slide in more easily. He moaned at the wonderful sensation of the elf's tight ass and the heightened sensitivity caused by the lube. It had been a long time since he had been the one doing the penetrating, and it took some effort to restrain himself for the elf's sake. He entered all the way to the base and paused to allow Fenris to grow used to his manhood being inside him.

Fenris wrapped his arms around Anders and embraced him tightly. When the mage pushed his erection deep into his ass he felt the head press against a spot that caused a pulse of pleasure and a moan escaped his lips. The mage kissed along his neck then ran his tongue along Fenris's long ear and the elf felt a shiver of excitement as the other man's tongue slid along his sensitive ear. When Anders gently bit it the way he usually did to the mage it created a jolt of tingling pleasure and Fenris let out a gasp and gripped Anders more tightly. He'd never realized it, but it seemed his ears were sensitive to more than just sound. Anders sucked on the long tip and teased it with his tongue making Fenris shudder and moan as his face grew hot and flushed.

Anders slowly began moving his hips back and forth and pressed his face to Fenris's neck again, letting out low moans and groans. He felt the elf shudder beneath him and at Fenris's sounds of pleasure Anders gradually began picking up speed. He could feel Fenris tense causing the muscles in his ass to grip Anders's erection more tightly, but this time it wasn't from pain or fear. The elf's sounds of pleasure and ecstasy along with his special lube served to heighten Anders's excitement and pleasure. He felt like he would come sooner than normal but held back, wanting the elf to feel good first. As he began to thrust harder Fenris's voice grew louder and more intense. Anders grabbed the elf's narrow hips and sat back on his knees, watching the other man's lewd expressions and reactions to him inside his ass.

Fenris felt hot and light-headed, his dick throbbed and pulsed with each thrust Anders made into his ass. Each time the mage hit deep inside he felt a wave of pleasure unlike any he felt before. His voice came out in passionate moans and cries of arousal that he couldn't hold back. When Anders grasped his erection while continuing to drive into his ass Fenris made a gasp and arched his back. "Ah!"

Anders grinned and gave the elf's dick a squeeze making him jerk in surprise. Fenris groaned and squirmed, gripping the pillow beneath his head and curling toes. The mage started jerking him off and Fenris felt some of the lubricant was still on his hand. His erection started feeling the effects and his body was gripped with indescribable pleasure. The pressure of his rising climax began building and his moans and cries grew louder. He pushed himself up making Anders sit back and got into the mage's lap, wrapping his arms and legs around him and rode the mage's dick to a climax.

"Ahh...Anders!" He let out a loud, passionate moan and hugged his lover tightly as he came. His insides tensed and squeezed Anders's throbbing, twitching erection.

Anders let out a cry, finally relieving himself and came deep inside Fenris's ass. He shuddered and rested his forehead against the elf's, waiting for the coursing waves of pleasure to fade. Fenris took hold of the mage's face and kissed him passionately. Anders returned the kiss before pulling back and gave the elf a little grin. "So, how was that?"

Fenris snorted at the smug mage then rested his head on Anders's shoulder, closing his eyes. "Alright, I admit it... It was incredible."

Anders smiled lightly and rested his head against the elf's with closed eyes.

"But I still like doing you in the ass the most."

Anders opened his eyes with a frown and sighed. "You always have to ruin it, don't you?" he muttered. He was going to miss his adorable, shy elf.

Fenris chuckled then pushed Anders back making him lay on his back with his head by the foot of the bed and crawled over the mage. "Admit it, you love having me inside you, don't you?"

Anders grabbed Fenris by the back of the head and pulled him down, bringing their faces close together. "Never said I didn't." he grinned.

Fenris kissed Anders's lips lightly. "Then I'll give you what you want..." He brought his hand down between Anders's legs pressed his middle finger to the mage's asshole, feeling it twitch at his touch. "...where you want it."

Anders lifted his head and kissed Fenris passionately, wrapping his arms around the elf's neck. Fenris slipped his tongue between the mage's lips and the two swirled their tongues together while panting breathlessly. Fenris removed his hand from between Anders's legs and began feeling around on the bed next to them. He found the jar of lubricant and dipped two fingers in it then returned them to the mage's asshole and slowly pushed both inside. Anders's ass tightened around his fingers then the muscles relaxed again allowing Fenris to slide his fingers in deeper. The mage let out a soft groan in their kiss and lay his head back with his eyes closed.

Fenris's wet fingers twisted and rubbed around inside Anders's ass, stimulating his prostate and making his erection throb with excitement and arousal. Anders could feel the lubricant heightening his muscles' sensitivity and moved his hips with the movement of the elf's fingers. Fenris pressed against his sweet spot deep inside and Anders let out a little gasp, feeling a strong jolt of pleasure that made a moan escape his lips. "Ahh..."

As good as it felt having the mage inside him, Fenris enjoyed the feeling of being inside Anders the most. His own erection throbbed with the anticipation of being hugged by those tight, hot insides once more. He continued thrusting his fingers deep and hard into Anders's ass, licking his lips hungrily as he watched the mage's reactions to the intense pleasure created from the lubricant. Once he felt Anders's insides were properly prepared, he pulled his fingers back out and took hold of his manhood, pressing the head to the mage's anus and teasingly rubbed it against the hole without putting it in yet.

"Hurry, put it in..." Anders groaned anxiously.

Fenris grinned with delight, the mage knew just what he wanted to hear. "Slutty little mage, you're addicted to my dick, aren't you?"

Before Anders could deliver his angry retort, Fenris shoved his erection in quickly and deeply making Anders gasp in surprise. His insides clenched and Fenris shuddered with a moan of pleasure. He pressed his hips into the mage's, entering him all the way, and held still for a moment to enjoy the sweet sensation. He pressed his face into the crook of Anders's neck and began slowly moving his hips. Fenris's erection became wet from the lube and began tingling with the strange but pleasurable feeling again while growing warmer, but not to an uncomfortable level. He moved in and out more easily and began picking up speed while the mage let out sexy moans in his ear.

Anders arched his back and his legs trembled with each thrust Fenris made, the tip of the elf's erection hitting his prostate each time. He felt Fenris's lips caressing the side of his neck and sucking the skin persistently.

"Don't you...ahh...don't even think about...leaving another hickey..." he panted.

Fenris moved his lips to Anders's ear and murmured. "I will always leave my mark on you. I told you, you are mine..."

He took hold of Anders's cheek and turned the mage's face to him, looking him in the eyes. "...and I am yours."

Anders blushed deeply and gulped. He felt a swelling of happiness in his chest and grasped the back of Fenris's head pulling him into a deep a kiss. Their lips locked and their moans of ecstasy became muffled. Fenris continued picking up speeding and driving himself deeper and harder into the mage. Anders arched and squirmed beneath him, making his own erection rub between their two tight bodies and creating stimulation from the friction. Anders finally had to lean his head and break off the kiss to catch his breath, his voice growing louder with his rising orgasm.

The mage's sexy sounds of excitement and ecstasy served to heighten Fenris's arousal, bringing him closer to his own orgasm. Their voices filled the air with moans and cries until they were almost on the brink of climax.

Suddenly, light from the outside flooded the room as the door was swung open. Hawke stood in the doorway with a panicked expression on his face, his hand still on the knob.

"Anders! Fenris! Are you guys alri-!" Hawke froze in wide-eyed shock at the scene he stumbled upon. The cause of the shouting he had heard was far different from what he thought it was.

Anders jerked his head back to look at the door from an upside down point of view and Fenris quickly lifted his own to stare at the startled intruder. Everyone remained frozen in a moment of long, awkward silence.

Finally, Hawke began slowly backing out of the room, pulling the door shut with him. He closed the door and the two heard the sound of his quickly departing footsteps followed by the sound of the clinic door being shut as he exited in a rush.

"Well, that's one more person traumatized..." Anders muttered, putting his hand over his face in embarrassment. First Aveline's guards woman in Lowtown, now Hawke. But at least they didn't have to see the guards woman on a regular basis.

"He'll get over it." Fenris said bluntly.

Anders removed his hand and looked at the elf angrily. "How can you be so calm, you-ah!"

Fenris gave an abrupt thrust into Anders's ass and grinned at the mage. "Quit pretending, mage. You know it excited you."

Anders gritted his teeth and scowled at the elf, his face turning red. "Don't say stupid things-ahhn!"

Fenris started to thrust into Anders's ass again with a sadistic smirk. "I felt how hard your dick got against my stomach when he walked in on us. It was throbbing like mad. Getting caught excites you, doesn't it?"

Anders groaned and leaned his head back. "I-idiot! That wasn't it, I just...I was almost..."

Fenris chuckled and grasped the mage's hips as he began driving himself into Anders's ass with great force again. He leaned down and whispered into Anders's ear. "Whatever you say, my naughty little mage..."

Anders couldn't hold back anymore as that deep, smooth voice filled his ear and that hard, hot erection pounded into his ass repeatedly. The climax that had been interrupted returned almost immediately and Anders held on tightly to Fenris. "Ah...Fenris...!"

Anders was overwhelmed with pleasure as his orgasm made every muscle in his body tighten. His semen spurted out between their stomachs in a hot, wet mess. Fenris continued driving into his ass and soon followed with his own climax, his moan of intense pleasure accompanying a load of hot, thick semen spilling into the mage's ass.

Fenris collapsed on top of Anders and the two men went limp with exhaustion. They lay still and silent until they caught their breaths again and their muscles regained strength. After a long moment, Anders nudged the drowsy elf laying on top of him.

"Get up, you're heavy."

"Shut up, I'm comfortable." Fenris mumbled.

"...Justice."

"Fine." the elf growled in exasperation and crawled off the mage, repositioning himself to lay with his head on an actual pillow. He rolled onto his side to face Anders when the mage took his place next to him. "So, feel ready to forgive me now, mage?"

Anders shrugged casually. "Perhaps. We should try that more often, I think."

"Violence? Rape? Getting walked in on?"

"Not...what I meant, no."

Fenris chuckled softly and closed his eyes. "I suppose I could bear switching roles every now and then."

Fenris moved closer to Anders and the mage put his arms around him, holding him close. He nestled his face in soft, white hair and lightly kissed the top of the elf's head. He never realized how much he missed the feeling of holding someone in his arms. The comforting feeling it brought was almost enough to lull him to sleep. Anders closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep.

"What should we do about Hawke?"

Anders opened his eyes again and blinked a couple of times. He'd actually forgotten about scarring his friend and wished the elf hadn't reminded him. "I don't know. What do you say to someone who's walked in on you during sex?"

"...'room for one more'?"

"FENRIS!"

* * *

So, end of chapter 2. Sorry for the long wait again. I'm doing my best, really! Third and final chapter on its way. ...eventually. Again, it may take some time. Don't worry, I'm not going to pull an L.G. Bass and disappear without finishing. I won't leave you guys hanging and unsatisfied ;)


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